My sis's FIL is in final days of lung ca

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
My sis's FIL is in final days of lung ca
9
Fri, 03-02-2007 - 10:37am
He is in the final days we believe of his battle with stage IV lung cancer. He had cancer which has spread now to his lung. He has been vomiting for two weeks now and today they called a hospice to come make him more comfortable. My poor sister is having such a hard time bc her husband is hurting so much. They told them that it will probably be very shortly that he will pass. I am wondering if anyone has any idea at this point what they mean when they say shortly. Is that meaning only another day or two or are we talking maybe a week or two. It is bad and he can't get out of bed and is going to be getting morphine today. Does anyone else have experience w/ this. And what can i do for my sister. Her husband is the rock of that family and is not emotional but it is hitting him hard now and it is so difficult for her to see him like that. Any suggestions on how i can help them during this time. thanks, shannon

Shannon


Matthew 4/4/05


Caleb 6/8/06


 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 03-02-2007 - 10:30pm

Hi Shannon


Oh your family needs lots of hugs.

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2004
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 11:25am
I am also interested in the stages and what they mean. They told my H the average survival was 4 mo. since his lung cancer had spread to other parts such as the brain. This weekend he was in so much pain thinking he had coughed so hard to knock a rib out of place or something so he is on pain meds now. I just wonder also what are the signs and each step how close to tell what is next. I think it is the cancer since it is in his bones and such, but want to know what to do next. We are in the 3rd mo. since they told him about 4 mo. So I will keep searching for information and see if someone else knows also. It seems like we really don't get much info from Dr. at this point whether they don't want to tell us exactly how long or what. Just frustrated on what to expect also. My heart and prayers are with you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2006
Thu, 03-08-2007 - 11:15pm

Hi Shannon,


The best thing you can do for your sister is be her rock while her husband grieves. Take her dinner, be her shoulder, love her. Her fil could pass in an hour, a day or a week. Everyone is different. My best friend's father found out he had cancer a month ago, he died on Friday. They told her on Friday morning that it was time. He died at 6:30 that night.


My best to you and your family.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 03-09-2007 - 12:14am

I am so sorry for your loss.

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2006
Fri, 03-09-2007 - 10:27am
Thank you. It has been very difficult.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Sat, 03-10-2007 - 1:45pm

My brother Michael passed away last month. His lung cancer had spread to his brain bones ect... He lasted about 4 months and in his last days ( for about 2 weeks) he started not wanting to eat. He had alot of swelling in his legs. He developed blood clots in his legs. He didn't pee very much. His kidneys started failing. He started sleeping alot. When he was awake he started asking to see different people he haden't seen for awhile. This lasted about 2 weeks. He was living at my house and hospice was seeing him there. About 2 days before he died The hospice came and said that the in care would start that night. The way we helped him was to talk to him about Heaven and all the loved ones he would see in heaven. We also told him it was O.K. to let go. I reasured him that everyone would be alright. Sometimes people who are in there last days they will worry about something. Hospice told me to try to find out what he was worried about and tell him that everything was going to be alright. When Hospice came to my house to stay around the clock, he lived only about 24 hrs. They told us when they came that it was only a matter of days but when he got to see all of our family it was like he was at peace and he died about 2 hrs after our parents went home. His breathing was labored and each breath was further apart from the last. The color in his legs and started changing and it slowly went up his body. That is one thing we noticed.
It is important that the your loved one knows that their family and friends are going to be allright and that its O.K. to let go. I told my brother that in Gods time I would be in heaven just sec. behind him. When he died he was at pease and he did not struggle. He just slowly quit breathing. I was holding his hand the entire time. I promised him that I would go through this with him and I would hold his hand through the end. I beleave that he passed away feeling so much love around him. It was very hard for me . It still is but that is how I would want to go If I could choose. I just tryed to think of if it were me what would make it easer for me not to be scared.
I hope this helped some. I do know how hard it is for you when you or someone you love is dealing with the final days of a loved one. If anyone has any questions or just needs someone to talk to please message me. I'm here and it helps me when I can help others.

Stay strong,
Sharon

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 2:22am

Hi Sharon


Thank you so much for dropping in.

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 03-19-2007 - 3:09pm

Prayers adn positive thoughts to you both! I wanted to let you know that my Dad died from lung cancer that spread to his bones and he was in SO much pain. He started with Hospice from the get go and then took himself out of it (the morphine just wasn't cutting into the pain) and went to the emergency room where he got to get help and they set him up for radiation therapy to relieve the pain associated with the tumors and the bones. This gave him so much more quality time! They ended up working it out so that he could stay in hospice and still get radiation. See, the radiation wasn't a way to "prolong" his life, it was a way to make him more comfortable.

 

 

 

      

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 12:01am

((((Hi Sydney)))))

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Thank you for dropping in and sharing.

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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