desperate sad hubby ? lymphoma

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2007
desperate sad hubby ? lymphoma
5
Wed, 11-26-2008 - 3:41pm
I don't usually post on message boards However after two days of crying and surfing the net I came to Two conclusions, First I Didn't know it was possible to cry so much and second I need some support from others.Heres my story My husband of 20 yrs started complaing of pain around his lower rirght rib cage being the cardiac rn that i am said it was probably his gallbladder and to see the MD.At his appointment lab was was drawn a cbc,cmp,amalyase and lipaise.He was also sent for an ultra sound.On wendsday 11/19/08 he asked me to look at the results of his blood work evertything was perfect except the ast ,a liver enzyme, was slightly elevated at 75.On friday 11/21/08 my life was turned upside down. He told my " It's not my gallbladder they found my spleen was a little enlarged and found polops on around it.they are leaning toward lymphoma." I immedatly felt my heart drop into my feet and started crying.I cried all day saturday but by Sunday I had convinced myself the Md was wrong.Monday 11/24/08 he went for a CT scan of that area.MOnday I started crying again and havent really stopped.Monday night he said the CT confirmed to untasound and he needed to go get another CT of the chest ,which he is having today and see an oncologist. The CT of the chest is to see if how far it had spread.The oncologist appointment is not untll 12/15/08 I don't think I can wait that long patience is not my virtue.I am so afraid it has spread to the liver with the ast elevated.I also am afraid my husband will die and leve me all alone.Idon't have anyone else but him and our 20 yr old daughter,who we have not told, and one friend in texas who listened to me cry all day yesterday.all of my information is comming second hand from my husband I have not spoken to his MD I don't feel I have the strength.I did have a friend not six months ago get the same diagnosis from his internal medicine MD got all of the test and all the way to the oncologist to find out they were wrong.I don't think will happen It feel they are right.I din't think they could diagnosis cancer without a biopsy. Can they? Has it been done before? I feel so hepless and so alone someone please help.

Lori

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Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Thu, 11-27-2008 - 6:51pm

Hi and welcome to the board!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2007
Fri, 11-28-2008 - 2:07pm
Thanks for your support.I know I have to go to the oncologist Not that I want tobut I have to go. My hubby has An issue of grasping things in general If you add the diagnosis on top of it I will be worse.I also understand medical jargon better since I work in heath care but that is also adding to my extreme fear of what is to come.I am still crying however I did get through Thanksgiving dinner with my our daughter Without her knowing something was wrong.That was a test.We are not telling her anything until we see the oncologist.My hubby called his primary MD to see if her could help move up the appointment,unfortunately with it being the holidays we will not here anything until monday.I don't feel like I will ever be happy again.I feel so alone.

Lori

Avatar for champagneonice
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2001
Sat, 11-29-2008 - 6:58pm

((((((Freya56686))))))


I just read your first post and now I'm crying, too. I know that old familiar feeling so alone. My dad passed away several years ago and with my being a daddy's girl, it was a severely crushing blow. I was never close to my mother and I only have one sibling whom I seldom have anything to do with. I had my husband who was my strength throughout the ordeal of losing my dad, but I still felt so alone without that constant presence of the first man I ever loved. He had been my protector and my hero.


I can only pray that your hubby will have good news after the result of all the tests are in. I know it may be "easy" for me to tell you to look on the positive side, but it's true... Until you know for sure, your being positive will be instrumental

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2005
Sat, 11-29-2008 - 11:49pm

I'm so very sorry about your husband, I wish that I could say something to make it easier for you, to be of some comfort.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2007
Mon, 12-01-2008 - 9:23pm

Well It's been a week since I heard the initial news.No more test or anything have been done.Of course we haven't heard anything from his Primary MD about getting the oncologist appointment moved to sooner.I blame it on two things the holidays,and the insensitivity of the MD.I don't like this man I don't like most MDs probably because I work to closely with them.I know how they think. I have been off work for the last week only because of luck not that I took anytime off. I did have someone cover my shift last Wednesday because I was to upset to go.Can't hide from the world any long must get back to life tomorrow my falling apart,helpless drama queen act is over at least while I am working.I keep holding on to a little hope that all of this is something else.There has still been no biopsy or oncologist vist.Letter came from the cancer center today to confirm the 12/15/08 appointment and I started crying.I feel so helpless.Still not sleeping or eating.Two weeks ago the only thing troubling me was losing 10lbs that's not going to be a problem now.


Lori