Husband diagnosed with liver cancer

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2007
Husband diagnosed with liver cancer
51
Wed, 07-04-2007 - 12:39pm

last week, my husband was diagnosed with liver cancer. It has invaded his portal vein, so there is no treatment. He was given 3-6 months. We are devastated. He is 51 and I'm 47, we've been married for 28 years. I don't know how I will breathe when he is gone. My normal isn't normal anymore. I have a weight on my chest, lump in my throat and I'm on the verge of tears 24/7. I don't know if will always be like this.

Does anyone have info on liver cancer? End stage? All of that. I've done a lot of research, but would love to hear some personal accounts. So glad to find this message board - could really use the support.
-Cathy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2005
Wed, 07-04-2007 - 3:19pm
SO sorry to hear about you husband. My husband's primary cancer was head and neck, it is now in his liver and his bones, he has no treatment options either. His doctors told him 3 to 6 months, it has been a year in half, he is getting worse though. The only thing I know of is a tea called Essiac's. We have used it and I wonder if that has kept him alive longer. My heart goes out to you, I am only 49 and my husband is 49 also. I try not to think about what it will be like when he's gone. I can't even imagine how lonely it will be. I take each day at comes, some are good some aren't. Just try to keep him confortable. We are in the process as getting another opinion from MD Anderson in Texas, that is suppose to one of the best hospitals for cancer in the nation. They will look at his records before making you go there. Once a doctor reviews the records they will call and tell you if they have any treatment options or if they are not interested in seeing him. We are hopeing for some good news. You might want to try them, just go into there web site, you can fill out form and then someone will call with where you can fax the his records. Good luck to you
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 07-04-2007 - 11:49pm

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2007
Sat, 07-07-2007 - 11:04am

Thank you for your kind words and the link. Yes, it is a very hard time. My husband's attitude and outlook are incredible. He is so positive and caring and loving. I fall apart on a regular basis and don't know how I'll breathe once he is gone. We have adult kids and grandkids - and we're very close - so that is a blessing.

I look forward to journaling on this message board - just not sure how to go about it. What is your story?

Blessings,
Cathy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2007
Sat, 07-07-2007 - 11:08am

So you've been going through this for a long time - that must be hard. Are you exhausted? I'm already feeling the fatigue and it's only been a couple of weeks since his diagnosis. There is no treatment for Don because the tumor has invaded his portal vein. The portal vein is like a large artery and because of that - the cancer has already spread to his lymph system and probably other areas of his body. It is all so hard. I don't know how I'll breathe once he's gone.

What state do you live in? I'm in Washington. I am looking forward to making friends on this site - it is soothing somehow to hear the stories of others and know I'm not in this alone. Thanks for your caring reply. Look forward to hearing more from you.

Blessings,
Cathy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2005
Sun, 07-08-2007 - 8:50pm

Hi Cathy,

I live in Ohio. I am always stressed to the maxed. I don't remember what it is like to feel normal. I do get a massage once a week and that seems to help. My doc wanted to put me on antidepressants, I tried them and felt worse on them. I find talking to others in the same situation does help. I just wish I could afford to stay at home with my husband. I don't know how long he has. I sometimes feel guilty going to work, he will look at me and cry. I call him alot through the day. Work had been very supportive, they don't care if I need to leave for his doctors appts or for his chemo, when he did have chemo. Just hang in there, you alot stronger than you think you are. It is a long hard road and people don't understand unless they have been in this horrible situation. We had a very good day today. We live on a lake and boated all day, my husband had a good day. You will learn to take each day at comes, some days are good and some days are horrible. I sometimes wonder on the bad days, is this it? Will he just keep getting worse? Then a couple days will pass, and he feel good. I don't quite understand that. I never think about his death, I will deal with that when the times comes. I want to enjoy all the time I have left with him. I hope this helps!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 3:47pm

Hi Cathy


I started as a community leader on another board as my health from injury started going down.

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2007
Sat, 07-21-2007 - 9:34pm
Hi Cathy: I read your email tonight, and I am in a similar situation. Here in VA. My husband was diagnosed with lung cancer last month, it has spread to spine and liver, so we are just waiting here for information. I am like you; always looking up stuff and trying to "figure it out". But it doesn't figure. I believe in God and I know He has a plan, but I am clueless right now about what it might be. Just know that someone out there is thinking of you and praying for you and your husband. Write back whenever you want. Your friend in the storm, Kathryn
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 12:20pm
My heart breaks for you and the others who have husbands so ill with cancer. There are not adequate words to convey how sorry I am about your situations. Just know that prayers and comforting thoughts are coming your way. Hugs, Lauri

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2007
Tue, 07-31-2007 - 11:06am

Dear Cathy: I am so sorry to hear of your devastating news regarding your husband. Three years ago I was feeling just like you are today. The fear, hopelessness, despair and sadness enveloped me like a cloud. It was all very overwhelming. I couldn't eat, sleep and all the colours in my world turned to grey as I struggled with the diagnosis of my husbands cancer. The thought of being a widow, left to raise my three girls alone loomed before me like an unclimbable mountain.....it's all still very fresh in my mind.
The oncologist didn't give my husband ( Who was 43)a hope of survival and said he would only have about 3-4 months but God had different plans for his life. He is here today, in remission and even though we don't know what the future will bring we are thankful for every moment he still has life in his body.
I don't know if you are a God- believing person....but if it hadn't been for my faith in Jesus Christ I would have collapsed under all of that fear and hopelessness and despair I was feeling.
Please let me share with you the things I did to help myself and my husband thru this time.
1.) We fell to our knees and gave our lives into God's hands. Asking Him to give us strength and peace in the midst of an uncertain future.
2.) I asked close friends to call every friend, relative, neighbor and church in our community to pray for us.
3.) I kept away from negative people
4.) I kept telling myself....I refuse to become angry and bitter ( these negative emotions do nothing to help you in this time.)
5.) Begin to make your relationships right...with God and others ( this is true for your husband too)I've read alot of material on how unforgiveness and bitterness in our hearts can contribute to disease) these negative emotions actually cause physiological changes in our bodies to cause disease and illness. I've read of cases where people who have had cancer have been healed when they forgave and let go of bitterness.)
6.) Eat...even if you don't feel like it
7.) Sleep...take a sleeping pill if you have to ( lack of sleep wears you down so you can't cope)
8.) Surround yourself with people who can help with cooking, cleaning, yardwork. Don't refuse help that people want to give you during this time. Set aside an pride that says I can do this alone.

I hope that these suggestions will help you. I will pray that you will be strong in the midst of the most difficult thing you will ever have to do and that your husband will recieve a miracle....I pray you can recieve this message along with a big , long hug.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2007
Tue, 07-31-2007 - 12:21pm
My dad was diagnosed with liver cancer this past month but has been blessed to live 75 years. I feel your pain as your husband is so young. I have been researching information on liver cancer and can't find much. The doctors just tell me it is not a painful cancer. I have been researching chemoembolization but my dad is 75 and has cirrosis of the liver too. Perhaps your husband could benefit because of his young age. Dana-Farber and Brigham & Womans Hopsital in Boston are the place to go. If anyone can save or extend a life, they can! God bless..

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