Losing my sister's family

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2006
Losing my sister's family
1
Thu, 09-11-2008 - 11:03am

My sister, 39, died June 2007 after a year long battle with stage 4 ovarian cancer.  She left behind  husband, son (9), and a daughter (15).  After a year, I feel like I am losing them too.


Up until recently, I thought that her husband was a good man.  It has become increasingly clearer what a selfish person he is and that he does not really care to do what is in the best interest of his children.  He has started dating again, which I did not have a problem with.  Of course, she is not my sister and after spending time with her, I don't really care for her.  My problem is that she spends weekends at his house in my sister's bed.  Am I wrong to think that he should not have is girlfriend sleeping at his house.  His daughter has partially moved in with our mother because of this and told him as much, didn't care.  His impressionable son acts out against her and his father defends the girlfriend.  Not to mention that she has a sixteen year old daughter that she doesn't know where she is half the time.  Good influence.  He has all but stopped talking to me and my husband who was a good friend of his.  My mom, who goes to his house every school day to get the kids ready for school, give them breakfast, etc. is afraid that he will keep the youngest away from her if she says anything.  But she sees what this is doing to them.


In addition, he has a sister that is continually badmouthing me and my mother, trying to turn the kids against us.  I think it is working with Zack and I don't know how to stop it without stooping to her uneducated redneck level.  I am at the point where I just want to knock her head off and with all the anger in me from what is happening, I could.  They are racist, uneducated and backwoods.  My nephew said he didn't like Obama because he was black!  His mother would never have said that to him, but that is what his father and his family is teaching him, RACISM!!!!


I guess my question is how do salvage my relationship with my nephew?  My neice is not as impressionable and we have a good relationship.  I just don't know how to reach Zack.


Thank you for any advice or comments you might have.

Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Fri, 09-12-2008 - 2:29pm

I am so sorry about your sister!!

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