Any direction or assistance - PLEASE!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2004
Any direction or assistance - PLEASE!
9
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 12:47pm
Hello,

First I would like to thank you for taking a look at this post. I've read a few of the posts and I hope this board can assist me or point me a direction for assistance.

Next, my name is Jill and here is the story: my mom (61) went into a diabetic coma on Dec. 31. She had been ill the week prior to admission with what we thought was a bad case of the flu. In the ER, they found that she had had a very slight stroke (in the week prior to her being omitted), her blood pressure was high, and she had a blood sugar level of 1600. I know right now you are saying HOLY COW! She came out of the coma five days later. She had some other complications but was moved to a rehab on Feb 2.

Here is my dilemma: at this time there is nothing medically wrong with my mother but we are unable to motivate her or to get her to do physical therapy. Oh, should have told you, she was a nurse! She prefers to lay in bed and comes up with excuses not to sit up, get out of bed, or to do PT.

Is there somewhere that "you" can direct me or can any of you offer advice or ideas?

Thanks again for taking the time to read this.

Sincerely and frustrated,

Jill

Avatar for happyscrapper40
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 4:46pm
Hi! Has your mom been screened for depression? Depression and diabetes sometimes go along together. It sounds from your description that she might be a little blue. If she already takes a medication for depression, it might need to be adjusted too. Let us know how it goes! Michele H.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2004
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 6:00pm
Michele H,

Thank you for responding. We've asked for a psyche consultant 3 weeks ago. We are still waiting.

I was not aware the depression and diabetes went hand in hand. Thanks for the information.

Jill

Avatar for cl_maryfrances40
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 11:37pm

Hi Jill,


Welcome to the board. My name is Mary Frances and I am one of the community leaders for this board. I am a registered nurse and a type 2 diabetic. Any advise I may give is not a substitute for seeking medical advise from a health care practitioner of your choice.


Holy Cow is not how I felt when I saw your mother's blood sugar. She certainly has been a diabetic for a while and is lucky to have survived. I almost fell out of my chair.


Michelle is correct in her suggestion about depression. Both the diabetes and stroke could be causing your mother to have depression. The link between depression and diabetes is the seratonin uptake in the brain. Both makes the other worse. I hope you get the psych eval soon as your mother is much too young to just give up.


Please feel free to come back here and ask your questions and post your comments. We are here to help as much as we can. This is a safe place to visit and to scream and cry if necessary.


A very gentle hug,



Mary Frances


cl-maryfrances40




Edited 3/2/2004 11:39:06 PM ET by cl-maryfrances40
Avatar for cl_d_minnick
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 3:08am

Oh Jill, I am so sorry to hear about your mother. I can tell you from my experience that being in a coma due to blood sugars being so high is hard in its self, but to add a stroke to that has to be even harder. I would say that your mother is suffering from depression, which it is so great to hear that you are getting a pschological evatuation done for her and may it be very soon. You are doing everything within your powers to get her feeling better, but that is all you can do for now until you have more to work with such as the evaluation of what is causing her to be so non compliance with the physical therapy. You can only do so much for her before she needs to take some action on her own so just wait to see what the evaluation can tell you and go from there.


I pray that you find something to get her going again with the physical therapy, becuase I know how hard it is to deal with when all you want is for her to herself and live. Just hang in there the best you can and if you need an ear to just listen let this be the place for you or even a big hug or shoulder to cry on you can rely on us here. We are here 24 hours 7 days a week for everybody, so use this board to help yourself with all that is going on with your mother. Many of us feel for you in so many ways. Sending your mother and yourself some

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 3:55am
Sorry for such a long response...but wasnt able to figure out what to cut out. Hopefully you will find some useful info here.

Actually would say there are THREE things going on that would indicate depression!!

1) diabetes

2) stroke

3) her being a nurse

I add the 3rd because my guess is she has either treated or at least seen some of the really sad effects of stroke AND diabetes if its uncontrolled. I'm guessing she knows that coming back from a stroke can be a real challenge. After several serious ones over several years combined with his lack of motivation to do his exercises my father really lost a lot from the first stroke which really weakened his left side.

She may also be doing a guilt trip on herself because she probably has been living with the knowledge that she probably was a diabetic for a while,while she tried to deny it. So try to avoid the "if onlies" and the "should have or could have's." I mean that both in terms of family and her. No one can go back and change what happened, so dont waste the effort.

