My best friend's husband just diagnosed

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2008
My best friend's husband just diagnosed
3
Sat, 06-28-2008 - 12:23am
My best friend's husband has just been diagnosed with stage III lung cancer. What can I do to help her get through what is most likely going to be losing her husband 40+ years? They live in FL and I'm in CO. We researched everything together online and spoke or emailed daily while they were awaiting the diagnosis, but now that it's here, she's overwhelmed and has said that she doesn't want to talk about it just yet. I know she and he have a lot to deal with and both of their families are in FL, so there must be a lot going on. I want to respect her wishes and not add any more pressure. I'm concerned about what to do or not do when she does want to talk, though. If there are things that one should absolutely not say, I'd like to avoid saying them. Sometimes good intentions don't sound the way they were intended. Suggestions? Thanks.
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Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Sat, 06-28-2008 - 8:09am

I lost my mom to uterine cancer....

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2008
Sat, 06-28-2008 - 9:42am
Thank you Cheryl. You said what I wanted someone to say. Cynthia just emailed so we're back in touch. We both understand that she can't talk to or write anyone, even those she loves, right now. We're still in sync. Whew. I appreciate what you said about only those who are going through or have gone through a particular experience can truly understand. That's very true. Only if one has lost their mother, as I did, can they understand the experience. They do care but only sort of get it. You said it well. I'm so glad it's okay to share the truly trivial things my life. Cynthia just said in her email that my last communication, about which I was worried, was actually appreciated for the break from Overwhelming it gave her. We have talked about some sort of support system and I will encourage her to concentrate on someone who's going through caregiving a husband. Again, thank you, and yes, you have helped. Linda
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Mon, 06-30-2008 - 7:36pm

Welcome to the board, Linda.

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