Venting about bad EP advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Venting about bad EP advice
6
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 1:18pm
I have had two different people tell me this week that EPing long term for my twins is never going to work... that my milk is going to dry up way before it would if I was nursing them, that I should really be trying to get them back to the breast.

It makes me so mad!!! Why can't people be supportive?? Why can't they just say, "Hey, I hope that works out for you!" or "I've never heard of anyone pumping long term, what an interesting approach!" No one has to do what I am doing, so why can't they just let me?!?!? I guess babies in general, and especially twins, draw a lot of attention, but the kind of questions I get asked!!! I get asked by strangers if I had a c-section or vaginal birth, whether or not I used fertility drugs, whether or not I'm breastfeeding, whether or not they sleep well... it goes on and on! Never in any other circumstances would people dare to expect me to discuss my uterus, vagina or breasts with perfect strangers!!

Aaacckkk! I try really hard not to be defensive, and I usually respond as diplomatically as I can. I'm just so tired of ignorant people! Thanks for letting me vent!

Meredith

EPing for Aislinn & Abigail (10 weeks)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 1:20pm
People told me this too - I pumped for 19 months! Sometimes I think about going back and telling them how wrong they were, but I am afraid that I might not be very polite LOL!

Stick with this group, we will support you during your EP adventure however long *YOU* want it to last.

Ailsa & Hannah

Avatar for bozziesmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 2:33pm
Meredith,

I feel your pain. I get asked all sorts of personal questions also. When I'm asked if I'm nursing, I say "yes".... It's a whole lot easier than having to deal with some peoples ignorance.

You're doing great! Don't let anybody try and tell you different. Twins are hard work.

Hang in there :-)

Tanya, Kaiden and Kyler (12weeks)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 6:36pm
You know, I really don't know where some of this crap even comes from! Since most people have never in their wildest dreams considered EPing, why do they presume to know whether it works or not?

Relax, trust that this can work long-term, and if you run into these people a few months from now, be sure and let them know that you're still pumping! ;-)

Susan and Connor (14 1/2 months)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 6:52pm
Oh Meredith!

5 months ago I could have written your exact same post. Twins draw a lot of attention, and seem to make normally sane people act like completely rude buffoons. I have used several different tactics to deal with these issues. Sometimes I just avoid eye contact and keep on truckin' past people who seem to want me to stop to talk. Sometimes if I do stop, I just give very brief answers and don't answer questions that are too personal. Sometimes I lie just to get away from people. I always answer yes if people ask if I am breastfeeding. I rarely go into detail unless it is someone I really know who I think will be supportive. But it took me a while to get to the point where I felt comfortable doing those things - it's not how I normally would act, but I'm not letting strangers stress me out - there's enough stress when you are a twin mommy!

I think you are doing a wonderful and amazing thing, pumping for your babies. Yes, it is possible to pump long term! I am going on 7 months and down to 3 pumps a day, still producing around 60 oz. I pumped 6/7 times a day until about 5 weeks ago. In fact, am trying to wean and kind of having a hard time. Anyway, don't let them get you down! You're doing a great job.

Allie, pumping for Lily and Grace (7 months)

Avatar for mushck
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 9:07pm
OMG! Where do these people come from?! I was at a baby shower a few weeks ago and several ladies were talking about BFing and one of the ladies said it was impossible to pump long term. (She stated it as a fact!) I said, 'excuse me...I have been pumping for 6 months for my TWINS and I have been quite successful'. I told her about this board and also told her that La Leche League moms should be better informed on the option of EPing so as to help and support others. (They were all LLL members and one of the ladies was a LC!) :-)

We have to get the word out there that EPing is a great option.

As far as the twin thing goes, well, what can you say. Some people just don't think before they speak. I have had people ask if my b/g twins are identical! LOL! Should I undress them and then you tell me if you think they are 'identical'?!

Hang in there!

Kathleen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 10:04pm
I have pumped exclusivley for 7.5 months now. I am weaning now but it is by choice not becuse my milk production has decreased. I looked really hard for expert information about pumping only and found nothing. So I have no idea where people are getting these facts from. Do what feels right for you.

Shevvi and Sophia - 8 months