My BF has Lung Cancer

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2007
My BF has Lung Cancer
17
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 6:11pm

Last week my 36 yr old bf has been diagnosed with lung cancer.

He said that up to now its only confined to lung and no further tests can be done to see if its more than that. He started chemo yest and as you can imagine he's suffering a lot even though he's pretty fit.

I am pretty confident that he will fight this although not sure as doc didn't tell us at what stage his cancer is in, but was told my a friend that if there was no hope of cure chemo wouldn't have started in the 1st place.

What I am most concerned about is the fact that my parents are discouraging me about whole situation for following reasons:

1. saying that i am not a nurse and shouldn't act as a hero and try and take care of him in such a serious situation.

2. that during 1st 3 months our relationship was a bit rocky as he wasn't that commmitted...so i had broken up with him&he wanted to get back with me...we spoke and he then started to be more affectionate etc (that's BEFORE he was sick)

looking at it positively i think that this situation brought us even closer and we both agreed that we're falling for each other big time (we've been dating for 6 mths so big challenge to handle lung cancer at such an early stage in relationship)

would any of you think i'm mad to go ahead with this and be there for him no matter what the outcome is?

i sincerely believe that if he manages to survive our relationship will continue to improve as he'll probably be taking life much more seriously.

i am so sad about my parents reaction when friends and colleagues are being so supportive.

jesse

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2007
Sun, 12-16-2007 - 2:46pm

Hi Philly,


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 12-16-2007 - 8:14pm

Hi


I am so glad you will be spending the holidays with family and not alone.

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2007
Wed, 12-19-2007 - 5:13pm

h that's so nice...sometimes i feel ok but sometimes i feel that i cannot live another day without him - tyring so hard to move on and put the past behind me but its not that easy.


his best friend just got engaged - was v.happy for him but said at the same time as i knew that my late boyfriend would have loved to celebrate this occasion and eventually go to his wedding.


i think i will always call him 'my late boyfriend' and never an ex even if i have other boyfriends - after all he's not an ex so i don't think anyone can say anything about that.


will you be spending christmas with family too ?


i really admire the way you raised up your children - my parents are roughly same age as you and they also brought us up well.


jesse

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2008
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 1:00pm

Hi Jesse!



First off....a big HUGE HUG to you and you bf.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2007
Sun, 01-27-2008 - 6:48am

hello there,


sorry for late reply but i dont check email attached to this site everyday.


I am really really sorry to hear about your bf's illness - unfortunately my boyfriend passed away last october (thought i wrote this on the site but not sure now)and i stuck to him till his last days - would have never had the courage to leave him as i realised how much i loved him even though we were only together for 8 months.


the 1st thing he had said to me after breaking the news about the cancer was 'you can get rid of me if you like' so i am sure your boyfriend thinks about this even if he never tells you. so my advice to you is same advice you gave me - stick around if you really love him as you will feel too guilty and still won't have a happy life if you just leave him as you will be constantly thinking about him - at least thats what i think i would have felt if my bf had lived and i would have left him.


i really hope that

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 01-27-2008 - 11:49pm

((((((((((((((((((((((((((Hugs going out to Jesse)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


I am so glad you dropped in.

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2007
Tue, 01-29-2008 - 6:45pm

thanks for the lovely email!


hope you are keeping well

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