still angry after 26 years...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
still angry after 26 years...
17
Thu, 08-19-2004 - 3:09am
Am I the only nutcase on the planet that is still just unbelievably p/o'd about being diabetic?!

I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes on my 7th birthday. Happy Birthday to Me! No one ever told me what diabetes was. No one ever explained anything to me. I was told that I had to take shots and eat a certain diet and that was it. I remember going back to school after my week's stay in the hospital. The kids wanted to know why I had been gone so long. I simply said, "because I am diabetic now." After that I was treated as though I had ebola virus. Suddenly I had no friends, adults acted as though I might drop dead at any minute, I couldn't eat what everyone else was eating, and I felt like crap all the time.

My mom and I did the "Ron Santo walk for Diabetes" every year. I think I believed that they would find a cure until I was about 14. After that I just got tired of hearing the same story. I now firmly believe that diabetes, like cancer and AIDS will never be "cured" because we make the pharmaceutical companies too damned much money.

Am I bitter? You bet I am.

When I was 9 I was in a coma because I ate 2 pounds of candy after my best (ONLY) friend moved away. I had no idea I could have killed myself. I was just drowning my sorrows in chocolate. No one ever told me WHY I couldn't eat candy. They just said, "you can't have it."


I am now 33 years old. I am a mother of 3 kids. I am clinically depressed...yet another title to add to my list of: asthma, diabetes, and hypothyroidism. I have had Bell's Palsey (sp?), retinal infarcts, and I am about 80 pounds overweight.

I am miserable. I could really use some emotional support from others in my shoes.

Anyone out there game?

Cindy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 1:55am
Had a repeat A1C last Monday. It came back at 6.0. So, that's still good.

I haven't been around much. It's hot, and seems to only rain on the opposite side of the valley when it does rain. We should be done with our dust storms in a couple of more weeks.

There was a really big pile-up week before last west aways from my city. A dust storm came up, a car stalled with its lights on and was rear-ended. A big rig ran into the cars killing himself (sad as he was on his last run before retiring from trucking). Then another rig ran into the first rig who ran into two or three other cars. It was terrible. Think 6 people were killed, and several injured. The dust storms can be really dangerous.

Then, of course, after the dust storm we have the monsoon rains...hard and fast.

This last weekend I had hail the size of golf balls in my front yard. They actually knocked holes into my plant leaves. Again, hard & fast. Sure hope there's no damage to my roof. I can't climb up to see.

Talk to you later. Take care of yourself!

Kathi

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 2:16am
It's wonderful that you have found ways to channel your energy, and that you have a plan that seems to work for you. I'm very happy that you are able to participate in Diabetes Foundation projects.

I have several medical problems as well, and some days it just doesn't seem like it's even worth getting out of bed. We each try to do what we can on a daily basis.

We do the best with the tools we've been given or have learned to utilize. One of those is this discussion board where we can vent our frustrations, ask for assistance, or share our triumphs.

I'm glad that each person has their own input and is able to express it in a

non-judgemental venue. Please let's keep it that way, ok?

Avatar for cl_maryfrances40
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 2:34am

Kathi,


Congratulations of your wonderful A1C. You are really doing well, especially for one so newly diagnosed.


Right now we are having terrible winds and its has been cold. I went to go out into my garden tonight to see if some tomatoes were ripe. I almost got blown away. We have water extra because the wind dries out the plants and lwn so quickly. Anyway some critter is eating my big tomatoes. I have an heirloom variety which is really sweet and produces fruit in the one pound size. Something is eating a quarter of a tomato at one sitting. I imagine it must be a possum or skunk. My gravenstein apples are starting to come and I made an apple pie without a crust for dinner. It sure tasted good.


Just wanted to say hi and I am glad to read that you are doing so well. Keep a cheerful on!

Mary Frances


cl-maryfrances40

Co-CL Diabetes Board


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 3:00am
Hello, maryfrances! I've had diabetes for so long, to me it's just another part of life. I cannot imagine NOT having diabetes.

I was a "bad diabetic" for several years after I left home and didn't have my mother nagging me all the time to take care of my diabetes. My doctor finally hauled me into her office after getting some not-very-good A1C results and told me I'd better shape up or else I would be in serious trouble. (All my life my mother told me that I was going to go blind and have my legs amputated and be on kidney dialysis if I didn't take care of my diabetes, and after hearing it so often I just ignored anyone who told me that.)

Unfortunately, due to my various other problems, I've had a hard time finding and keeping employment, and poverty makes it hard to care for yourself properly, especially when you have chronic diseases. I had to go through a lot of paperwork but I finally got myself declared a person with disabilities, and that means the goverment picks up the tab for most of my medical needs. Depression also makes it hard to take care of myself, but fortunately medication takes care of that.

Avatar for cl_maryfrances40
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 08-29-2004 - 11:39pm

I have been diabetic for 15 years and I know what you mean about it justs becomes part of you. I was started on insulin this past March and that has thrown all kinds of wrenches at me! I asked for a consultation with a dietitian for meal planning help since I hadn't been to see one since I was diagnosed. The dietitian started me on carbo counting instead of exchange counting. What a difference that has made. I was shocked at how limited I had made my meal plan while I tried as hard as I could to lose weight, exercise and get my bllod sugar down. Obviously I needed to go insulin and probably earlier than I was started but that certainly was a hard decision to make. For you of course there wasn't a choice.


I am also distressed at what it costs to manage this chronic disease. For example my insulin is covered by my husband's health plan but my syringes aren't. Now that is pretty dumb. I have to have a perscription for both and I certainly can't take the insulin without the syringes. My glucometer sticks are covered but not the lancets. Luckily I am not limited in the number of sticks I can use per day like people on Medicare here in the lower 48.


I hope you have had a great weekend and that all is going well with you,

Mary Frances


cl-maryfrances40

Co-CL Diabetes Board


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Mon, 08-30-2004 - 11:44pm
About ten years ago I had to go on welfare temporarily as I had just lost my job and had no savings due to just having completed five years of university. I was told that welfare would not cover my insulin syringes because "we don't cover them for drug addicts, and diabetics could sell their needles to drug addicts, so we don't cover them." I used and re-used my disposable syringes until they were so blunt they were painful to use. Fortunately I changed case workers sometime after that and the new case worker arranged for me to have them covered until I got a job.



Contact your nearest branch of the Diabetes Association. They might be able to suggest some way of getting your syringes paid for. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
Sat, 09-04-2004 - 1:49am
Thanks for the comment. So sorry about your tomatoes. We've got a moderate wind tonight. My poor plants aren't faring very well. It's been so hot, and you're correct with the wind they dry out very quickly.

Take care...

K

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