still angry after 26 years...
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| Thu, 08-19-2004 - 3:09am |
I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes on my 7th birthday. Happy Birthday to Me! No one ever told me what diabetes was. No one ever explained anything to me. I was told that I had to take shots and eat a certain diet and that was it. I remember going back to school after my week's stay in the hospital. The kids wanted to know why I had been gone so long. I simply said, "because I am diabetic now." After that I was treated as though I had ebola virus. Suddenly I had no friends, adults acted as though I might drop dead at any minute, I couldn't eat what everyone else was eating, and I felt like crap all the time.
My mom and I did the "Ron Santo walk for Diabetes" every year. I think I believed that they would find a cure until I was about 14. After that I just got tired of hearing the same story. I now firmly believe that diabetes, like cancer and AIDS will never be "cured" because we make the pharmaceutical companies too damned much money.
Am I bitter? You bet I am.
When I was 9 I was in a coma because I ate 2 pounds of candy after my best (ONLY) friend moved away. I had no idea I could have killed myself. I was just drowning my sorrows in chocolate. No one ever told me WHY I couldn't eat candy. They just said, "you can't have it."
I am now 33 years old. I am a mother of 3 kids. I am clinically depressed...yet another title to add to my list of: asthma, diabetes, and hypothyroidism. I have had Bell's Palsey (sp?), retinal infarcts, and I am about 80 pounds overweight.
I am miserable. I could really use some emotional support from others in my shoes.
Anyone out there game?
Cindy

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I feel pretty haggard myself tonight. Haven't been on the board for quite a while.
I'm type II (dx 1/23/04), and have been maintained fairly well over the last two months with a few ups & downs. Dropped from an 11.3 down to 5.6 on my A1C in June.
Wednesday was not a good day. Had to drive Monday about 20 miles to have some blood taken at the endo's office. Doc wanted a fractionated AP done. Received a call from the MA today at 1:15PM (of course their office didn't reopen until 2PM), but she didn't say what she wanted. I called right at 2PM to be told that she would be in a meeting until 2:30PM, and the receptionist didn't know when she'd be leaving. I went off my rocker worrying. Called back only to find that she'd left for the day right after her 2PM meeting. Talked to another MA who couldn't find my chart and didn't know what the first MA wanted. I hate incompetence! It definitely is a sign that I'm getting old!
This whole thing of diabetes really upsets me and punches my buttons! Finally talked to the "team leader" who said she couldn't find the file, and couldn't tell me even if she did find it because of HIPPA. Well, I'm a medical professional, and I know the HIPPA rules!
At any rate this all got me shaken up, and started crying. It's terrible being alone and not knowing what's going on!
Guess the office called her at home. She left a message at 4:30PM stating that even after reading the instructions for the fractionated test (which she'd never done before), she'd used a purple top instead of a red top which was necessary. So, they want me to drive back in for that one test. THEY CAN BLOW HOT AIR! I have an appt with the endo and his PA Monday. They can do it then.
This diabetes thing is a big pain in the ass!!! This on top of other medical problems
sure makes it much worse.
My best wishes to you. Hang in there. We're here to support each other. (((hugs)))
of Friends here and Good advice or just a
caring ear to listen.
I'm sorry you are so upset and angry. I have
been P**d Off and Fed Up many times through
the years, but I can't say I've ever been angry
about having Diabetes. I was more angry the first
few yrs. of having such severe pain and extreme
fatigue with Rheumatoid Arthritis at age 24 and then
Hypothyroidism to boot. I had so much to do with
the job of looking after my family plus a puppy plus
I was baby-sitting 2 other babies to make some extra
dough.(One was colic LOL..good for me). I did go into
Depression.
I was dxd with Diabetes 1 a couple months after I turned 3.
We weren't taught much about Diabetes either, except No Sugar,
lots of exercise, taking needles(winging it 'cuz no cool meters
back then) and healthy meals. There were no classes for Diabetes
and no Diabetics in town except for my 2 brothers and I.
I will have had Type 1 Diabetes for 43 yrs. this coming Dec. 18.
My one Bro has had it a little over 45 yrs.(now he gets angry
about Diabetes), and my oldest Bro past away last Oct. after
having Diabetes for 49 yrs.(He loved his Pepsi and it wasn't Diet).
I am doing pretty good for the past 7 yrs., no longer depressed.
Life has cooled down Thank God.
Things will get better for you also. You are most likely over-
whelmed with a busy life and of course Diabetes. Three kids?
Wow, you have your hands full. But they are truly Great to have.
Be Proud of yourself for what you have accomplished(Being alive
and having 3 little one's, are 4 accomplishments right there).
If possible take a little time for yourself(ya I know). You
will come out of this in one piece(probably tired) but feeling
good about yourself. If ya wanna chat or ask questions or just
to vent feel free!
And NO you are not the only nutcase on this planet. LOL. Sorry
this is SSOOO long a message.
(((HUGS)))*** Carrlie*** :)
Hi Kathi:
I am sorry you had to go through all that for
nothing on Wednesday. Inconsiderate and incompetent
people make my blood boil when it is at someone else's
expense. Ya THEY CAN GO BLOW HOT AIR for sure!
I'm glad to hear that your A1C was Great in June.
Good for you! I've been away for sometime also. Hope
I didn't miss anything Big. Take Care and I hope
it's not TOO hot in Arizona for ya.
***Carlie*** :)
I am one of the community leaders for this board who has been a type 1 for 29
I'll second that rant!
I've only been diagnosed since May.
Please tune in later for a new signature. :)
~Christie
I got diagnosed as a Type 2 at 34 with no family history and no weight problems, etc. etc. Nearly six years later, I discoverd that I'm actually an adult-onset Type 1 diabetic. I was able to take oral meds (but very high doses) for five years, and am now on insulin. I'm telling you this because I also didn't really follow the traditional profile of a Type 2 diabetic. Traditional guidelines for managing my diabetes didn't work. The super high doses of meds was also a tip-off. If you find the same thing for yourself, you may want to talk to your doctor about having a GAD 65 protein test to see if your beta cells are in good shape.
Hang in there.
HMBalison
Hmmm..
Please tune in later for a new signature. :)
~Christie
I also have asthma, GERD, clinical depression and anxiety, asthma, fibromyalgia, Asperger's Syndrome, and will probably develop arthritis sometime in the next five years, since my older sister already has it.
But you know what? I don't let it get to me. I take my prescribed medications. I monitor my food intake and test my blood sugar six or seven times a day. I exercise as much as I can. I participate in discussion boards on the internet where I can talk to other people with diabetes and get support. It takes too much energy to be angry at something I can't change, and energy is something I don't have a lot of, so I try to expend it on things I CAN do something about. I can't not have diabetes. There's no cure for it, at least not yet. But there are ways to avoid complications, and I don't need those, so I do as much as I can to prevent them. I try to keep my hemoglobin A1C numbers below 7, and I visit the endocrinologist twice a year.
Take your anger and funnel it into something worthwhile. Get involved in your local branch of the Diabetes Association. Take part in fundraising. Talk to people about diabetes, about what Type I diabetes is and how it affects you and why it's so important to raise funds for research. This year I participated in the Walk to End Juvenile Diabetes and raised $100. I also signed up for the Speaker's Bureau at my local branch of the Diabetes Association so that I can help to educate other people about diabetes.
Hi Rainbowoman,
Welcome to the board. I like your spunk! Like you I have several health challanges besides diabetes that in many ways limit me more than my diabetes. But being started on insulin has been much tougher than I expected but I am making it work as well as I can. I also don't want the complications of diabetes and thus far neither my husband or myself have developed any. We just have to keep working to stay as well
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