Where is the mercy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Where is the mercy?
18
Sun, 09-09-2007 - 8:40am

My sister, the Hospice nurse and I finally convinced my mother to go to the Hospice facility when she could no longer get out of bed (my mom has stage IV esophageal cancer that has spread everywhere you can image).

Each day, she's getting worse. She weighs about 85 lbs now (she's 5'9"), struggles to draw breath all day long, has not eaten solid food in over a month (I kid you not, it's been 39 days). It's horrible to witness. If it's that bad to watch, how hard must it be to live like that? Hospice is doing everything they possibly can to help her and keep her comfortable, but unfortunately, because of her awful breathing issues, it's very hard to manage her symptoms.

Now, I'm not a religious person, but I finally broke down the other day and prayed. Actually, I asked God a question. "God, where is your mercy?" When I realized I wasn't about to get an answer right then, I just flat out asked for mercy for my mom!

It is so hard to watch this level of suffering.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 09-09-2007 - 11:49pm

(((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))))


Oh, I do know ...........I saw my Mom and I believe I may have uttered similar words towards the end.

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sun, 09-23-2007 - 4:20pm

Well, the mercy finally came. Mom died last Sunday, 09/16/07 at 4:30 PM. My sister and I were with her the whole time. Her final 24 hours were very difficult. I hope she has found the peace, comfort, and happiness she deserves.


We love you, mom, and will miss you always.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 09-23-2007 - 5:23pm
I don't know what else to say except..I am so sorry
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 09-24-2007 - 7:19pm

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I am so sorry for the loss of your


Mother.


I am glad you both could be with her


in the last moments.


I know it is truly so very difficult right now and I


hope that your life soon finds sunshine again.


Thank you for coming to the board


and informing us of your loss.

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2007
Wed, 09-26-2007 - 1:38pm

I am so very sorry to hear about your mum and all the suffering that she is going through, and all the pain that you are going through, having to watch your mum suffer in this way, even thoughthe hospice is doing all it can to help with the pain control, it must be so very difficult, and at times hard to watch.


I have just lost my lovely mum to cancer 12 days ago, it was very sudden and unexpected, as mum had gone into hospital for tests on her liver because she had a swollen tummy, and just generally did not feel herself, and was a little tired, but had no pain.She was only in hospital 2 weeks and after x-ray's , ct scan, a liver biopsy was going to be done but mum's bp was low and was deemed too risky due to a bleed that may have happened, the doctor's broke the news to my mum and dad that mum had a broncheogenic carcinoma of the left upper lobe that had metastatic disease to the liver, and a hospice and pallitive care was recommended.


Mum dies that night some 11 hours after the news was given, with all the family around her , except me as i was away on holiday, abroad with a friend, and i did not want to go as mum was taken into hospital the week prior to me going on holiday, but both her and my dad wanted me to have this holiday, and it breaks my heart that i was not there for mum, but its what she wanted.I hope that one day i will get the answer from mum as to why it happened the way it did.


Even though it is heartbreaking to watch your lovely mum suffer in the way that she is, treasure if you can this time, as i was declined this by my mum, and there is a hollow in my heart, as the rest of us, dad included, in coming to terms with this loss.


Please accept my heart felt sympathy to you and all your family in this very upsetting time, that you are going through.....jo x

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2007
Wed, 09-26-2007 - 7:37pm
The same question you ask is what my daughter asks me every day, and every day I can only tell her I don't believe this is something God does to her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 09-27-2007 - 2:47am

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I am so sorry for your loss jo.

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 09-27-2007 - 2:51am

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Thank you for dropping in and sending your positive energy.

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2007
Thu, 09-27-2007 - 10:15pm

I was so happy to receive your reply!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 09-27-2007 - 11:20pm

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Hello


I am so glad you are going to love the site!!!Member Icon

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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