Poem on food & diet (God is mentioned)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Poem on food & diet (God is mentioned)
3
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 3:10pm
IN THE BEGINING

In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli
and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red
vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live
long and healthy lives.

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Ben
and Jerry's and Krispy Kreme. And Satan said, "You
want hot fudge with that?" And Man said "Yes!" and
Woman said, "I'll have another with sprinkles."

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might
keep the figure that Man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat,
and sugar from the cane, and combined them. And Woman
went from size 2 to size 10.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."

And Satan presented crumbled Bleu Cheese dressing and
garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened
their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy
vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them."

And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut shrimp,
butter dipped lobster chunks and chicken-fried steak
so big it needed its own platter. And Man's
cholesterol went through the roof.

God then brought forth running shoes so that his
Children might lose those extra pounds.

And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote
control so Man would not have to toil changing the
channels. And man and woman laughed and cried before
the flickering light and started wearing stretch
jogging suits.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in
fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced
the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them in
animal fats and added copious quantities of salt. And
Man put on more pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume
fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonald's and the 99-cent double
cheeseburger. Then Lucifer said, "You want fries with
that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size 'em!" And
Satan said "It is good."

And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

And Satan created HMOs.

Amen
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 4:32pm
This is so great!!! Am forwarding it to one of my email ports so I can forward it to friends.

Thanks so much for posting it!

;-)

Avatar for cl_maryfrances40
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 10:36pm

It doesn't matter who your God is or who your Satan is, that is a wonderful poem. It amde me laugh, which I needed today.


Thanks for your creativity!

Mary Frances


cl-maryfrances40

Avatar for cl_d_minnick
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 5:29am
Oh Angie, I love the poem with it being so funny and yet true. I can honestly say that it tells many truths about
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