Best Tips?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
Best Tips?
9
Fri, 07-17-2009 - 10:16pm

Hi everyone.


I am new here, and I need some advice. We are really up to our eyeballs in debt about 1 years income worth so it's not something we can pay off quickly but I am so ready to be out of debt (this is not counting the mortgage).


The main problems are:


1. No time to try and plan to save money.


2. Husband is NOT on board at all :-(


I have tried all the obvious things. I am really at a loss. I know you ladies live this so you will know what works and what does not. Here is what we do:


1. We reduce all utilities as much as possible


2. I attempt to bargain shop. Sometimes I am good at this and sometimes not - it just seems to take too much effort. With three kids under three lots of times I am just struggling to keep up.


3. We drive one car, not two - as to save on insurance. (it is not a new car so we do not have payments either)


4. We do not have "entertaintment costs" Honestly would love to be able to afford this but as is we do not have any time to take advantage of it anyway..


It's important to me to be able to be debt free, and to be able to stay at home with my kids. Right now I have a night job as a bartender from the time my husband gets home to the middle of the night.

Lilypie Kids birthday Ticker Pho
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2003
In reply to: octoberborn
Sat, 07-18-2009 - 1:30pm

Hi and welcome

I found with potty training that really has to be the child's choice not ours I struggled with potty training with my 4 yr girl for 2yrs I was trying everything possible but one trick I learned thru it all was
read potty training books every chance possible and really stress that the child needs to be a big child every chance I got
Finally right after my 4yrs old birthday this year in June within one week she was asking for panties and started to realize that preschool was not going to put up with girls in pull ups She also wore dresses to make going potty easy I had a few washable waterproof covers for short outings which made it easy also

I am sure the ladies here can give you more advice

Becky

Becky
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
In reply to: octoberborn
Sat, 07-18-2009 - 1:50pm

Welcome to the board!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2003
In reply to: octoberborn
Sat, 07-18-2009 - 7:38pm

First of all, welcome to the board!


One thing I think you are going to have to make time for is to plan. I just don't see how you can attack your debt &/or save money w/out a game plan. Imho, you would benefit from having a spending plan where you allocate every $$ of every paycheck on paper or a spreadsheet or whatever works for you. If you need ideas for this, Dave Ramsey's book The Total Money Makeover is an excellent place to start. Forget everything else he has to say if it's too overwhelming, but read the chapter on zero-based budgeting.


I agree w/Laura about posting your budget #s if you feel comfortable doing that. It would give us a starting point to brainstorm some ideas for you.


As for your twins, do you qualify for WIC? I'm not sure what the income guidelines are but do know that they are more generous than the food stamp income guidelines.


I hope you continue checking back here for ideas, and, more importantly, the encouragement and support that our board members have to offer!

Kelly



iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2005
In reply to: octoberborn
Mon, 07-20-2009 - 11:46pm

One thing that works for me is tracking where my money goes.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2007
In reply to: octoberborn
Tue, 07-21-2009 - 2:44am

Oh my goodness girl!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: octoberborn
Tue, 07-21-2009 - 12:37pm

It took two things to get my dh on board w/budgeting and then he really wasnt that into it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2005
In reply to: octoberborn
Tue, 07-21-2009 - 5:51pm

Hi,


I just wanted to send you a few HUGS. My twins are 3 y/o with an older DD almost 7. I remember the 1st year, the hard time with money and just when we got off of formula DH lost his job- OUCH! talk about a big hit to the income since I am a SAHM. DH and I lived in our favoriate island of denial for another year and then something just clicked in me. It was hard to get him on board. I would say budget and he would put on his boxxing gloves.... but once I was able to sit him down and have to look at what we were "pissing" away every month, it click in him too. NOW it is wonderful becuase we are able to value in what we do have and can't beleive how much we really do make. We are snowballing right now and as of next pay check will have paid off #2. I highly recommend Dave Ramseys book. Total money make over. he is the boom. Check it out at your library. I had to put mine on hold becuase it goes out so often.


If I were in your shoes. Here is what I would do....


1. Start a fight with your DH... j/k kind of, it took us a whole of firghting about bills till we came to agree- might as well start now. Part of what I would say to DH is " tell me something that you really want? You want a new truck.... ok you want a new x- box ( whatever) what if you stayed on board for 4 months buy then we will have saved enough for an x-box..... or whatever. ALSO part of my DH problem was that he felt like he was working and working and didn't get any money - so I gave him a 20 (now 15) a week blow money. HE could do whatever he wanted to with it. BUy lunch everyday- I don't care- it was his.


2. I would sit down and figure out what your bills are and how much DH makes and how much you make I would also see if you quiafy for WIC on just DH $$ if that is the case and you can save 300 a month on formula , save on eating out and get to see your DH than maybe it is worth you quiting-


Post your budget if you can- these ladies rock at shorten budgets. They amaze me all the time!


Good Luck and keep us posted

Erin
Erin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
In reply to: octoberborn
Wed, 07-22-2009 - 1:03pm

I too am a big fan of Dave Ramsey.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2005
In reply to: octoberborn
Wed, 07-22-2009 - 7:01pm

DH and I work opposite shifts, too, and it stinks sometimes. You are obviously very stressed, and being that stressed it's hard to get a handle on finances. But believe me - the stress goes down once you get a plan.

Track all your expenses for a while. You can do something online like mint.com or just carry around a little notebook - but account for every penny. Is your debt going up, or are you just carrying along stuff from way back? Do you make enough to live the lifestyle you're living? Or is it just that "little" expenses are out of control (I am the queen of that, BTW - spending $10 here and $20 there until we have no money - I have to write it down or I get into trouble).

The solution is very different depending on what's causing the problem. If you are not bringing enough in to have a reasonable budget, then you need to make a major change (like moving or someone finding a new job). If you just arent being careful enough, you can get away with a couple of minor changes.

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