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| Sat, 05-24-2008 - 2:20pm |
Hi everyone. My name is Nicole and I can usually be found on the October 05 Precious Pumpkins board. Well my mom was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, and is scheduled for a lumpectomy this coming Friday, the 30th. Her doctors are very confident we caught it in time, but I'm still very scared. We lost my aunt, my mom's twin sister, 6 years ago and I cant help but think about that, when I think of my mom's battle.
I was fine he moment we got the news, which was May 15th, up until I would say Thursday of this week. I was talking to a friend about something totally unrelated and just felt the tears falling down my cheek. and since then I haven't really slept, and I feel so drained and so emotional. I woke up twice last night from a deep sleep crying, i don't know what I was dreaming about but I couldn't stop crying. My mom is a very emotional person, she is not the type to be able to do things on her own without someone holding her hand, so I know I need to be strong for her, but the way I feel right now I don't know if I can. I don't know where to grab the strength from. My mother is my Best Friend. my parents split up when I was 9 and when i was 17 I had a baby, and my older brother moved out. I lived with my mother on and off up until 3 yrs ago. But only moved 3 towns over, we see each other at least twice a week, and talk on the phone everyday. I just can't imagine my world without her, or even suffering physically or emotional and not being able to fix it. I have always fixed everything for her, but this I cant. And to add to that stress, my mother is a recovering alcoholic, 10 yrs sober, and I am so scared this will throw her off the wagon full force.
She has decided to do the Mammosite radiation instead of the traditional radiation, and again this worries me too, since it's only been around since 1998, and only approved by the fda in 02'. He doctors assure us that the results over the past 6 yrs have been the same as the traditional radiation over 25 yrs. Has anyone ever opted for this type of radiation or know anyone who has?? The doctors gave us a bunch of things to read but it would be nice to talk to someone who has used it.
Well i guess right now I'm just looking for people in my situation to talk to. for advice and support..My family is very supportive,as much as they can be, my husband is great but he's also not too comforting at the same time. We went through this with his mom last year, she had thyroid cancer. But even then he didn't show much emotion about it. He's the typical macho man...lol....
Well I look forward to meeting everyone. Thanks for listening...
Edited 5/24/2008 2:38 pm ET by nslohoda

Welcome to the board, Nicole.