help, it's my daughter
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help, it's my daughter
| Tue, 03-25-2008 - 9:09am |
My daughter was just diagnosed with tumors in her lungs and abdomen yesterday. It started from what is called a molar pregnancy but has done the worst and spread to other parts of her body. We found out because she fainted at work yesterday. They said it is very aggressive and fast growing. They admitted her last night and she has to start Chemotherapy in the morning. She is going to lose all of her beautiful long hair, but the fear of worse is what is not letting me sleep. How do I help her when I am a mess as well. What do you do when there is nothing that can make her feel better? I feel like I'm in a nightmare and I'm going to wake up and it won't be true. Can someone help me? AHHHHH

Welcome to the board.
It is really hard to watch one of your own children go through something like this.
I was diagnosed 1 year ago with non-Hodgkins lymphoma and my mom is an oncology nurse. I imagine my diagnosis must have been even harder on her because of what she sees everyday. However, her knowledge was my biggest asset when I was first diagnosed and throughout my chemo treatments.
I agree with Maggie's advice to you - just be there for your daughter. Go to chemo appointments, clean her house, make dinner, etc. My parents drove me to my chemo appointments and my brother drove me many times to the doctor's office when I didn't have the strength to drive myself. I was exhausted a lot and having someone clean my house or do laundry would have been a great help. Friends and neighbors brought over meals or took me out for ice cream (since I lost so much weight - I could enjoy ice cream!) My brother also brought over movies for me since I was home for 5 months. I also had magazines and books, but I admit I couldn't always concentrate because I was so tired. Since she has a child, I would also suggest watching him or her so your daughter can rest. You can also offer to do the grocery shopping or go with her if she does get tired. I would also recommend just taking her out to eat on the days she feels well. I can't tell you how it made me feel just to get out of the house and be with people (like my parents) and just have a normal, non-cancer conversation. Laugh with her, cry with her, but just be there for her. When we get sick, no matter how old we are, we still want our Mommies.
Good luck and I'm hoping for the best for your daughter.
Hi. My heart goes out to you....... I am a cancer survivour