BF's dad has stage 4 cancer--how to help
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BF's dad has stage 4 cancer--how to help
| Sat, 06-30-2007 - 4:20pm |
Hi,
My bestfriend of 11 years just found out that her dad has stage 4 lung cancer. He's 60, was never a smoker and is perfectly healthy otherwise. I'm just so angry right now and am really worried for my friend. She's extremely close to her dad. She was just told this week that he has 6-9 months to live even though he's on chemo.
She hasn't given up hope and they are doing everything possible to fight this. I just feel so helpless. I know I can't do anything but listen and be "there" for her as much as possible, but does anyone else have suggestions? I know that each family/person deals with this differently, but I welcome any helpful advice.
Thanks!

Although there is always hope, it sounds like the doctors are being straight with your friend. She might want to talk to a hospice rep so she'll know what services are available if they decide to forgo aggressive treatment. Kubler-Ross has written the "Bible" on grieving. Might be useful reading for you & your friend when she's ready... You are in my prayers.
Just be there. Don't start every conversation with How's your Dad? My husband has Stage IV Lung Cancer. I have (had?) two very dear friends that would begin every phone call or visit with "How's Dave?"
Instead of saying "fine" I would tell them, depressing them AND me. It got to the point that I found ways not to call them, because I really didn't want to think about what was ahead of me. I needed to laugh and pretend life was normal for a while. Let your friend vent, but start the conversation about other things, let her bring it up. You'll see after a while that there's not much "good" news with lung cancer, give her other options...the conversation about her dad will come up eventually.
DISCLAIMER: It may just be me, so see what other people have to say. I wish you and your friend the best; be her escape, take her to coffee, make her laugh and be a shoulder when she needs to cry.