Mom just diagnosed
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| Tue, 10-02-2007 - 4:12pm |
Hi All. I'm 27 years old. I learned on Saturday that my Mom has lymphoma. Its in 3 lymph nodes in her neck. PET scan showed it no where else. She's at the doctor right now with my Dad finding out the results of the partial removal of one of the nodes. Its Stage I. I know her prognosis is pretty good. But I'm scared out of my mind. My stomach hurts, I haven't slept in days. One second I'm ok and the next second I feel like I can't do this. My mother is my world, my best friend. She's everything to me. I almost couldn't even look at her when she told me, and for some reason all I wanted to do was to be away from her? I thought that I was going over to her house on Saturday to go shopping, and I walked in the door to find that she had just had one of her lymph nodes removed the day before. What is wrong with me. Why am I taking this so hard. Her and my Dad are fine, they are acting like its not a big deal at all, sayign that probably all that will happen is 6 weeks of radiation and then this will all be over. What if it comes back? How will I not be scared every second of my life from now on that its going to come back? Every time she coughs or doesnt feel well I will be scared, what if its back. Or what if what she has now doesn't go away? I can't get it together and I know that I have to be positive around her. Shes 59 and healthy. No symptoms, doesn't feel sick or anything. Its my worst nightmare come true. I don't think I could live without her. I can't concentrate on anything. Dad keeps saying, "this is not a death sentence, its highly treatable". But my world fell apart Saturday afternoon. Do these feelings go away? Will I feel better ever? How come I can't just be thankful that its only stage 1 and so many other people get worse diagnosis every day. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. Please help.
Very Scared.

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Your post makes me cry, there is nothing wrong with
Hi there.
I can TOTALLY relate to what you're going through. My mother, too, was recently diagnosed with cancer...breast cancer. She is 55, and has been healthy up to this point. When I first heard the news, I was so upset, I couldn't even think straight. It has been my strong faith in GOD that has gotten me through the past three weeks. She just had her surgery and now we have to wait to find out what stage her cancer is and what her exact treatment plan will be. It will definitely involve radiation and chemo. Your mother is very blessed that her cancer is early stage and that the doctors say that it is highly treatable.
I have the same fears that you have...especially the "what if it comes back" fears. All I can tell you is to have faith that she will be ok. Feed off of her faith and good feelings about her prognosis. It's wonderful that she has both you and your father in her corner...being a solid support system for her is what she really needs. I wish that my mother had a husband who could be there for her, as she and I don't live together and she lives alone. It helps so much more when you have someone constantly there with you during a time like this. It would be good for you to maybe find a support group for loved ones of family members with cancer or to maybe even consider talking to a therapist. I plan to do both. I'm not married and I don't have children, so I'm kind of dealing with this alone. It's going to help me to find people who I can relate to.
I wish your mother great health and a speedy recovery. I truly believe that our mothers can beat this and join the millions of people in the world who are now CANCER SURVIVORS.
Malika
Edited 10/3/2007 9:17 pm ET by rivegauche79
((((((((((hopeful50)
Welcome.
Welcome to the board Malika
(((((((((Hugs)))))))))))
I know exactly how you feel.
Hopeful50, I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma in March of this year. We had just lost my dad to colon cancer, and here I was having to tell my whole family, who had just been through a cancer drama, that now, I had the disease that killed my dad "CANCER". What type of Lymphoma does your mom have? It is not a death sentence, your dad was right. I am being treated by doctors at M. D. Anderson. I had to have chemo, and lost my hair. My kids were scared too, but be positive, I didn't want anyone to feel sorry for me, or think negatively and cry. There is waay too many good treatments out there for cancer today, and you can't compare any two cancers, to each other. All the chemo drugs are different. I took CHOP for mine. It's like 4 different chemo drugs together. It wasn't bad at all, I was very lucky. I don't know how religious you are, but that made a difference to our family. We have soo many people praying for me. You hang in there, and be supportive, your mom will be fine!! Good luck to you, Mombutterfly04
I want you to know, just make sure you tell your mom, that if she doesn't feel comfortable with her doctor, don't be afraid to get a new one. I feel soo badly, that I couldn't convince my dad to go to another one. She was one of the coldest doctors I have ever met. He was diagnosed with liver cancer back home in Louisiana, and when Katrina hit, both he and my mom moved in with us in Texas. We thought this doctor was going to be good for him, but after a few visits, I knew she wasn't. He was soo down after losing their home, I could not convince him to go to another doctor. I am soo glad that the doctors I have found, are just what I envision a cancer doctor to be, compassionate and caring. It makes all the difference in the world. His colon cancer had spread to his liver, when that happens, it gets alot more serious to treat. Everyone reacts to the chemo differently. Take care of your mom, and try not to show how scared you are. Always be positive in front of her, and reassure her that everything will be fine. When I was diagnosed with Lymphoma, 3 months after my dad died, I was determined not to let this cancer rule my world. I was going to beat it. No negativity, I didn't want anyone in my family to react negatively about it. The lucky thing for me was, I was being treated for depression years before my cancer diagnosis, and that helped me soo much. Keep an eye on her, if she seems to be depressed, get her help for that, so she can fight this disease, keep her positive and happy! Good luck to your family, Mombutterfly04
Welcome to the board and thank you for dropping in with words of encouragement.
Well girl, I have walked down some of the same halls you have.
First I want to thank everyone who responded.
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