REALLY need to talk/Had a lousy weekend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
REALLY need to talk/Had a lousy weekend.
1
Mon, 02-02-2004 - 1:40am
I am really not good. I have had a really bad weekend. Just totally washed out, tired, and completely fatigued to the bone. Right now I feel horrible. My temperature never really went down all weekend. The lowest it went was around 100, and at that point now yet. So I discussed with my grandmother earlier, that I have to go into the hospital tomorrow and get myself tested. She wants to go with me to give me support, and help me keep my courage up. I have to know what this is once and for all, and if it is indeed diabetes. I am so scared, more than I've been in a long time. I feel really faint right now too, not to mention nauseous, so I won't make this too long. I swear that I am not leaving that hospital, till they give me some answers. I can't take this anymore!! I feel like freakin' hell!! I can't even get the rest of my water down, due to the nausea. No, I haven't been throwing up any, but the nausea comes and goes. Now it is really getting bad. I have eaten this weekend, but just here and there to keep alive. We have to go downtown first to an important appointment though tomorrow, so I don't know if I can go do that first, and do all that walking and riding buses or not. That is what is scaring me. We had to make another appointment, since we missed the first one due to me feeling like crap, so we can't reschedule again. I will just do my best to get through it, and get back here, then out to the hospital to get checked out. I wish I had my car working right now, since if I did, I swear that I'd go RIGHT NOW. That is how bad I feel. It is supposed to storm like crazy with sleet and rain tomorrow, so this should be an interesting day to be out walking in.

I will print out the list of symptoms tonight, and bring those with me tomorrow to the hospital. That way I won't get too nervous, trying to explain how I have been feeling. I weighed myself earlier, and I am up to 105, so I haven't lost any weight, thankfully. But wow, I just can't stand this aweful feeling I am having now. It is like my head is pounding, my whole body aches, and I feel like throwing up. I am scared. I pray this is not something really and truely serious.

I hate that this had to happen on my friend's birthday, which is tomorrow (Feb. 2nd) and I had to be writing and telling him this, but I guess one of the best presents I could give him, is to go get checked out at the hospital. He is the one that is diabetic and been on me like crazy to go get checked out.

All weekend I have felt so trapped, scared, and like I couldn't breathe, and I think some of that is just from fear and anxiety, so I have to stay as calm as possible. At times I was just in the recliner for hours, unable to just move to do anything! That is just not the way I am! I mean this time around, I have no motivation or energy whatsoever! I want to just sleep, and sleep, and then sleep some more!

I am off now. I need to get some Jell-O or something to get down in me, to hopefully help me feel better. This faint and odd feeling is too scary for me.

I hope that this all turns out to just be stress and depression, and nothing is seriously wrong with me.

Please pray for me. I need all of the prayers I can get right now.

Avatar for cl_d_minnick
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 02-02-2004 - 1:19pm

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