My Mom has pancreatic cancer

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2007
My Mom has pancreatic cancer
10
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 4:53pm
My mom just got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer almost 2 weeks ago. She's having surgery next Friday to remove the tumor. It's a very long surgery, we've been told it will take around 8 hours to complete. I have so many emotions right now. We are extremely close, we talk several times a day every day. I am trying to be so strong for her and my father. I have broke down a couple of times but never in front of her or my father. I am usually fine during the day, my 4 kids keep me pretty busy but at night when everyone's asleep is the hardest. I don't sleep much anymore because I have horrible dreams when I do sleep. I keep telling my mother to be postive and not to give up hope that the surgery will be successful and then when she starts chemo and radiation after the surgery that It will be hard but she can do it. That she's a fighter and that we won't give up. I feel so helpless and I want to help her so much. But I don't know what to do. Any advice what be greatly appreciated.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 06-29-2007 - 8:34pm

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Hello


I am so sorry your family has to go through this.

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2007
Sun, 07-01-2007 - 1:42am

Your Mom's situation sounds scary. But it sounds like she's in good hands.

You don't sound so hot! Please visit your doctor & tell him/her what's going on in your life. Getting a good nights sleep is so important & you're being robbed of that right now... You've got to take care of yourself if you're going to be able to provide support for your Mom and keep up with your kids. A Rx for sleeping medication & an anti-depressant could make a world of difference... You might also want to find out what counseling resources are available to you. Depending on where you live, there are alot of community resources that are very low cost.

I'll look forward to hearing that your Mom's surgery was a great success & that you're
standing on solid ground.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2007
Sat, 07-07-2007 - 1:36am
Thank you for your message, and for the prayers. My mom's surgery was yesterday, but things were not good. As soon as they began surgery my father informed me that the tumor had invaded her blood vessels and that one of her doctors said that she was not a candidate for the surgery. He knew this for over a week and didn't tell myself or my brother. My mom didn't even know this. Her surgeon disagreed and said that he couldn't get a clear picture of what was really going on until he opened her up so they decided to go ahead with the surgery. After about 5 hours of surgery the surgeon called and gave us the really bad news, it had already invaded her stomach and small intestine and the tumor was blocking her bile duct from her liver and several other places. And she was severly jaundice. He did 3 bypasses of her ducts and stitched her back up and told us that we would talk about chemo and/or radation later. And he hasn't said much since. I'm scared that he's not telling us something. She's in ICU and having alot of trouble with her kidneys, blood pressure and tonight her blood count dropped by half. They have given her 2 units of blood and so far it seems to better but she had a small reaction to the blood. She was told everything after the surgery(well, I mean she knows as much as I do at this point) and her spirits seem to be good. I don't talk about it with her I'm just trying to give her all the support I have in me and telling her she needs to rest and focus on getting well and out of ICU and not to think about anything else right now. So far that seems to be working. I just hate that I can't be with her more. My husband and I are not getting much help with our kids from his parents which isn't a surprise they hardley ever help us out but I thought that now, when we really needed them they would step up and be there for us. Boy was I wrong. Well I don't really have the energy to deal with them right now. I can barely deal with my kids right now. That's enough about me right now, I am glad to hear the surgery you had came out well. Are you doing much better since the surgery, is your health OK? I guess I should try to get some sleep now. Thanks again for your message. Look forward to hearing from you again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2007
Sun, 07-08-2007 - 12:09am

My Mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer 12/04. After a million tests and many months she had a Whipple done in 5/05. She never recovered; it was a leap that she wanted to take. She was in and out of hospitals with a variety of infections for over a year/ The biggest problem we encountered was a lack of participation on Mom's part. She was very old fashioned and didn't believe therapies physical, medical, social or psychiatric were real medical practices. She passed 9/23/06 but had not been "home" since April. This disease requires full time nursing care at home or in a hospital...prone to infections...cdiff, staph, ecoli..etc....need for feeding pegs, colostomy bags is part and parcel.

