Mixed emotions while weaning?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2008
Mixed emotions while weaning?
5
Fri, 01-15-2010 - 6:29am

I am passive aggressively weaning. :-) I rapidly cut from 3 pumps to 2 pumps (and also cut lots of minutes) around mid-December. My deep freezer was full, and I was (at the time) mentally ready to be done. I didn't decide to "quit on a bad day" either. Things were going great, I just wanted my body back and the freedom from pumping.

Then once I made it to 2 pumps things were going pretty good, so I decided to keep pumping. Not sure when I'll stop - if my body doesn't decide that for me first. I'm dropping an ounce every day or two (used to be HVP), so I think this is quickly ending.

I'm having second thoughts about weaning. I think it's mother's guilt kicking in. LO will get breastmilk until he's at least 10.5 months if I quit TODAY (which really can't happen at 26 oz/day, LOL).

Anyone else have advice over how to deal with emotions during a long weaning process? If I had just done this quickly I don't think I'd be in this position of rethinking and agonizing over my decision every time I sit down to pump.

Also, does anyone have info about hormone swings during weaning? DH says I'm almost unbearable. :-(

Sorry for the long message, and thanks if you made it this far. Just needed a place to vent.


Lilypie




Biggest Loser Challenge
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Fri, 01-15-2010 - 9:14am

Hi! I'm weaning too and have mixed emotions. I'm ready to be done but it's hard to let go completely. My son is 12 months, which was my goal but now I find myself thinking well only two more weeks and it will be 13 months and reaching for that goal. I don't know why - I just think I have been so goal oriented around this issue for so long and was always saying to myself just make it to 6 months, just make it to 8 months, 9 months, etc. that I am still in that mindframe. But for me I think my body is saying enough is enough - I am down to 2 times per day (just dropped the middle of the day pump earlier this week and it is lovely!) but I'm barely making anything. I was going to wait for about a week until cutting minutes from my morning pump but since I'm making so little it doesn't seem worth it so I might start sooner.

As far as hormones - I don't have any scientific evidence off the top of my head but I would think if you weaned pretty fast that there would be some hormone stuff going on. If I were you I would continue at 2 pumps a day if it is reasonable for you. For me two pumps isn't bad and if I was making more milk I think I could stay here for while. However, if the pump is just driving you crazy then stop when you are ready - and don't feel guilty you've given your baby a great start in life!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2007
Fri, 01-15-2010 - 10:17am

don't have any advice but just wanted to let you know i sympathize.


when i was EPing for my DS, every time i dropped a pump i would have mood swings for a week.


when i decided to wean at one point i broke down while driving and pulled over into a parking lot to bawl my eyes out.


but it passes! and then you enjoy your freedom. one thing i did when i weaned was used the time in the evening when i used to pump, to have a beer!


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2008
Sat, 01-16-2010 - 8:59am

Thanks for the messages! I'm doing better than I was a few days ago, so that's good. I just feel so guilty about weaning before 12 months, even though my "goal" was 6 months. It seems like everybody goes through this!

I'm at 2x and hope to stay at 2x for a while - maybe a month? Who knows. I'm just winging it at this point!


Lilypie




Biggest Loser Challenge
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2007
Sat, 01-16-2010 - 3:51pm

glad you're feeling a little better. when i weaned last time around i did it slowly too. it helped me feel in control, and i also figured that any amount of breast milk my son got was good, helped with the guilt. guilt that you shouldn't be having because you've done a great job getting this far!


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Tue, 01-19-2010 - 9:38am
I think that no matter when you stop pumping you will feel guilty. I made it to my year goal and I still feel guilty about stopping. The main reason I feel guilty now is because he loves his BM. He is getting 2 bottles of BM a day and 2 bottles of CM. When he gets his BM he gobbles it down, when he gets his CM he drinks it well but he does a lot of stopping and starting - he doesn't seem to enjoy it as much as his BM. So I think, oh man I'm taking this away from him and feel guilty. I think it's just a mother thing. I'm trying my best not to feel guilty but it is hard. I know that when I am completely free of the pump though it is going to fell glorious!