Getting cold feet...vent
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Getting cold feet...vent
| Tue, 05-25-2004 - 5:01pm |
I am starting to get a little worried about this whole baby thing. I am 15w4d and so far, I just feel fat. I feel so unattractive. DH doesn't seem to want to be intimate anymore, which isn't helping matters. I am worried about how I will look after the baby. I am worried that we won't have enough money when I go on mat leave. I would like to find a part time job (work f/t already) just so I can put some money away, a feel a little better, but who is going to hire a preggo? I am worried I won't be a good mom. I am worried that my relationship with DH with go down the tubes. I am worried that DH won't find me attractive anymore. I am worried we won't have any friends anymore. I don't feel like I can enjoy this pregnancy because I am worrying all the time. I will admit that I am very hormonal today and just need a place vent.
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Pinky,
You do sound a bit down in the dumps. Congratulations on your pregnancy, and hope that you can pull through, and remove the worries. Remember the law of worries - if there is nothing you can do about it - don't worry about it. Worrying about it won't help, and it just makes you feel miserable. If you are so miserable about everything that you are suffering from depression (always down, mood swings, crying all the time), please talk to your doctor and get some meds. There are safe meds you can take for depression. I know, because I take them.
Your DH is probably scared, this being your first child. Have him get on-line and chat with other expecting dads. See the 'Just For Dads' board on ivillage. Talk to your DH about your fears and concerns and the joy you feel too. Above all else, remember that DHs are not mind readers, in fact, they are just the opposite. He needs reassurance too that everything will be okay. He is probably worried about $ too, now that he has a new family member on the way.
You are certainly not fat, you are pregnant and that is a beautiful thing. Think of all the fun you can have with a great big belly, no need to suck it in. Let it all hang out and show the world this great thing going on. Think of all of the folks out there still TTC and how lucky you are to have a little one on the way.
Please don't rush to
Anne
I hope you are feeling a little better today. I worried a lot too. If you mention getting another job to DH he would probably instist on you not doing so and it may make him a little more anxious thinking he isn't a good provider. I know my DH was a little distant and had his own worries.
Just make sure you take care of yourself! You are the babies condo until birth and you want them to have a nice place to grow :)
Here are some tips for the money situation...when you do a baby registry register for a couple packs of each size diaper and wipes. That way you will have the essential's and won't have to run to the store as soon as you get home. If you plan to formula feed, or even if you don't sign up for all the programs, you can always trade or give to someone else. Except all hand me down's. I started
Don't worry about the fat feeling. Once you pop out, you will feel great! Until then be patient, wouldn't it be worse to be like me and have thought you were dying- and have extreme unexplained weight gain? Be happy because you know that you have a beautiful baby on the way!!! Good Luck!
As for the intimate part, my DH was the same way. We always had a great life in our bedroom and then he didn't want to touch me. It made things so much worse. Now (3 months after Liam) it is back and believe it or not, better!!! I think that we even love each other more than before. I strongly believe that men have a problem because that is now a home to their child and not a place for plessure. Try not to feel bad about it. I know it is hard but it does get better.
Things will get better soon. I am not an incredibly religous person but I believe in God and I have expierenced first hand that he has a special way of providing for mothers to be.
LOL,
Erica