If there are things she has in the past enjoyed(whether she had time for them or not) try to tempt her with the things that she still could enjoy and that might give her incentive to start fighting back. If she wants grandchildren or has some try to get her involved or interested in that. If she seems to be overwhelmed....encourage her to take SMALL steps. That doesnt mean encouraging her to go on an outing. That might seem too overwhelming. For her, even sitting up and moving into a chair may take a LOT of work. If you focus on the "outcome" like an outing that may see too too much. It might be useful to find out if you can what actions the stroke may have affected. I'm guessing movement, balance, it may have also done weird things to her vision, so she may not see things clearly. Try to focus on things she can or will likely be able to do. She also may have very mixed emotions and feelings around being dependent on others.

Would also suggest you may find it VERY helpful personally to see if there are support groups, etc for family members of stroke patients. That can help you in 1)getting support yourself and 2)finding out what services and even what places are accessible in your area should she have major mobility problems. Stroke patients may seem to have a different personality, and get angry, or impatient. Also strokes do strange things to a body....first struggle my father had was because his speech was garbled. He was very upset about something and we even tried the alphabet sheet and the only way we found out what he was worried about was because he pointed to my mother, and i understood he was worried about something to do with her. thankfully I remembered a comment he had made a couple years earlier about if anything happened to him, i needed to do a specific thing.

As a person who took 5-6 months to just get back to work after a badly broken leg.....whatever you do....be patient. If she seems to take a "year" to sit up(means she does it real slow and seems to take forever) or when she stands or attempts it...instead of just standing up, it seems to happen in slow motion....please don't rush her. My sister and i had a number of "testy" conversations when I would be standing up and especially once I was standing, i wouldnt start moving fast enough to suit her. My guess(and i admit this is an assumption) is that if she was in a coma and has been laying down most of the time....her body isn't used to being upright...and as I told my sister...I justy needed time to get my bearings. I saw the same struggles when my father was coming back from his first stroke. If she likes animals and there are family pets that can sometimes really help. At a point when my dad appeared to have almost no control over his right arm......which just sort of hung down.....sister and I both noticed when a family dog came over by his chair and he somehow managed to move his upper arm so he COULD pet that dog!!!

Also let her do things she can if she wants to and encourage her to do those things she CAN do(maybe not perfectly or very fast but let her do what she can).

Avatar for happyscrapper40
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 6:31pm
I may be wrong, but three weeks seems to me to be entirely too long to wait for a psych evaluation. I think you may have to start bugging the place that should be accomplishing that deed- I would call twice a day to see if it had been done! It needs to be done within a week. My Phys. Asst. was able to diagnose me using a simple check sheet and just by listening to me and my symptoms (I am sure the crying and sobbing during the appt. surely helped! LOL ). I know some people are afraid to admit they are depressed for fear people will think they are mental cases or crazy, and I know I probably had been depressed for 25 years before I ever sought treatment for it at age 38. I just knew something had to be wrong with me then- I was 5 pounds away from my goal weight, walking 15-20 miles a week, and had a nice tan (LOL) but I wasn't able to fall asleep at night and I felt miserable! Depression/anxiety runs in my family, too. Mine is more anxiety related now. Hope you are able to get some help for your mom! My grandma was in the hospital about six years ago here in town with a blood infection close to sepsis. They took her off all the medications she was on and started over a few at a time to see what she really needed. She was in rehab for three weeks and she was not complying with treatment at all. In fact she became delusional and so hateful and she thought that the nurses were trying to kill her with huge knives,etc. I finally pinned the dr. down (I stayed at the hospital for 4 hours until he finally showed up for rounds after they told me that night that I would have to take her home (TO MY HOUSE !!) the next day...when I questioned him I realized that they had not resumed her antidepressant. They began Paxil the next day, let her stay conditionally for another week, and by the end of that week, she was a little kitty cat, telling all the nurses how much she lovey-doveyed them and they were loving her. It was like the twilight zone! LOL She also became compliant and completed her rehab treatment! MH
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 10:00pm
Sent you a lengthy email. Be sure to read auntydoxzz' and happyscrapper40's notes.

If there is any way I can help, just respond to the email address you'll have on that email I sent, I think. If not, send me something here and I'll send the email address.

(((hugs)))

Kathi

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2004
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 7:27pm
To all you wonderful ladies,

I'm still at work and only have a minute but I wanted to thank you, all, for your advice, experiences, support, and the warm and fuzzy feeling I received from reading your posts and e-mail. I truly appreciate all of it. I have read all the messages but have not had the time, this week, to digest them;that is tomorrow's job. I just didn't want to wait another day to thank you.

I will be in touch.

Jill

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
Sat, 03-06-2004 - 12:51am
Jill~

You're most welcome. We try to give & take support as needed. So, good luck and come any time. We'll be here.

Kathi ;-)