UGGHHH! Stupid Ex ( a bit long)

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Registered: 10-25-2005
UGGHHH! Stupid Ex ( a bit long)
11
Wed, 12-17-2008 - 9:49pm

OK, total vent here, but my stupid (insert expletive) ex just ruined all of my plans. I had all of my plans laid out. The ex owes me two weeks worth of child support (actually a lot more, but that's what I'm currently expecting), and it should have showed up in the account Monday or Tuesday. Well, guess what. It didn't. That was going to cover one of my major bills. I have a plan set up to cover every one of my bills, but unfortunately, in order to cover everything, I have to figure in the CS. I hate depending on him, because I know I really can't.


As it stands, I had to have my beyond wonderful boss bail me out, and basically wire money straight into my account today to cover what didn't show up in CS. Pay day is Thursday, and he would have given me my check on Tuesday if I had asked, but I didn't. I was hoping I wouldn't need to. (My bank puts a hold on all checks deposited until the next day, so putting the check in today wouldn't have helped.)

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Avatar for mom_x_three
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-17-2008 - 10:34pm

hi, my ex currently owes over 20k...and seems to quit/get fired as soon as the withholding order is delivered to the new employer...I get very sporadic payments, nothing that can be counted on or included in our budget. He's also never, ever, contributed his half of a medical/dental bill.

I realize you think you have to count on the CS money, but realistically with an ex like this, you have to find a way to work your budget without it...otherwise he will sink you...trust me, I know from experience.

Sherry


happily married since 2003...a blended family with 4 kids, 1 grandchild and second grandbaby due in September

Sherry<with 3 kids, 2 beautiful granddaughters

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2007
Wed, 12-17-2008 - 10:37pm
*Hugs* The only thing I can think to suggest is to call your attorney...at least in KY, you can ask for attorney's fees for the motion to compel payment.

~Didi

Wife to Ron, Mommy to Will


baby


I have a blog!

~Didi

Wife to Ron, Mommy to Will


baby


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2005
Wed, 12-17-2008 - 10:52pm

I know, unfortunately, my attorney charges first, and then credits me back, I think. I don't have the money to retain him...


I am actually sort of waiting for him to haul me in to court. He usually does this once a year, but skipped this year. He hauls me in for a reduction in CS, which alway winds up increasing (he's not the brightest bulb), and then I can slap him with contempt for not paying the medical support. He owes me about $7500 in back support, and doesn't file taxes so I can't even get his return. I plan on petitioning the court to compel him to file by X date and hold him in contempt if he doesn't. I have full custody and I have to jump through a ton of hoops, but I don't even have a phone number or address for him when he takes DS for visits, let alone anything else. I'm supposed to notify him of medical emergencies, but have no phone number. Yep, I was married to a real winner...


And to the other poster, I know I shouldn't depend on him. I couldn't when we were married, I sure can't now. I just really want to get these bills paid off. I guess I need to rework my schedule. Or maybe beat DH in the head for spending on what he wants with his paycheck, after the house payment is made, and not paying on the other bills. Maybe both. LOL!

-Jan


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2005
Thu, 12-18-2008 - 2:48pm

I totally understand your frustration and situation!

Wedding
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
Thu, 12-18-2008 - 3:51pm

Hi there.....I'm a lurker but wanted you to know you are not alone. As much as I hate to say it, you really shouldn't count on the CS. I am in a similar situation and am now working two jobs because the ex is not and has not been paying for quite some time yet. It royally sucks but I have to do what is necessary to provide for my children.


I hope you are able to work on your budget and not include the CS. Then IF and when it shows up you can put it in savings.


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Registered: 10-25-2005
Thu, 12-18-2008 - 8:07pm
I totally kwym about the ex not offering the info on his new job. My ex is the same way. He managed to snake me for 9 months a couple years ago. Fortunately, he has a few people he has burned, and his best friend doesn't like the fact that he doesn't pay me. So I have an informant who won't give me all the answers, but will give me enough info to get what I need to know. God knows the state isn't doing anything. I did discuss with DH last night, and he understands. So we are going to go through everything this weekend. Hopefully, I can come up with a plan. DS emailed him yesterday and he didn't quit his job, so he is just jerking my chain. Fairly normal. Big hugs
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2005
Thu, 12-18-2008 - 8:12pm
I actually worked a second job a few years ago for Christmas, but it was seasonal. I also don't think I can work two jobs right now, as I am (quite) PG, and working 40 hrs, plus I drive about 10 hrs a week to commute. A second job is just more than I can handle right now. I will get my "budget" worked out before the end of the month.

-Jan


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-1999
Sat, 12-20-2008 - 3:09pm

Hi! Read your post and those to follow.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2005
Sat, 12-20-2008 - 3:33pm

Hi! Thanks for responding! I actually am hooked up with them. They don't do anything for me. IDK if he is using a bad SS # or if they just can't seem to find him, or if his employers have just not reported his employment as is required by law. I called to report that his employer wasn't withholding the appropriate amt once, and they claimed they didn't have a phone number and letters had not been responded to. I told them to give me 2 minutes and gave them the phone number by searching yellowpages.com. I'm sure you all have heard about our fabulous gov here in the state of IL. He claims to be doing such a great job, but if you aren't on PA, you pretty much get ignored. As for taxes, he doesn't file his taxes. Hasn't in about 4 years or so. Prior to that, he was his own "boss" so he just had to show that he had a loss and didn't have to pay anything in nor did he get anything back. The state claims that can't force him to file his taxes. Since he always quits his jobs, he never qualifies for unemployment.


What it really comes down to is the state agency is pretty worthless, and if I left it up to them, I would probably never get anything. I seem to have better luck handling things on my own. I also save myself money on the atty by doing all of the legwork myself. I do so well, my atty has discussed hiring me. I did let the state take a hold of things once, and the ex was ordered to pay for insurance that was rediculously expensive, not that I care, but it wasn't even good until the first year had passed and on top of all that, I can't depend on him to maintain insurance. I would rather have the insurance through DH, like I do now, and know that it is available, and works. On top of that, it doesn't cost us any extra to insure DS on the family plan.


The good news is that DS said he didn't quit his job. DS was talking to him online, which I wasn't aware of. I also got my CS, albeit late,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2007
Sun, 12-28-2008 - 10:16pm

My sister has gotten her ex's last five tax refunds, has a lien on his house and on his car and gets the benefit of any state reimbursements for anything in his name (basically a few business related things...). She had to basically hound Child Support Enforcement though in order to get these. Currently his driver's license is suspended because of his failure to pay and if he continues to fail to pay he will go to jail. The judge that suspended his license gave a deadline for the butthead to pay by or he goes to jail...the moron has been through this all before and just barely makes the payments in time.

Good luck! My ex is going to prison next month and my son's CS will disappear for seven years...

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