Need advice on a few things...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2004
Need advice on a few things...
6
Mon, 11-24-2008 - 10:59pm

OK I have a few things I need advice on.

1. My boyfriend is a smoker. Ever since I found out I was pregnant, he's been saying he's going to quit. Problem is, I'm 5 1/2mo along and I don't even see a small difference. He says he's trying, but I don't believe him. I don't even have faith that he will quit by the time the baby is born. He smokes outside and when he's done he changes his shirt, sprays Febreze, washes his hands, and brushes his teeth. I don't understand why he would go through such a hassle every time he smokes when he can just quit! Our apartment doesn't smell like smoke at all and he showers every night before bed, so our bed doesn't smell either but it BUGS THE HELL out of me that he doesn't have the willpower to quit. What should I do??

2. People keep telling me how big I am for only being 5.5mo pregnant. People say, "boy are you sure you're not expecting twins" or "you couldn't even tell I was pregnant when I was 5mo along" and so on. I just want to punch everyone in the face! I've only gained about 13lbs and you cannot tell I'm pregnant from the back. I haven't filled out anywhere EXCEPT my stomach. Part of why this bothers me SO much (aside from people being downright rude) is that I got pregnant within the first few times of having sex with my boyfriend and I was dating someone before my boyfriend and we had only broken up about a week before I started seeing my current man. He and I didn't have sex for the first time until about 2 weeks into our relationship and I had had a completely normal period before we slept together for the first time. AND I hadn't had sex with my previous boyfriend for about a month prior to sleeping with my current boyfriend. The doctor has said that the chances of the baby being the OTHER guy's are VERY SLIM. He's checked her "age" every single time we've done an ultra sound and he hasn't upped her due date. I explained the situation to him and my concerns and he's pretty certain there's next to no chance it could be the last boyfriend's baby. All the things I should experience fall right in line of WHEN I'm supposed to experience them; I felt her move for the first time at about 19 weeks, Justin felt her move at about 21 weeks, I stopped getting sick at about 3 1/2 months, etc. But with all these people telling me how big I am already, it just makes me THAT much more nervous!! Can anyone understand?

3. I'm not feeling her move quite as much as I did last week. I will be 24 weeks tomorrow and last week she was moving and hiccuping like a crazy person. The past few days; not so much. Now that I am typing this, she's moving. HA!

I'm attaching a photo of myself at 22 weeks. I'm wearing a dress so it doesnt lay quite the same as if I were showing bare skin, but you'll get the idea of my size.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2008
Wed, 02-11-2009 - 12:02pm
I know it's really hard to quit something like that. I was a smoker too so I tell him try quitting and dealing with all of the pregnancy hormones LOL!! I think once I get him on a good diet and healthy he won't think anything of it. I am just proud that he was able to quit.

dragonflyblink.gif picture by cnj1014


Avatar for cmkristy
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2005
Wed, 02-11-2009 - 11:57am

Jenna-


That is wonderful news about your DH!

 photo snowsiggy.png

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2008
Tue, 02-10-2009 - 12:44pm

I know what you are going through with the smoking. I actually was a smoker and the day I found out I was pregnant, that was it for me. My DH though, the day I met him he told me straight up that he would never quit smoking. Well his mom is a nurse so we got told almost every day to quit smoking. So he tells me he will quit before the baby comes. Once I quit just being around him made me sick, the smell of it etc... I couldn't believe that is how I smelled. He wasn't a heavy smoker, only smoking about 3/4 of a pack a day. He switched a few brands, smoking ultra lights. Then he would only smoke after he had a meal. Now I am pleased to say he has stopped smoking all together. While it hasn't been easy, he is more moody then I am!!!He has actually started drinking more coffee! Oh well you can't win them all. My advice to you though is give it time, he will eventually come around. One of my friends just had her first baby last month :) her DH was in the same boat, I don't even know if he actually quit before the baby came. I have to call her. Just keep your head up!


Secondly about the size thing, ever since finding out I was pregnant I was so amazed by the growth of the belly that I tend to look at the "belly shots" when I can online. I am surprised to see how different every one is. I mean even looking at women who are 8 or 9 weeks along and already starting to show! It's crazy, but the only thing I can say is everyone is different. I actually just started showing about two weeks ago, before that nothing and I was telling myself how can this be when I am so far along! I think you look great for being 5 1/2 months along! Don't let what others have to say affect you!

Jenna


dragonflyblink.gif picture by cnj1014


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2004
Mon, 01-26-2009 - 6:43pm
Thank you! That makes me feel a LOT better!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2008
Thu, 01-08-2009 - 2:20pm
i don't think you are huge at all. i've heard both, the i am so teeny for 4 months, and the are you aure you arn't having twins, you are so big. everyone carries different. i also am all belly , so i understand:)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2004
Mon, 11-24-2008 - 11:43pm

Okay, let's start with the smoking.