so stressed out
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| Mon, 11-26-2007 - 4:32pm |
why does this have to be so darn stressful. i feel like sometimes i cannot controll myself, whether its yelling at dh or at the kids or stuffing food in my face, i feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders!
i try so hard to deal with what my dads going through and now with what my mom is going through, its like i put on such a good front, but then when i am alone in the house with just dh and the kids, i turn into this awful horrible person. i dont want to do that anymore, i need to find other outlets for all this anger and resentment. yes resentment toward God, is that awful to say? to be so angry at him for making both of my parents sick?
i already sat and watched my dad on the brink of death, but he beat his leukemia, and now i am watching my mom in her own battle. its so unfair! and my dad, he is loosing his mind, not literally, but with his own sickness and then the stress of my mom....he is throwing aways important papers not realizing it, he gave her the wrong medicine at the wrong time. and my mom...she is on oxycotin for the pain and she is saying the most wild and crazy things! talking about potty training and school closings, i mean the weirdest stuff.
my life has taken this left hand turn that I just didnt ask for! my mom has an appt with another surgeon on thursday and we are all so stressed out about it, about what he is going to say, suggest, want to do or maybe not be able to do?!?!?!
and my brother, who was fighting in Iraq came home on a family emergency, will finally be here in michigan tomorrow night and i know my parents cannot wait to see him, me either! i am so glad that he is going to be here, maybe just maybe to hold some of the responsibility for a little while when he is here (he lives in FL), is that bad to say?
UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!













Sending you a big hug kristynt.
Emotions can really get the best of you when you are dealing with this disease with a loved one.
I had times when the littlest of things would just really upset me and I would get angry .. angry at the dogs, angry at the cats, angry at my poor little mother for things she has no control over.. and even angry at my precious husband as he called my name for the umpteenth time that day.
May Angels Watch Over You For Me
My website of my some of the poems I have written:
http://www.geocities.com/gailbird33/<
Kristyn, I really feel for you.
Hi Kristy,
I bet some of us are wishing we could be there in real life to help you through some of this. Unfortunately that can't happen.
(((((((((((((kRISTY)))))))))))))))
Oh so much to handle.