Too Much to Handle...I can't do this
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| Wed, 12-05-2007 - 11:21pm |
Hi, I am new to this board. I don't know where to turn. My life is crashing in around me. I am 27, have a beautiful 13 month old daughter and my 28 year old husband has just been diagnosed with a pancreatic neuroendocrine tumor. He was diagnosed with Cushing's Syndrome about one month ago and that began the search for the tumor. A Cushing's related tumor in the pancreas is so rare (about one in a million) and to make matters worse, the tumor is being compressed by several major blood vessels, including the portal vein. We're meeting with docs at MD Anderson and Oschner in New Orleans next week. We've already had one surgeon tell us it's too risky to operate due to the blood vessels.
I feel like I am barely holding on. I have no idea how to handle any of this. I am scared out of my mind. We are so young. I'm scared for my baby girl. I just want to protect her from all of the changes that are occurring in our house. Next week, we'll be away from her for three days and my heart is aching at the thought of being away from her. I realize that in the long run, she will not remember us being away, but I've seen subtle changes in her over the last few weeks. I haven't been home much due to all the doc appts we've had. My mom has been so great to take care of her, but it's just not the same. I am used to being her primary care giver.
I feel like I am being pulled in two different directions with no right answer. I want to take care of my daughter and protect her from all the bad things that are happening to her daddy. I want to be there for my husband for every moment of this journey. I have no clue what I am doing. How did we get to this point? I find myself crying randomly and at the worst possible moments, i.e., on the phone with the repair man!
I'd love to hear other stories of people trying to manage children and be a supportive spouse. I love my husband with all of my heart and the thought of loosing him makes it hard for me to breathe. Thanks for listening. I hope someday I can be of some help to some of you out there.

My heart aches for you and your family.
{{hugs}} there really
Hello and welcome.
First you must be near me, as I was treated at MD.