Nobody to throw me a shower (sniff)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2004
Nobody to throw me a shower (sniff)
Sat, 08-14-2004 - 7:15am
I'm 31, having my 1st child due 9/17, and nobody in my family has had a child since my mother. My mom was an only child born to my grandmother at the ripe old age (especially back then) of 38, so aside from my DH's family (who are wonderful but also mostly old folks because his dad is 70) my family consists of my mother and a sister I haven't seen or spoken with in 7 years, who is 33, and probably won't have children or marry.

So I am having this child in a vacuum, seems like. I also have no mommy friends, and my closest girlfriend is 24, single, and not likely to be a mommy any time soon, and by her choice, maybe never.

My mother can't throw me a shower because she's on SSI/disability and has no disposable income, and also has no real social network.

Truthfully, I don't need one, because my DH's family have already "showered" me with hand-me-down baby clothes and such from previous births in the family, and we have all the stuff we need. But I feel kind of sad that I won't get to be the center of attention and have all the fuss and wrapping paper and cake and little cute items I don't really need, because not only is this my 1st, this is the baby I thought I would never be able to have.

This is my big chance to be princess for a day, and there's no party. Can anyone throw me a pat on the shoulder?

-Meg EDD 9/17

-Meg, wife to a wonderful mail carrier and mother to a 3-year-old daughter, expecting a son by homebirth VBAC soon!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Sat, 08-14-2004 - 10:24am
*Pat, Pat* (on the shoulder)

Well, I'd consider you lucky. I don't want a baby shower, but apparently there is no way I can get out of it. I even tried begging my midwife to tell me I can't travel or leave the house at all.

My MIL is throwing this dreaded shower a week from today at her house which is 400 miles from where we live. I didn't want to have to travel just to get a few gifts! She wants to play these stupid shower games, invite a whole bunch of people I don't even want to see or don't even know because they are her friends not ours. And worst of all, she invited my mother and father whom I haven't spoken to in years and don't get along with because they are extremely racist. (My hubby is African-American)

So I am truly dreading this thing. I have been chewing my nails, and stressing over it because I really don't want to go.

So this is why I consider you lucky. How about you take my place? ;)

But just know that even if no one does throw you a shower that there are still those in your life that love and support you, and will be there for you. Hang in there and know that you are a princess everyday!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2004
Sat, 08-14-2004 - 10:28am
Hi!! I just wanted to respond because I know exactly how you feel. Although my situation is not the same I am a bit upset at the fact that I will not have anyone close to me to throw me a shower should I get that far along.

My husband and I are moving to KY in the next couple of months and by the time I would normally have a shower I will be unable to travel. :( Honestly I am not the best at meeting new people so I doubt I will have anyone close to me there to throw me a shower.

Makes me rather sad as this is the first grandchild for my parents and they are thrilled, but my dad has been sick and may not be able to travel to see me.

Oh well I guess I just have to pray for a healthy baby and be thrilled with that!

Maybe we can throw eachother a virtual baby shower! :)


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
Sat, 08-14-2004 - 9:41pm

I would throw you a shower, even if it was only to get together and eat fancy sandwiches and drink tea. They could still play games and make you wear a silly hat. Maybe they will really surprise you!

At least you do have everything you need.

Have you been taking belly pictures? Maybe you and your DH could throw a mini shower, just the two of you. He could plan the menu (whether or not you go out) and it could be a surprise. He could plan the games or maybe you two could work on a craft for the baby, like paint a picture for the baby's room.

Hugs and Belly rubs!



iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 8:21pm
You should definately have a shower! Even if you have to plan it and no one comes. Get some invitations and send them out to your friends and family and let them send gifts if they want. Pick a day and decorate your house. You can invite anyone you want, it's your party. Buy yourself some gifts and wrap them up (maybe they are not from you but early gifts from Santa Claus!) just be creative and have fun. It is a shower for you anyway so do what you want. Good luck, let us know how it goes!