Scared

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2007
Scared
7
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 1:45pm
I don't know where to start. My sister just had some test done and they found several lumps and lots of fluid. I don't know how to support her in this . We have never been very close. I don't know how to help her. Part of me just wants to stand back. I have never been a selfish person but I don't think I am emotionaly strong enough to help her. I need some advice please. annaj
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2003
In reply to: annaj1260
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 3:41pm

First of all, I'm sorry to hear about your sister. My thoughts & prayers go out to your family and you.

My aunt was diagnosed with Stage II ovarian cancer late last year. It was such a shock to all of us because she had always been so strong. Like you, I didn't know how to react and how I would deal with her going through so much internal and emotional pain.
But you know what, 3mos later, we're all doing well - esp my aunt. You deal with the pain amongst yourselves (I never let my aunt see me cry) and try to be strong for your sick loved one. Be sensitive to their pain and mood swings. I tried to visit my aunt alot more and called her daily. I also brought food that I thought she'd like.
I think what's helped my aunt is just knowing that we are around and that she's not in it alone.

Hope this helps a bit.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
In reply to: annaj1260
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 2:10am
don't stand back..she may be afraid to ask for your help and support. it might even bring you closer. when something like this comes along...it's important to not hold feelings and thoughts back. you might be surprised by what comes of it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2007
In reply to: annaj1260
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 7:13am
Thankyou, it so hard to seperate from old hurts and wounds and wanting to protect myself from the pain I know is coming. Our great grandmother Mary Cartwight died from breatcancer in 1909 when my grandma Effie (maternal)was 6 years old. She never let go of that pain and anger and she past that to our mother and then to us. The results for me ended up being...just stand back, don't talk about it and pretend it's not happening.That's what I have work on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
In reply to: annaj1260
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 9:15am
You're welcome. Stick together as a family even when it's hard. That's what we have done and my mom and I are a lot closer. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: annaj1260
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 12:19am

Hi and welcome to the board.


I am sorry about your sister.

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: annaj1260
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 12:21am

Welcome and thank you for dropping and helping out.

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: annaj1260
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 12:23am

Hi


Thank you for stopping in and posting.


Gentle Hugs


Philly

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Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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