Difficult mother...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Difficult mother...
2
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 3:41pm
Just need to do a little venting here. I'm pregnant with my first child and this will be my mom's third grandchild (two from my sister). My mom just doesn't seem to think my pregnancy is anywhere near as important because the new-ness has worn off for her. She never wants to talk about it even though she claims she's happy for me. My sis has a lot of financial problems and takes a lot of financial help from my parents whereas DH and I are well off and able to take care of ourselves. That's part of the reason my mom seemed happy when DH and I finally decided to start having kids (we're 29).

Today she broke from the norm and actually acknowledged that I'm pregnant when she called me from a garage sale and asked if I wanted her to buy some birth announcements and a bunch of clothes. I thanked her for the thought but said that I would like to pick out my own things since this is my first baby and it's exciting for me. She got huffy and quickly said "'bye" before hanging up. My mom's a very frugal person and she just can't seem to understand that I can afford to buy nice things for my child so I shouldn't have to settle for whatever is the cheapest over what I really want. I've already gotten so many hand-me-downs from my sister. I got her crib, high chair, stroller, swing and exersaucer and I am very happy to have it. Those are expensive things that I don't have to buy now. But that just makes it even easier for me to be able to afford other things that I want to choose.

I wish she could understand it and be excited for me, but apparently that's asking too much.

Thanks for "listening".

~Danielle

edd 9/25/04 #1

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 12:30am
Danielle,

Maybe your mom feels bad because she can't really contribute baby stuff since you are well off financially? Maybe schedule some time together to go baby shopping or planning your baby shower?

Happy and healthy pregnancy to you,


Your Community Leader Aimee, Mom to Marah-Jade 09/17/03



*Any information or advice provided is my opinon and not intended as medical diagnosis. If in doubt please ask your doctor.

Happy and healthy pregnancy to you,

Your Community Leader Aimee, Mom to Marah-Jade 09/17/03

*Any information or advice provided is my opinon and not intended

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 9:28am

I agree with Aimee. I think your mom may not know what role she really plays. Maybe that's why she hasn't brought it up much. Maybe you could invite her to come to one of your appointments with you, or figure some other way for her to help out. Have you finished the nursery? She could help paint, or come with you to pick out borders or carpet.


Good Luck!

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