BF with Stage 4 breast cancer

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2004
BF with Stage 4 breast cancer
2
Thu, 08-09-2007 - 12:05pm

About three weeks ago my friend found a lump. She didn't go to the doctor. The nipple inverted. She went to the doctor. They immediately, that day, did a biopsy. Four days later they did a mastectomy and took out lymph nodes. They removed 19 lymph nodes. They found that 16 were cancerous. They started doing all sorts of scans and tests to find everything and on Friday of last week, they told her everything. The cancer is in her liver, bones, lymph nodes on the chest wall. They can treat her but not cure her and the average survival is 2-3 years.

She gets her chemo port put in today.

I don't know what to expect. How is chemo going to affect her? So far she has really wanted me to visit and sometimes I think its not good for her because I see her getting tired and she still doesn't want me to leave. I'm worried about whether and how often I should visit? I have two toddlers, should I not visit so she doesn't have germ risks? I'm figuring that if I antibacterial up it should be ok, but I would just lose it if I made her feel worse by bringing something over to her house. I'm worried about how chemo will affect her mental perspective too. Should I ask her how she is doing or should I just try to joke and keep her upbeat? The doctors have said she would need chemo the rest of her life. If the chemo is awful...

I'm just scared and I feel so helpless. It feels like there should be something I can do and I am just not doing it. I don't know. I guess I'm just hoping someone can relate.

Cathy

Avatar for lauriw4
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 08-09-2007 - 2:40pm
Cathy, I am so sorry about your friend. The prognosis is certainly not good. Take your cues from your friend and let her set the limits of how much time she wants with you and when. Come on over to the Breast Cancer Support Board where several of our members who have been through chemo can address some of your questions. Sending positive thoughts for your friend, Lauri (breast cancer survivor since 1996)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 1:11am

Hello Cathy


I am so sorry your friend has to go through this.

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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