Dad losing fight
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| Fri, 08-03-2007 - 9:48pm |
My dad is starting to lose his battle with colon cancer. He was diagnosed December of 2005, and is currently undergoing his third round of chemo. The cancer has spread to his lungs and liver. My mom just told me today that if his tests the end of this month don't show an improvement, they are going to stop treatment and just let the cancer run its course. He did well the first year of the disease, but there has definitely been a downward trend in his health and his general day to day quality of life.
I have really had a hard time dealing with this. My brother has been in Iraq for almost a year, and I have had two grand parents die this year. And just last week my boyfriend told me that he thinks I have changed as a person and hates that I am angry and sad most of the time. I feel so stressed out...I just don't know what to do.
It makes me so sad to think that my dad won't be there to walk me down the aisle or be around for my children. And now I feel that the end is right around the corner. I don't understand how they just give up. I don't understand how if something doesn't work, they don't try harder or try something different.
How do I deal with this? I'm not ready to lose my dad!

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I went thru a similar situation—dad’s cancer; unsupportive boyfriend…and my heart goes out to you.
I went through my dad’s cancer and it is hard when the first “super heroe” in your life suddenly…isn’t. And you realize they are human. My dad did the same thing. The chemo wasn’t working and he began to feel that the treatments (which did a number on him physically) were worse than dying. I, too, hated his choice when he told me. But his life choice was out of my control so I had to learn to accept it. I did this by surrounding myself with people I could lean on so my dad, in turn, could lean on me. I went to grief and hospice counseling—a cliché, but it helped. I talked to people who had also lost parents. And I gave myself time—there is no cookbook amount of time to deal with this. You need to find peace on your own timetable, however long that takes you.
A person’s true character comes through during hard times. It’s easy to be wonderful during happy times. No offense, but your boyfriend does NOT sound very supportive. Of COURSE you are stressed and angry! Look at what you’ve been through!!! You need his HELP not his criticism. If he doesn’t shape up, dump his *ss. (That’s what I did). You need and deserve better than this, especially now.
There is a new experimental Chemo treatment for colo-rectal cancer patients who aren't responding to traditional treatment.
Hello
I am so sorry for the loss of your Mother.
Thank you for dropping in and helping out.
I am so glad you went to grief counseling.
Hello...
Hi Jodie
So sorry your Mom has to face this again.
Hi - I know you were posting to the orginal poster, but our family also has the same situation.
Thank you soooo much for the reply.
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