So Angry
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| Sun, 06-08-2008 - 7:46am |
My mom was just diagnosed with lung cancer. At this point we don't know the extent of it, biopsy is on Tuesday but the PET scan showed "activity" around the tumor, in the lymph, and the adrenal glands.
Along with being terrified and devastated, I am absolutely furious...at the disease, at the smoking industry, and most of all at her. I can't believe she put herself at such risk, smoking for 45 years..can't believe she never went to the doctor even though she *LIED* and said that she did and that her chest x-ray was clear. I can't believe she didn't care enough about herself, about her family, to take care of her health.
I don't know what the h**l to do with these emotions because I can't be mad at her, she's the patient, she's the victim, she is hurting enough. So I'm lashing out, displaced anger at everyone and everything else. And I feel guilty for the anger, and for not being a good enough daughter, not dragging her to the doctor.
Is this normal? Can anyone help me make sense of this? I just don't know what to do, where to go from here.

Welcome to the board.
Maggie,
Thank you so much for your warm welcome and kind words. I am going to take your suggestions to heart, will definitely be back to the boards. I so appreciate the support.