Still not doing so hot :(
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| Fri, 02-27-2004 - 11:29pm |
Also, Wednesday, I had an appointment with my CDE/dietician. I was dreading the appointment for fear that I would hear that I gained more weight. Well, my fears came true. I did gain, nine pounds since December! Is that even possible?!!! I have come to the harsh reality that I have been eating way too much. I think my CDE was even surprised by that. So we decided for me to go back on a more formalized meal plan. Originally it was going to be 1200 calories, but she said it's actually about 1400. When I look at it, I realize how much I have been eating. I fooled myself into thinking that I wasn't eating that much, but my portion sizes have been much, much bigger than they should be. I really think I did let things get out of control. Since being on the pump, I have gotten into the pattern of thinking that I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want and not have to worry about it. Unfortunately, I do have to worry about it. I think that it has affected my numbers and my weight. I loved the freedom of the pump SO much that I figured that all I had to do was bolus whenever I wanted something to eat, so I gave in to temptation, cravings, or any urges to eat. OF course I realize now, that the more food I ate, the more insulin I took, the more hungry I got, etc, etc, etc....it got into a vicious cycle. And then there would be times when I didn't adjust my insulin properly to the food I ate, so then I had to correct the high with more insulin. Of course my weight was going to go up, what did I expect? Even with my exercise, it wasn't enough. I tend to believe that I was feeling denied, so I let myself eat. Sometimes I just don't understand why I can't just eat and not worry about it.
So far I have been trying to stick to my meal plan and I think that I have been doing pretty well, though not perfect. I am not as hungry as I expected, so I am happy about that. As for weight, I guess I'll just have to see how that goes. But I think now that I realize what was wrong, and if I continue to follow the meal plan and exercise, I hopefullly will see the results.
Just thought I would check in with you all. I will continue to let you know how things go.
Thanks for reading and all your support,
Andrea

(((hugs)))
So sorry to hear of your rollercoaster ride. I have been there myself I am afraid and it was the biggest harsh reality awakening of my life. I also know all to well the temptations to eat what ever I want and just adjust with the pump, which as you have found out is not good at all. I'm glad to hear that you saw your CDE and she helped you to figure out what to do to see if it does help you out some. Also do know that when your in very good control it seems that most diabetics gain some weight in which I did as well after getting on the pump. How ever I am doing my best to loose the unwanted added pounds I put on. It is a slow process that I really wish I could speed up, but I guess the slower the weight comes off the better chances of keeping it off. So just know I relate to what your saying completely and that I have been where you are once to many times.
Just know that I am always here for you. You will get over this hurdle and will once again regain your control over the diabetes as will I. We can do it, but have to work on what we both seem to be doing wrong and as you said it is way to big portion sizes, eating when, and what ever we want. I will work on it as you are doing, which with some time we will be back to our usual selves again. So keep up the work and do let me know how your doing, because I really want to know since we have things in common. I will also do the same as you with keeping you informed of how I am doing. Take care and do have some fun with laughter in the fun!
Andrea,
The tighter your control the less amount of food you need. You were feeding your insulin and not the other way around. I am frankly glad you found out it was only 9 pounds. We all need to weight and measure our food. Our eyes can really deceive us.
I am wishing you luck getting that nine pounds off. I am glad you are enjoying your pump. Take care of yourself and it will get better soon,
Mary Frances
cl-maryfrances40
Andrea - As
Smoochdog (aka Michelle)
My weight is going to be an ongoing struggle. I am working on it, but it's hard. I'm trying to stick to my meal plan, but i've veered away from it a little bit. That's going to be a challenge. You find yourself eating a little something here and there and then you get totatlly off track. I guess it's a first step realizing what I need to work on.
Thank you all again for your support and responsed. I am really hoping to get things back on track, and it's so nice to know that I have the support of you all.
Andrea