Husband diagnosed with liver cancer

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2007
Husband diagnosed with liver cancer
51
Wed, 07-04-2007 - 12:39pm

last week, my husband was diagnosed with liver cancer. It has invaded his portal vein, so there is no treatment. He was given 3-6 months. We are devastated. He is 51 and I'm 47, we've been married for 28 years. I don't know how I will breathe when he is gone. My normal isn't normal anymore. I have a weight on my chest, lump in my throat and I'm on the verge of tears 24/7. I don't know if will always be like this.

Does anyone have info on liver cancer? End stage? All of that. I've done a lot of research, but would love to hear some personal accounts. So glad to find this message board - could really use the support.
-Cathy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2007
Tue, 07-31-2007 - 12:38pm
Dear Cathy...
I was deeply saddened to read your message. In 1995, I lost my precious husband Mason to lung cancer at the age of 51. I was 47 at that time. I,like you, didn't think I could live without his presence. ..just surviving for the first year was the hardest. But through the support of loving friends, family and a grief support group. I made it! I still feel his presence every day and my love has never stopped. I have been happily remarried since 2002. Something that I never anticipated. I also volunteer on the Oncology ward in a major hospital and each day I am reminded how we can only live in the minute. Life is hard, but there is so much love and hope that surrounds you and your beloved.
Your friend,
Sue
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2007
Tue, 07-31-2007 - 2:00pm

So sorry to hear about your husband.

My mother had pancreatic cancer with metasis to the liver. By the time she got the diagnosis, it was very advanced.

It was a challenge to find things she could eat and drink and tolerate. She had never been a coffee drinker, but when she got sick, she had a sudden craving for coffee. I read something on the Web that coffee can help to clear toxins from the liver, so maybe her instincts were right. She couldn't take hot coffee - anything hot turned her stomach. But she could tolerate the iced coffee drinks from Dunkin Donuts, and she loved those.

I had a hard time finding dietary advice on the Web. The advice from the hospice people was that she should eat and drink whatever she wanted, so we were left to our own devices to figure it out as to what she could eat and drink and tolerate.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2007
Tue, 07-31-2007 - 4:34pm

My mother died of liver cancer...her doctor gave her 3 - 6 months. She lived 3 good years. There was no suffering. Toward the end she slept alot. I got other opinions but they were all the same. I think it was much harder on me and the thought of loosing her. The hardest thing in the world is to let go. I convinced myself everyday that she was getting better. But of course it was my hope. I believe in the power of prayer and the will to live. Miracles happen every day. My prayers are with you.

God Bless you both.

