Hello, My Man has gastric cancer

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2008
Hello, My Man has gastric cancer
2
Sat, 12-20-2008 - 2:28pm

I don't know where to even start.


Well in the beginning of October 08 he went to the emergancy room with a bleeding ulcer. We thought thats all it was. 15 days later we found out he has Gastric Cancer. Thats when everything changed between us.


Here is a little history: I am 27yrs old and he is 53 yrs old. My mom kicked me out because after my divorce with my husband 2 and 1/2 yrs ago, she thought this man was taking advantage me because of our age difference. Which wasn't true at all. So after 3 months of dating I moved in with him. We had our issues because of the age difference but we always worked them out.


Then a year and half later he is diagnosed with cancer. He is mean to me, he even kicked me out of our apartment so I am back home with my mom. I refused to leave and well he called the cops so I just left so there wouldn't be any trouble. He still contacts me everyday like we are dating. He still wants to spend time with me. But when he is back on his treatments, he wants nothing to do with me. Then when he is on his breaks he loves me like he use to. I just don't get it I am soooo confused. He won't let me see him in the hospital.  Everyone is just telling me to suck it up and deal that I know he loves me. He has to be in the hospital for his treatments because of his insurance they wont treat him on an outpatient basis.


Everyone is telling me he is probably just being insecure because of our age difference, he thinks I am going to leave him because we can't be sexual right now. No I honestly don't care about that. I love him more than that. This is a man who treated me like I queen from day one. He still does when he isn't on his treatments.


Ugh now I am crying I don't know what to do, think, or feel.........


Thanks for listening


Melissa

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

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Avatar for champagneonice
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2001
Thu, 12-25-2008 - 12:01am

Oh, big hugs for you, Melissa! I'm so sorry about your hubby's diagnosis! On a brighter note, if caught early enough, his chances of surviving the cancer are very good. So, please think positive as much as possible, okay? What treatments is he recieving?


I'm confused about something, though.... Why are you not allowed to visit him in the hospital? I'd really like to know the answer to that one. Do you think he's taking any medication that may cause him to behave irratically?


Next thing, my dear, love knows no age difference. I'm married to a younger man myself and we've been married for 17 years. Like you, we've had our issues, but obviously, we've worked through them. There is a message board here at iVillage called May December Relationships. You may find some great support there, as well.


Would you please post back? We're here to help in any we can. There's a lot of love and support here.


Take care of yourself and remember that better times are sure to come.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 02-11-2009 - 6:14pm
Melissa, hun, how are you and your significant other doing? You've been in my thoughts.


 

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