HOW DO I TELL THE FATHER???!!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2004
HOW DO I TELL THE FATHER???!!!!!!!!!!
7
Sat, 01-17-2004 - 6:14pm
Ok, I just found out yesterday I was pregnant. I only took one a home pregnancy test but it came up positive nonetheless. I just have no clue on how to tell the father. Now the father is just a friend of mine, who got a bit careless one night, well we both did actually. This wasnt planned obviously. I'm not really scared of telling him, I just dont know how to do it, I'm a bit nervous. Next week I have to go to the doctors to get the official word that yes indeed I am pregnant. My thing is do I tell him now that I'm pregnant or when I get back from my doctors appointment? I dont know, I need help?

Jazmine
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 11:21am
Hi Jazmine! Although pregnancy tests don't often register a false positive, I would wait until you get confirmation from your doctor first. Since you're probably not sure how the FOB is going to take the news, I would make sure that you tell him in person. Sit him down, and just tell him as straight-forward and honestly as you can. Good Luck and keep us updated! Christine
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2003
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 5:58pm
I had the same thing happen. I took a home test on Sunday and went to the doctor on Wednesday. I figured it was no sense bothering him until I knew for sure. Then, I called him and asked him to come over because there was something I needed to talk to him about. Almost as soon as I let him in, I told him that I was pregnant!! It was a really scary thing to do. I had no idea how he would react, but hoped he would say, "Let's get married." And that is exactly what he said.

I know how terrifying this is, but I want to wish you much strength and good luck!

Amber

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Sun, 01-25-2004 - 10:17am
I would tell him after the doctor, just to be sure. I would take him out to eat or something like that, like a friend thing and then tell him, not right off the bat, but not too long either. And seriously consider letting him be the father, let him know what's going on, take him with you to appointments, and when it gets to the point that you feel the baby call him, no matter what time it is. I'm not in your situation, because my man and I are engaged and were a month before i got pregnant, though we are celebrating our 6 month of being together on the 16th of Feb. but i do know a lot of girls in your situation...Let us know how it goes. We are here for you!!!


Jennifer and DF Wesley

16 wks 1 day

edd Beenie 7*10

**July 04 EC Green Team Member, hopefully pink Feb. 12**

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2004
Mon, 01-26-2004 - 5:04pm
First of all, thank you all for your advice I really do appreciate it. Well I caled him after I came home from the doctors to see if he was home, my friend said she would take me over there since I dont have a car, but all i got was his voice mail. So he calls me at like quarter to 10 at night, so I just told him over the phone. He was definately shocked, but he said he was gonna come over in the morning so we can talk in person. That wa on Friday, Its monday I haven't heard from him since! So who knows whats goin on. I cant stress over his decision not to come and talk to me about it, because stress isnt good for the baby, especially in my first trimester. So hopefully he comes to his sense, I'll keep you posted either way. But thank yall again for your advice!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
Tue, 02-10-2004 - 4:19pm
I really hate to say this, but if the situation was two friends letting things get out of hand, he may not be interested in being a father. That's not always the case, but it is a possibility. That could explain why he didn't come over when he said. Or maybe he just needed time to get used to the idea. If it was me, I don't think I would expect him to stick by me like a "confirmed partner" since there wasn't a commited relationship beforehand. In the end it's up to you how you deal with it, but don't get your hopes up so high that you'll be crushed if he isn't happy about the pregnancy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2004
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 3:40pm
Hey everybody, thank you all for the advise. I took it all into consideration. I saw the father last night he came by and we got to finally sit down and talk. And everything is good. He knows his responsibility and he decided that he's going to be man enough to take care of it. So I got a little bit of weight lifted off of my shoulder after this conversation. Now I can relax a little bit more. But thank you all again!!!!

Jazmine
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2003
Sun, 02-22-2004 - 1:47pm
I'm glad it turned out okay for you!