Is it really worth it? Daycare ? (long)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
Is it really worth it? Daycare ? (long)
10
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 1:01pm

I have my little guy enrolled at a school type daycare program while

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2004
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 1:28pm
I guess in my opinion, working part-time and having part-time daycare isn't all that bad. That's what I'm going to do once Carlie is born in October. She'll start daycare in January and will be attending daycare on Tuesday's and Friday's every week. I'm also going to work from home on Wednesday's so that'll save on daycare. My thought is that I need to have her exposed to other children without me around for a couple days a week and at the same time, I need to be exposed to "work" life a couple days a week as well.

The money is another thing... Before I got pregnant, I was working terrible hours but making great money. Because I was sick for the first 15 weeks, I ended up quitting my job, reprioritizing my life, and now working part-time. Ya, the adjustment financially isn't the most fun, but it's nice being able to focus on my body and my baby (I never would've been able to do that at my old job). We're making things more than work financially and I couldn't be happier with my decisions in my career and life.

Basically, think of what will make you and your family the most happy and see how you can make it work financially. As I've been told TIME AND TIME AGAIN, we'll never get these years back, so we need to cherish them!

Good luck and take care!

Lori and Carlie Jo

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 3:01pm
Brandy I am afraid that I am going to be in the same situation. I am 18 wks PG, working full-time, and providing insurance for our family. My husband is considering quiting his job to hopefully find one that provides insurance. (This is really stressing me out. I wish he would make up his mind.) If my husband stays at his job I will be forced to work. It is so hard to want to be a SAHM but not be able to do it.

Maybe to protect your son you should look for someone to watch him out of their home. This way he is not around so many children.

Let me know what you decide.

Christine

24/IN/18wks

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 3:38pm
I'm torn and I work at home! It's a tough decision that involves weighing a lot of pros and cons then finding the courage to make the change if that's what you decide.

I'm not able to be very productive anymore because my baby needs me. There's no way I can put in the 60+ hours per week needed to grow our business, so we thought about hiring a nanny a couple days a week, but decided the expense wasn't worth it. So, basically, I work when I can (usually only 10-15 hours per week now) and we'll get back to growing our business in a few years. In the mean time, my husband works to bring in just what we need to pay the bills each month.

Personally, I think we owe it to our babies and they thrive if we can find a way to have at least one parent home. If you really want to be a SAHM, I know you can find a way to make it work.

Janna

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 10:46pm
the main reason i am not working right now is because i am almost certain that we'd be paying so much for daycare it truly wouldn't be worth it...but that is our situation & everyone has to do what is right for them. no one can tell you what to do or what not to do, you have to do what's best for your family...but if you're looking for advice, here's my 2 cents...

i am so glad to be a sahm for however long it lasts, i'm not sure when i'll be going back to work but i am truly thankful for the time that i have had as a sahm...even though it's rough sometimes (financially especially) & we have to put off some things until there are 2 incomes coming in again, it's so worth it to me/us. dh has told me on several occasions that he wants me to continue being a sahm as long as possible (not sure how long that will be since we're looking into buying a house in the spring) & fells that Ilish has really benefited from having one parent home w/her.

also weiging into our decision is the fact that she is probably our one & only - so i won't have the chance to do this again & i would hate to be working through all of her 1st's...she's already growing up so fast, i am glad i've been there for everything so far.

on a side note, Ilish has only had 2 very minor illnesses since birth, a cold (that didn't last very long at all & wasn't too bad) & a stomach virus - in my opinion that would probably be a lot worse if she were in daycare (whether or not it's better for her in the long run to not be around all those other kids in daycare - i'm not sure yet, but we'll see :).

ok...as you know i'm long winded, but i'll stop now!

good luck in whatever you decide & know that it's what's best for you & Cade. i hope everything works out the way you'd like. let us know what you decide.

Patti & Ilish (9/22/03)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 9:47am
Unfortunately, I am going to be going back to work after 12 weeks....I have a good, stable job (teacher) with good benefits, pension and 403b plan, whereas DH makes enough money that I could stay home no problem, the company is still in the 'start up' stage and something could happen any day....if he lost his job we'd be in a world of hurt (he is on my insurance b/c his is so much more expensive), SO, for the time being I will keep working.

We hope to have more kids and at that point he will have a different job with more security and more affordable benefits so I can stay home.

I've been told that the $135/week I will be paying is a great price, and since I teach I have decent hours and am home vacations/holidays and summers so that will help.

We'll see how it goes...

Lynn

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2004
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 4:43pm

I think that a lot of us have been in the same situation and it is a horrible one to be in. I tried going back to work six weeks after Liam was born and it was horrible. I even worked it out with my work that I would work late at night when no one else was in the office. I worked from 11pm to 7am and I thought that it was a great idea because then Liam would never have to go to daycare. I forgot that I needed sleep sometimes so that came to an end after only a month.



