Allow me a whoa is me party for today!
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Allow me a whoa is me party for today!
| Mon, 09-20-2004 - 12:58pm |
I found out 2 weeks ago that diabetes is now a part of my life. Im sure I was not the first person to experience the fear and shock that is part of finding out. This year I have decided to call Hell Yr. I started it out being in a hospital after having a major breakdown and was missing for 3 days before I wondered back home not really remmembering what had happened. After being released I was allowed to go home without any help as far as followups or anything else other than the meds that kept me so sedated I was not able to deal with my husband or kids. I finally found a Dr that was willing to take me off almost 750mg of meds after she discovered I had been misdiagnosed. I now take abot 30mgs total and things seemed to finally lookup when I became ill. I have had problems in the past with high tryglecerides so I figured thats what it must be. LOL little did I know that the meds that were to help me with the TRY. problem were damaging my pancreas and liver. So now here I sit in a state of anger and just plain disbelief. Before ever being admitted into the hospital I was a well versed woman. Now Im lucky if I remember what day of the week it is. I have my kids now caring for me. My 11 yr old daughter refuses to leave my side for fear something may happen to me. I have a son 14 so angry that his mom can no longer do the thing she used to do with him. Oh and lets not forget my daughter who just turned 20 and had to come home from college to care for me and help her daddy out with everyday things. So how do I get past this feeling of helplessness and worthlessness. How do I get to a point where I even want to continue living again. I guess I will close for now...thank you if anyone out there is listening
fatima
fatima

Hi fatima!
Thank you for listening. There are just times when talking to your own family feel more like a burden than anything else. I am taking Lexapro,Lorazepam,Ambien and Wellbutrine. For the diabetes they gave me actos, which I will be taking for a month and then if there are no changes I will have to begin using insulin. I have suffered from Depression for many yrs but this is the first time I have gotten any help for it. I also have been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. I was doing so good at keeping my focus on what was important and finally I had begun to see the light at the end of the tunnel and then I was hit with this.
I feel so guilty for putting my family thru so mush and it seems we have a ways to go yet. Im sorry about the lose of your mom. I guess I just feel worthless right now. My husband tries so hard to make thing easier for me but I just makes me feel worse at times. We came so close to getting a divorce because of the state I was in. He refused to leave no matter how hard I pushed him. Cheryl please forgive me if I tend to go all over the place with this. Its just its been awhile since I have opened up to others. Thank you for your invite to continue using this forum as a contact point. And above all thank you for listening. :)
fatima
Hey I will listen anytime!!!
Thank you for being so supportive. I took your advice and called my Dr to talk about altering my meds. I have an appointment to see her next week. I also signed up for an Diabetic Educational workshop. I will continue to keep you updated.
Fatima