Overwhelmed with Cancer
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| Thu, 03-22-2007 - 10:34am |
Hi, all.
This is my first visit to this board. I'm hoping to maybe find some support here.
I'm completely overwhelmed with the amount of cancer in my life, and sometimes I just don't know what to do.... I'm 21 and a senior in college, working on my degree in psychology.
3 1/2 years ago, my grandpa died from wide-spread cancer of an unknown source (possibly prostate cancer though). 2 years ago, my other grandpa died from lymphoma... I watched both of them struggle against the diseases.
A year ago, my grandma died of breast cancer. My grandma was the most important person in my world. She was everything to me... In some ways like my mom.... She was so much a part of my life... I was with her the last 4 days of her life including when she died... It was so hard to watch her suffer so much... She had been cancer-free for 10 years, and the end came so quickly. They found the cancer in December and she was gone in February.
Two of my aunts have had cancer in the past three years (both, thankfully, are in remission).
Right now, one of my best friends (Scott) has acute lymphocytic leukemia. He's doing okay, considering... Back in October, he got horrible infections and nearly died from septic shock. His kidneys were not functioning, etc, and I was ready for his funeral. He's still undergoing chemo, and he's had a few setbacks/infections since, but altogether, he's doing kind of okay....
Last night, I found out that my mom has thyroid cancer. I know that thyroid cancer is one of the most treatable, but it still scares me.... She has a tumor in her thyroid that is pressing on her vocal cords... That's how grandpa's cancer started too, a tumor in his throat pressing on his vocal cords.... It's just scary... Grandpa's lymphoma was supposed to be curable, but he died four months after he was diagnosed.
Sometimes I just don't know what to do... I miss my grandma every minute of every day. I worry about Scott constantly. I miss my grandpas. I'm tired of watching those I love die such a painful death... I just don't know if I can go through this all again. It's just too much. Too much cancer. Too much disease. Too much pain. Too much uncertainty......




I understand what you're saying, Amy.
HI,
You are not alone. A good friend friend of our was diagnosed with Lung cancer about 2 yrs ago then my maternal aunt was diagnosed with Lung cancer about 1 1/2 years ago, then my mom was diagnosed with bilateral breast cancer last October. Recently another very good friend was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about a month ago and now another materanal aunt was diagnosed with a cancer in her neck, (which I dont have much info on as just found out last night.
I keep thinking "Life's a bitch then you die". But also to feel sorry for myself which is quite selfish. Thinking 4/7 of Mom's family have had cancer. (1 uncle died of lung cancer about 5 years ago). So where does that leave me in the future??
So have been musing on this. I cannot change circumstances for others but can only change my own cirumstances and live life as healthy as I can. I know that my friend with pancreatic cancer may be dead within a year. There are no answers unfortunatly, only time can be a healer if you let it. If you have a faith in God then lean on that. If not then lean on the knowledge that life if life and take it one day at a time knowing each day is precious.
I know how you feel as many of my family and friends have dealt with Cancer.
Hi Amy, I just wanted to send you many hugs and thoughts to get your through all that you are going through! And I send prayers for your loved ones that they may heal and that you may find peace with what you have lost.
My sister and I lost our dad to LUng cancer two years ago. He was only 60. I was 33. But my sister...was only 19! I worried about her SO much. When he was diagnosed she had JUST moved onto campus for college (freshman) and hadn't even started her classes yet. Somehow she managed to consume herself in school to get her through it all. And when he died she did so much better than I thought she would. But I know she struggles and just doesn't outwardly show it.
have you by any chance tried to find a cancer support group for family members? Maybe that would help too.
You know, when reading your post I had one very strong thought in mind....this girl needs to be a cancer advocate! I just sensed that YOU would make a great person to rally for fundraising for cancer research! Like Relay for Life. The Relay for Life events are all going to be starting soon. They can be found everywhere. If you go to the Relay for Life website I bet there are links to certain states/cities that will tell you when events are planned. And you could call and tell them you've had ENOUGH cancer in your life and you want to do something about it.
Anyway hun, I was just thinking you might feel better if you knew you were trying to make a difference so that others would hopefully NOT have to go through watching their loved ones suffer and OTHERS wouldn't HAVE to suffer.
Please take care of yourself. Oh..and my son had Acute Lyphyocytic Leukemia also and he's now 3 1/2 years OFF treatment and doing GREAT! I'll say prayers for your mom and friend!
Sydney