It was horrible...I cannot tell you how painful it was to bear-but I did. Pancreatic cancer is a lethal cancer that destroys the mind along with the body. It also takes care givers to hell and back. I truly understand your pain and can be there for you. Contact me via email and I will give you my phone #s

s.dimonaco@gmail.com

Please, don't hesitate.. the least I am an ear who has survived this awfulness at best I can help you cope.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 4:01pm

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Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2007
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 11:50pm

Dear Mrs,I can feel and relate to what your going thru i feel something is wrong and has been with my mother after Gallbladder removal due to stones my mother looses alot of weight and several months later Doctor tells me she has Celaic Disease.I am totally devasted that only one person plus her primary want to advise her besides us her realtives.My mother is taking Glyconutrients and she feeling better weekly.I still have to make sure she see a gastro Doctor for her Celiac disease,that she never had before surgery.Let me know if you would like your Mother to try Glyconutrients it is totally
natural and good for you.I saw the show 20/20 where aldy had a head tumor the size of a golf ball and after taking Glyconutrients no tumors reappeared.You can email me at ruthq9@yahoo.com please feel free to ask me questions i am sure Glyconutrients can help your mother too and any other relative who is health challenged.

Sincerely,Ruth Quinones

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2007
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 12:37pm

Hi there,
My name is Jacqueline, I was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer when I was 19 (I am currently 23). I had a 5cm tumor on the head of my pancreas. It had been there for 3 years before it was found. I really never had any symptoms until October of 2002. I used to get real painful stomach aches after every meal, to the point that even one bite of anything was enough to cause me pain. I was very healthy until then, I remember that day I literally called my doctor crying in pain for her to see me right away. At first she thought it could be an ulcer, but I never gave up, I had her run test after test after test. I wanted an answer. I had a couple MRI's done, then an ultrasound. It was the ultrasound that revelead a large mass on my pancreas. From there my doctor decided for me to get a CAT scan. I still remember that day, something like that you can never forget... Her exact words were, "Unfortunately you have a tumor and there's no way for us to know if it's benign of not unless we go in." I was very naive, she said it needed to be done ASAP, but I worried about my work. I worked in accounts payable departmenlt for The Leona Group, they run charter schools throughout AZ, MI, IN, and Ohio. I was handling 11 of the AZ schools at the time, and didn't want to leave them without someone covering for me. What I didn't realize is that all this waiting was only making things worst for me. Plus I told my surgeon I wanted to wait until after the holidays, I wish I would have known more about it. I asked my surgeon how long would recovery be, he said 6-9 days. Boy I wish I would have done some research. Turns out I had a Whipple procedure, was in the hospital for 30 days, and still went home with a feeding tube and a catheder for 3 more months. It's a tough recovery. I'm sorry I'm going into so many details, but feel free to reply if you have any questions. But 4 years after surgery i still have many complications, I cannot digest any fat whatsoever, my body doesn't absorb any nutrients or vitamins, so I get vitamin shots twice a month. All this and the medications have brought me more side effects to the point that as much as I want to work, my doctor will not let me, since recently I have been passing out for no reason. I'm not even allowed to drive my car. I wish your mom the best, and please tell her to follow all her doctor's orders, and notify them of anything she feels is not normal, wouldn't want her to end up in my situation for being stubborn. Please give her a lot of support, it's so hard to change your way of living after living your life a certain way. I went through 3 years of depression, but family and friends support always made me feel better. My family has adjusted their way of eating just to not make me feel left out, and it's healthier for them to. Tell your mom I wish her the best, not to worry because everything will get better soon, and I will keep her in my prayers. Good Luck!

Jacqueline

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2007
Mon, 07-23-2007 - 1:29pm
I just wanted to update everyone on how my mom is doing. I also wanted to say thanks for all the prayers and support. Sharon I'll be calling as soon as I get a chance. Well my mom has been having a rough time. She has been unable to eat or drink anything since her surgery and the doctors had to put in a central line to give her nourishment. She's had so many tests and they couldn't find any reason why she was sick all the time. Doctors said we would just have to wait and see if her stomach would start working on its own. Well we think it is now. They removed her NG Tube this morning and if everything goes well then she can start to take in liquids tomorrow. They are removing her drain from her stomach today and her staples. They had to move her central line yesterday because it became infected. She spiked a fever but its better now. Pray that she will continue to grow stronger and be able to keep liquids down. THANK YOU ALL again for your prayers and support. I'll be in touch again soon.
Community Leader
Registered: 09-14-1997
Mon, 07-23-2007 - 2:35pm
Thanks for the update! Keep in touch.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2007
Sat, 07-28-2007 - 9:29pm
I have been thinking about you a lot. I know the struggle you are going through, the fear, uncertainty and lack of control. My thoughts and prayers are with you, your mom and your family. Call me when you need an ear.
Hugs