I decided to stay home because the only daycares that I would put Liam in downtown cost around $1000 a month. Can you believe that??? It just didn't make sense. Plus Liam is incredibly advanced for his age and the doctor contributes a lot of it to all the work that I do with him. Liam has also never been to the doctor for being sick. It is hard though. The loss of my salary has defiantly impacted our finances. I can't shop the way that I used to and that has taken

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2004
Fri, 08-13-2004 - 10:22pm
As for those who want to be SAHM but are trying to figure out how to make it possible (say your DH isn't making a ton of money), an honest cost-sheet of how much money is currently spent on extra gas, eating out, convenience foods at home, daycare, and all that will help to show whether you could save a lot by cooking nutritious meals from scratch, not paying for daycare, and in general embracing a simpler, more values-centered life.

Of course, you also have to be able (or willing to learn) to cook from scratch to keep food budgets trim, and maybe see what frills you could do without, such as cable TV or eating out frequently. In my cost analysis, the simple habit of daily Dunkin' Donuts coffee, was costing us $40/month, or $480/year! And that was for only one person's coffee, no fancy latte, no donut!

Eating out is a huge money-sucker, and people don't realize how much they spend that way unless they track it. Add to that the fact that regardless of whether it's restaurant dining or fast food, you're getting oversized portions, outrageous amounts of fat and starch, and not enough vegetables when compared to healthy home meals.

But for that to work, you have to be a good cook, and not everyone loves cooking the way I do. But it's worth learning if you just never had the time before.

But even if you're not an aspiring scratch-cook, Hamburger Helper and a pile of frozen veggies is still way cheaper than any eating out.

I can recommend the Dollar Stretcher and Voluntary Simplicity sites for good info on living well on less cash.

-Meg, wife to a wonderful mail carrier and mother to a 3-year-old daughter, expecting a son by homebirth VBAC soon!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Sat, 08-14-2004 - 1:13am

Heya Brandy! It's Jayme from the Dec. 03 board... I was in the exact same position you are in a couple of months ago. I went back to work 6 weeks after having Ander, and had family watching him for a few months. All at once it disintigrated. My sister got into the school she'd been on the waiting list for 3 years, my other sister got pregnant with her second and had horrible morning sickness, and my cousin's husband got a job across the country. I basically had a month to find childcare for Ander that I could a) afford and b) trust.


I had a lot of really long conversations with my husband, who was really wonderful about the whole situation. I knew in my heart that I just wanted to be home with Ander. We had tried for years for a baby, and it broke me up inside that I was missing all the moments I'd dreamed of for so long. Anyway, DH and I stayed up all night with a stack of bills and our calculator and came up with a realistic workable plan. I quit my job the next day...


It's rough sometimes because I did contribute quite a bit to the household finances. We are living on about 70% of what we had. But in the end, I spend less on gas, no daycare (obviously), work clothes, lunches out, etc. Brandy, I just have to say if there is ANYWAY that you can be home with Cade, DO IT. We sold our big, expensive house, and moved to a much smaller one. I don't buy new clothes (unless they are really on sale), we don't eat out (unless we have a 2-for-1 coupon), and I have learned to get really creative with not only money, but with my time.


Sorry this post is so long... I feel like I know you from the Dec. 03 board, and this seems to have been an issue for you and Cade for a long time now. I totally respect WOHMs---but you have to trust your gut, and your heart. I'll be thinking about you and your family.


You can email me anytime at jadalillie@msn.com


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Sat, 08-14-2004 - 9:55am
My husband and I decided long before we got pregnant that we would not put our child in daycare. As a former daycare worker, I can't stand the thought of someone else raising my child. We're poor, poor, poor, but we'll find a way, not matter what.

On a slightly positive note, I've heard that children who attend daycare are actually sick less later in life. Because they are exposed to so many things, their body builds up immunities.

My sister-in-law uses a home daycare. They can be good because there are less children, but bad because there is less monitoring of the daycare.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sat, 08-14-2004 - 11:13am
I totally feel you. I would LOVE to be able to stay at home, but my situation is slightly different. I am the "bread winner" of the family and my husband doesn't make enough money to support us himself... let alone add a baby to the mix. On top of that, we are adopting, so we'll have all those expenses to pay off (think of adding a new luxury car to your bills... that's about how much we may end up paying). And, we would like to have 2 or 3 children.

I have sat down and looked at all our bills and tried to work it out without my salary... it just would not work. If I got a part-time job, maybe. I am not at all opposed to that. In fact, I would love to be a waitress again.... but only a couple of nights a week. Then, I would have to find a high-class restaurant that I could make a hundred bucks a night.

However, I am lucky that my mom is willing to watch our child during the day. But I don't know how that will last. My mom has been ready to be a grandma about as long as I've been aching to be mom... so she's ecstatic to stay home with the baby. However, I can see my mom getting overwhelmed very easily. I think she would eventually prefer to be a backup as opposed to the primary caregiver. And, I would still be jealous of my mom watching the baby while I'm at work.

Hubby and I have also discussed him staying home with the child. That would work financially and he is willing. In fact, at one time or another I think we pretty much counted on him being Mr. Mom. But, I don't know really remember how come that was never pursued further.

So, we are not really considering daycare, but I do really want to be able to stay home. It's the job I've wanted since I was six years old. Struggling with infertility for over 4 years has intensified those feelings. If it's meant to be, God will provide us with a way. So, for now, we are just counting on my mom watching the baby.

Jennie :)

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