Mom just diagnosed

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2002
Mom just diagnosed
1
Sat, 08-23-2008 - 2:28am

New here. My mom called me tonight and told me she has ductal cancer in her right breast. She is 78, lives about 12 hours from me. Trusts the Drs. to the point that she doesen't ask a lot of questions. She has not had her MRI, but an aspiration biopsy came back malignant. She was talking mascectomy not lumpectomy, so I am assuming this is not DCIS.


I do have a medical background with animals. I'm familiar with medicalize. I'm just too far away to go to appointments with her.


What questions should we be asking? Does anyone know of a link to some questions we should be asking or have her asking at Drs. visits? At this point she doesen't know if they are going to do radiation. She's a pretty private person. I am going to encourage her to bring a close friend with her to her appointments since I know the patient may not hear all the same things someone else does. But I see her being resistant to having a friend along.


My dad already has lymphatic cancer and has been having strokes and mini strokes. The fact that the man is still living is a testament to the human body. Mom was barely, maybe not even, holding down the fort before this. My dad really needs some skilled nursing and they have been pretending they can still handle it all on their own.


What can I do to offer long distance support? What kind of aftercare is needed post mascectomy? Between me and my siblings we can arrange to spend SOME time with her post surgically. Two of us have young kids in school. One is a teacher. One is a teacher at a University. So most likely it will be only a few days each we can offer.


I'll read some other posts for a few more pointers.



Avatar for cl_coldfingers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sat, 08-23-2008 - 9:02am

Hi and welcome to the board.