Desperately in Need of Prayers

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2003
Desperately in Need of Prayers
5
Wed, 01-07-2004 - 7:14pm
I got some really bad news today. My doctor called me to inform me that my Pap Smear test came back positive for abnormal cell growth. And there's a good chance that I have cervical cancer because they ran some tests to check to see if it was an infection of some sort and the tests didn't show any infections. And I am experiencing some of the early symptoms. One of which is abnormal bleeding. I thought it was just my body trying to get back into the swing of things, but it turns out that it is a symptom of cervial cancer. I've had my period 3 times in the past month and a 1/2. I've also had some of the other symptoms like lower back pain, and abnormal discharge. Which I also thought was part of my body trying to get back to normal after having my daughter. Unfortunately, the doctor says there's nothing they can do for another 2 months. I nhave to wait that long before I can have any further testing done. They're hoping that it is just an infection and needs to clear up, so they want to give me time before running anymore tests.

My birthday is in 10 days, and my fiance and I were planning on going to spend it in NY with my family and friends. What a damper to put on my 20th b-day parade. None of my family or friends know. I've decided not to tell any of them until after the 2nd exam, even though I know they'll mad if there's something wrong and I didn't tell them initially my test results came back abnormal. I just don't want to ruin the trip out there or have my mother go off the deep end about how we're going to pay for treatment if there is a problem. (My medical insurance through the government won't cover the tests and what I'll need and no insurance company is going to insure someone who's sick for a rate we can afford.)

What really pisses me off is the fact that I had the Pap Smear done over 2 months ago, and they're just now calling me to say there's a problem. And they got my results back 2 weeks after my test was done! Then to tell me that they doubt it's an infection and I have to wait another 2-3 months before I can find out anything for sure. I'm going crazy! Now I have to go through the next 2 months (the earliest I can go in is the end of March) wondering if I have cancer. Odds are if I do since it was caught early I'll recover from it w/ no problem, but still. It's not something you want hanging over your head. I find myself looking at my daughter and wondering if I'll ever be able to give her a brother or a sister.

My fiance and I just started getting back on track and fixing our problems and now this! It's like a never ending bad day! I'm just really in need of some positive thoughts and prayers. I have no idea how I'm ever going to get through these next few months w/o knowing if everything is okay or not. I think, that's the worst. The not knowing for sure.



Thank you for reading this and for all your your thoughts and prayers. I really need them right now!

-Becky

Mom to Ilene

10-08-03

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-08-2004 - 7:24am
Oh Becky,

I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. Why do you have to wait so long for testing? I had a friend who's PAP test came back abnormal and she had the other testing done right away. I'm sending tons of ~~~positive~~~ vibes and even more prayers for you and your family.

(((HUGS)))

Jennifer & Jake (6/6/03)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2003
Thu, 01-08-2004 - 4:11pm
Thank you! I have to wait so they can rule out the possibility of an infection.

-Becky

Mom to Ilene

10-08-03
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2003
Thu, 01-08-2004 - 4:51pm

Becky~ I am so sorry that you are going through this. I am a cancer survivor (cervical) and am still going through the bs involved with it (biopsies ect.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2003
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 12:57pm
Becky,

I am normally a lurker on this board but wanted to let you know that I will add you to my prayer list. I too had a pap test with abnormal cells about 2 years ago. It was very scary and fortunately I have had normal tests since then. I give the credit for this to the Lord. Trust in Him no matter what. Remember that He loves you and wants you happy and well. Most importantly seek Him in prayer. He will not let you down! I'll be praying for you. God Bless!!

Tonya

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2003
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 8:19pm
Thank you very much for your thoughts and support!

-Becky

Mommy to Ilene

10=08=03