Anna

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2007
Tue, 07-31-2007 - 5:01pm
I lost my mother to colon cancer this past February. I cared for her in my home with hospice the last 5 weeks of her life. Unfortunately, caring for someone with cancer (of any kind) is extremely difficult. One...because of your emotional attachment to that person...two...there are alot of things to deal with on a daily basis. A cancer patient will experience many things...some good...some bad. Hospice care was very helpful to me. I tried to go it alone and only last 2 weeks before I realized I needed help in able to properly care for her and to make her last days as comfortable and peaceful as possible. My heart goes out to you. Find comfort in knowing you are not alone...and if you believe in God...lean on Him now! I'm still very sad of course...I will pray for you and your husband.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2007
Tue, 07-31-2007 - 10:28pm
Hi Cathy, I cared for my mother who had kidney, liver and lung cancer. She lived 17 months, the last 3 1/2 with me. I would definitely start hospice care as soon as possible in your home. They were a life saver for me. They will be able to answer many of your questions. Ask for as much help as you can get. Spend as much time as you can with your husband, just being with him. Have people help you with meals when you can get help, have someone to help you with organizing papers and bills so you don't get behind and cause yourself more stress. Contact whatever cancer services there are to assist you with whatever they can do. Your primary focus is sharing these last months with your husband and caring for him. Be in his room as much as you can, just sitting there. Put the computer in his room along with a TV. My mom enjoyed playing games. And when she was in bed she watched TV. I sat at the computer in her room, watching tv also with her, it gave me something to do. We lived in that room. You will never have regrets the more you are with him. So don't worry about the house, cooking, paperwork, bills except to direct others and oversee what others do to help you with these things. You will not be able to do it all and be with him and take care of yourself. I can tell you much more but this will get you started on organizing you new normal. There were many days I didn't know how I was going to do it or live without my mom. You will feel the same. I can say that the nights were tough but the next day would be better than the night before and I could go on for another day. For me I would say, "tomorrow is another day" "it will be better in the morning". The situation is the same but you are able to cope a little more in the morning. Another thing, if you have the money or can get the money, get a full size sleep number adjustable bed instead of a twin size uncomfortable twin size hospital bed. He will need an adjustable bed to be more comfortable and it will allow you to lay down and be with him and give you both a feeling of comfort and closeness. If you want to know more you can reply any time. Take care, I will be thinging and praying for you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2007
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 7:21am
Hi Cathy, I cared for my mother who had kidney, liver and lung cancer. She lived 17 months, the last 3 1/2 with me. I would definitely start hospice care as soon as possible in your home. They were a life saver for me. They will be able to answer many of your questions. Ask for as much help as you can get. Spend as much time as you can with your husband, just being with him. Have people help you with meals when you can get help, have someone to help you with organizing papers and bills so you don't get behind and cause yourself more stress. Contact whatever cancer services there are to assist you with whatever they can do. Your primary focus is sharing these last months with your husband and caring for him. Be in his room as much as you can, just sitting there. Put the computer in his room along with a TV. My mom enjoyed playing games. And when she was in bed she watched TV. I sat at the computer in her room, watching tv also with her, it gave me something to do. We lived in that room. You will never have regrets the more you are with him. So don't worry about the house, cooking, paperwork, bills except to direct others and oversee what others do to help you with these things. You will not be able to do it all and be with him and take care of yourself. I can tell you much more but this will get you started on organizing you new normal. There were many days I didn't know how I was going to do it or live without my mom. I know you feel the same. I can say that the nights were tough but the next day would be better than the night before and I could go on for another day. For me I would say, "tomorrow is another day" "it will be better in the morning". The situation is the same but you are able to cope a little more in the morning. Another thing, if you have the money or can get the money, get a full size sleep number adjustable bed instead of a twin size uncomfortable hospital bed. He will need an adjustable bed to be more comfortable and it will allow you to lay down and be with him and give you both a feeling of comfort and closeness. If you want to know more you can reply any time. Take care, I will be thinking and praying for you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 7:02am

Hi Cathy,

I'm so sorry about your husband. My husband was diagnosed with HCC (primary liver cancer) in March 2006. We were told the same thing that he had 3-6 months to live. My husband also has end stage liver disease from Hep C in addition to liver cancer. Well here we are almost 18 months later and still fighting. The most frustrating thing I've found is that all of his doctors make decisions based on radiology reports. After awhile I noticed that many radiology reports were contradictory as far as number of tumors, size of tumors, and portal vein involvement. Have they said your husband's cancer has spread outside of his liver? Because I can give you some info and tell you what we have done. We have gone to several facilities in the hopes of being down staged to qualify for transplant, but after all that, we were told straight out that they don't give anyone with cancer a new liver because there are not enough livers to waste one on someone whose cancer may return. That is unacceptable to me. I found a research study sponsored by the Nat'l Institute of Health that is looking for candidates that have liver cancer for adult-to-adult living donor transplant. Here is a bit from the web page and the link with info on the 7 hospitals participating in the study.

"There are two principal purposes of this study: 1) to determine whether it is more beneficial for a liver transplant recipient candidate to pursue a living donor liver transplant (LDLT) or wait for a deceased donor liver transplant (DDLT), and 2) to study the impact of liver donation on the donor's health and quality of life.

Condition:

Cirrhosis
Hepatitis C
Hepatocellular Carcinoma"


http://clinicaltrials.gov/ct/show/NCT00096733?order=94

I called and spoke to a wonderful woman who is head of the research dept at Virginia Commonwealth University Hospital, Richmond, Virginia. She had me send all of my husband's records and now we have an appointment there next week for evaluation to qualify for the study and a transplant!!

Also 1 of the other treatments my husband had that worked great for slowing the growth of tumors is call Therasphere. He received 2 of these treatments at Mayo Clinic.
http://www.mayoclinic.org/liver-cancer/ http://www.mds.nordion.com/therasphere/default.asp

I don't know where you live, but it's worth a try to call one of the research hospitals. The contact numbers are on the web page I gave you.
Hope this helps. I will keep you in my prayers. If you need any more info, let me know.

Good Luck!!

Donna

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2007
Fri, 10-26-2007 - 5:01pm
My40 year old husband was diagnosed 5 months ago with advanced bowel cancer - median life expectancy 2 years.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2007
Sat, 10-27-2007 - 1:16am

Thank-you so much for your letter.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2007
Mon, 10-29-2007 - 7:21am

Thank you for replying to my message which was posted fairly late at night in a pretty desperate state of mind.