I'd like to talk about my mom.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
I'd like to talk about my mom.....
8
Sun, 08-12-2007 - 1:29pm

My mother's cancer diagnosis is very new, and sadly, the cancer is so advanced, she has opted not to treat it.

My mom was sick for months (if not longer) and she refused to go to the doctor. After she had lost 25 lbs, could hardly walk because of hip pain, could barely make it up he steps because of shortness of breath, had a hoarse voice for two months, felt a lump in her throat and rib, and was coughing up bloody phlegm, we finally dragged her to the doctor. She didn't want to go, but I told her she needed to so she could go out on short-term disability at work so she would continue to get paid.

So....we went to the doctor. She had a CAT scan. They found tumors everywhere. My mom has been a smoker for 40+ years. They found numerous tumors in her lungs, sinus, chest, several tumors in her neck, and in her adrenal gland. She also has palpable tumors on her ribs. She has opted for Hospice care.

As of this point, she is barely able to swallow. She can no longer eat solid food, but she can drink fluids. I can't imagine how long she can go on like this. The doctor and Hospice said they can't give a specific timeframe.

I feel very sad, but I just want to maximize the amount of quality time I have with my mom until then end. That, and keeping her as comfortable as possible are my two main goals. Thanks for listening.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 1:20am

Hello


I am so sorry your mom is so very ill.

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 9:28am
I know how hard this time is for you and your family I am currently going thru the same thing with my mom, who was diagnosed with cervical cancer in Oct 2006. We have been thru the sugeries, chemo, and radation with her. The last 2 weeks since finding out that the cancer is back for the 3rd time, and this time it is not cureable has been hell for me but I keep thinking that her extreme pain is almost over. Take as may hugs and kisses as you can each day. It sounds like you mom has been a strong hard worker and this may be hard for her to give up all her dependance to this horriable illiness. So we must be strong for our mom's. You and your family are in my prayers.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2007
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 11:20am
I'm so sorry about what you and your family are going through.
My husband suffered for over a year going to 3 different doctors before they finally diagnosed his stage 4 cancer.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2007
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 9:35pm
Hello, my heart and prayers go out to you and your mom and also your family. MY MOM, ABOUT A MONTH AGO, FOUND OUT SHE HAD AN AGGRESSIVE BREAST CANCER, IBC-OR INFLAMMATORY BREAST CANCER, WHICH IS A FAST GROWING CANCER. 14 OF HER 18 LYMPHNODES HAD CANCER, SHE HAD BOTH BREASTS REMOVED. SHE IS 78, SHE IS FINALLY BEING ABLE TO SIT UP FOR SEVERAL HOURS A DAY. WE ALSO BELIEVE IN PRAYER, AND THAT AND THE FAMILY STICKING TOGETHER AND HELPING IS WHAT HAS GOTTEN MY PARENTS TO WHERE THEY ARE TODAY. NOW I KNOW THAT EVERYONE DOES NOT BELIEVE IN PRAYER, OR THE FACT THAT IF GOD MADE THIS BODY, HE CAN ALSO HEAL, THIS BODY, WHY DOESN'T IT ALWAYS HAPPEN FOR EVERYONE, THAT ANSWER I REALLY DON'T KNOW, I PERSONALLY BELIEVE, THAT WE ALL HAVE OUR TRIALS, AND IT CAN MAKE US STRONGER, OR BITTER. I WOULD MUCH RATHER BE STRONGER, NOT SAYING YOU ARE BITTER, I HAVEN'T GOTTEN THAT FROM WHAT YOU HAVE SAID, ONLY THAT YOU ARE A VERY CARING PERSON, IN WHICH THE QUALITY TIME, AND HELPING HER IS WHAT IS IN YOUR HEART. HOSPICE IS A GOOD THING, THEY CAN HELP THE FAMILY, WE HAVE A NURSE COMING IN ABOUT 2 TIMES A WEEK, MY DAD IS VERY TIRED, WE GO AND HELP AS MUCH AS WHAT THEY WILL ALLOW, I SAY THAT BECAUSE HE HAS TOLD GOD, THAT AS LONG AS HE HAS BREATH, HE WILL TAKE CARE OF HER, BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, WE WANT HIM AROUND FOR A GREAT WHILE AS WELL. SO WHEN FAMILY HAS ISSUES OF HEALTH COME IN IT, THERE IS ALWAYS ALOT THAT PLAYS IN THE WHOLE REALM OF IT. IF YOU ARE A PERSON THAT WILL, LET GOD HELP YOU AND BE YOUR STRENGTH, HOPEFULLY YOUR MOM WILL FIND PEACE WITH HIM, IF SHE HASN'T ALREADY. NOT MEANT TO BE A PREACHY MESSAGE BACK, JUST HOPING TO BE ABLE TO ENCOURAGE YOU SOME. THAT IS THE ONLY WAY I KNOW HOW, THE ONLY WAY THAT WORKS FOR ME.
GOD BLESS YOU
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2007
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 2:41pm
my heart goes out to you...we are in fl. iwas in phila...our mom also had cancer when we lived up north...she had it all through her....mayo clinic is a good place for your mom..it is driving to jacksonville fl...they help...write back if you want to...
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sun, 09-02-2007 - 6:39pm

Thank you all for your kind words and support. Although my mom is starting to fail a little more each day, she's still here. We thought she wouldn't last a week, but she's been hanging on for almost a month.

Again, I appreciate your thoughts and will continue to check in.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 09-03-2007 - 9:42pm

Thank you for checking back in and updating on your Mom's condition.

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2007
Sat, 09-29-2007 - 2:04pm

I have watched two people very dear to me suffer with cancer. The first was my friend Sharon. For a number of years she battled breast cancer. Then a particularly agressive tumor took root in her breast. She had a single mastectomy and got rid of the first type. Then it appeared in the second. At that point she removed the second breast and also chose to have a total hysterectomy as well. Things went well for awhile when she started to have visual changes. The cancer had returned in her brain. She took medications to combat it when they found that the tumors were spreading. She fought the most agressive for about three months and then passed on. During that time she spent time with the many friends and families that her wondrous life had touched. We actually got to talk with

Patty T. NU'1982

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