Repost - Min68
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| Fri, 06-25-2004 - 5:48pm |
I just didn't want this to get lost.
Hi - This is the first time I have been in an iVillage chat room. I was diagnosed with Typ 2 diabetes almost a year ago at age 35. I had gestational diabetes at age 22 controlled by diet. I did fine until I was on steroids for ulcerative colitis a few years ago which caused my blood sugar to go up and then ultimately I was diagnosed with diabetes. I have had ups and downs this past year but am needing some support. My husband is not very supportive. He doesn't take this seriously at all. I am in need of supportive friends and advice on how to deal with unsupportive husbands. None of my friends, family, or co-workers have diabetes and don't know how I feel or understand my frustrations and challenges. Any advice would be welcomed.
Thank you,
Mindy
Elkhorn, NE
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.

I'm a Nebraskan, too - not too far from you, actually. I am near Hebron. I wanted to say hello. I haven't been on this board very long, either - only a couple of posts, either. I was re-diagnosed about two months ago, and have been working hard to get things under control with diet and exercise.
I'm not sure what help I could be in regard to your husband, as I'm not married... In what ways is he unsupportive? I'm sure there are many people on this board who would have some good suggestions for you.
I do know that my friends, while supportive, don't completely understand the nature of diabetes and what it means for me, or why I get frustrated or worried when my numbers seem to be "stuck" or out of control. I find that people have the impression that this is just a temporary "diet," and that once I've lost the weight or have my numbers under control, that I won't be diabetic anymore, and I can go back to eating whatever, whenever. Or why, like last weekend, when I ate at a company function where they were serving hamburgers (with big buns), baked beans, potato chips, and cake... why I had a hard time making some choices on what to eat. I have one friend who thinks I am going overboard with everything that I am limiting. It's hard to explain sometimes. But really, I just try to answer their questions, and explain as best I can why I'm doing what I'm doing. Education seems to be the key.
I think you're right... I think people who don't have it, or have never had a friend/relative who has had it, have a hard time understanding the frustrations and fears that can come along with this. I once confided in a friend that thinking of the possible complications really frightened me - he tried to be supportive, but he didn't know what to say to me, and he admitted that. And really, what could he say? He told me to keep a positive attitude - which is good advice.
I hope you post again... I think there's a very supportive group of folks here!
- Gina
Hi Mindy and welcome to the board. It is so hard to get a spouse to understand how it feels since they have no clue or idea of what it is even like with never having it themselves. All you can do is try to explain to him how it feels by expressing your concerns, frustrations, and worries so that way he knows how your really feeling. All he can do for you is give your support and try to be understanding about how your feeling. Don't feel he is the only spouse not being supportive, because he is not.
My husband thinks that if I do a few things a certain way all will be just fine, but what he doesn't get is that things could be fine for a while only for me to have a low blood sugar even though I have done everything I could to prevent that from happening. He knows I am a brittle diabetic and have problems with going low since I get no signs of symptoms of it and even have been known to function just fine with a blood sugar of 14. He does try very hard to help me, but does not know how it is to live so many years (over 29 now) with diabetes and go through days of big frustration. It is something he will never understand, but he does try to be supportive as much as at all possible. I mean come on it isn't like we asked to be diabetic, but something we have to learn to live with each and every day of our lives.
I really hope with all my might that your spouse starts to give you the support you so need. Just Trust me it takes time for them to adjust to things and learn all they can about diabetes at the same time. I know you will see him change eventually, but for now just know that we are all here for you and will give you all the support you could ever ask for. Take care and do have one excellent day!
I know you've been with us for a while, and want to thank you for your input.