need a kick in the butt to get back on t
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| Mon, 10-11-2004 - 8:03pm |
Hello everyone -
Some of you may remember me from earlier. I was diagnosed with Type II diabetes in October 2003 and put on oral meds and given a diet and exercise plan.
When I was first diagnosed my Ac1 was 7.7. In February 2004 it was 6.6. October 2004 it is 6.7 I had other readings in there that I do not remember as well as I have it checked every 3 months. My doc says I am doing well and he just would like to see my Ac1 come down to a 6.
I originally lost 13 pounds and have kept all but 3 of it off. I went from 142 to 129 and am now at 132.
I have increased my exercise and could do better there and could do better about my diet but still feel I have come a long way. So can someone please tell me why I feel so down and depressed about this all over again?
I am on medication for anxiety and depression and have checked in with my doc on these meds so it is not that. It really is a feeling of "being broken" and getting "fed up" and I have only been at this a year.
Sorry to come back and be so grumpy but I really am starting to feel sorry for myself and that is not an attractive trait.
Thanks for listening.
Michelle S.
http://adam-michelle-small.home.comcast.net/ - personal web page
dwell in possibility" ~ emily dickinson

I think you are doing great, and you should believe what your doctor is telling you. Your weight is good, you're exercising, and your HBAIC is practically normal. It would be wonderful to get to 6.0, but 6.7 is nothing to be ashamed of.
That said, I completely understand your feelings of being fed up with diabetes, of being "broken" by diabetes. I've had diabetes for 6 years, and it has taken me a LONG time to accept it. There are days where I still feel very down about having to deal with diabetes. I think if you asked all of us managing this disease, people would all tell you that it does get to you. Let's face it--it is a struggle to have to manage EVERYTHING we eat. To think about exercising. To have high blood sugars for no reason even when we do everything "right."
There is a good book out called "Diabetes Burnout : Preventing It, Surviving It, Finding Inner Peace" by William H. Polonsky. I heard the author speak, and he gets it--he understands what diabetics cope with. The book uses a lot of humor and true stories. I found it helpful during my last bout of diabetesitis. Another book I've found very helpful is "Meditations on Diabetes: Strengthening Your Spirit in Every Season"
by Catherine Feste. The author has also just come out with a daily mediations book using much of the content from the first book. I prefer the first book but others might like the daily entry structure of the second book, which is titled, "365 Daily Meditations for People with Diabetes" by Catherine Feste. Finally, Graham Kerr has written a cookbook/health book and a companion journal book for Type II diabetes called
"Charting a Course to Wellness: Creative Ways of Living with Heart Disease and Diabetes"
and "My Personal Path to Wellness: A Journal for Living Creatively with Chronic Illness", respectively. I'm using the journal book at the moment, and it's very encouraging.
Hang in there. Your feelings are normal. You're not alone feeling overwhelmed by diabetes. Just know that you are doing a good job taking care of yourself, and your note tonight is an ecouragement to me to take good care of myself, too.
HMBalison
Michelle,
You are doing wonderful and you deserve a huge cheer! It is tough having a chronic disease that you must manage 24/7/365 and all of us get tired now and then. By just talking about it you will be better. There is a lot of depression with diabetes and diabetes causes depression to be worse. There are times when all of fall short of the goals we have set for ourselves. We all could exercise more and watch our meal plans more carefully. But none of us is prefect and the important thing is that we try to do the best we can and learn from our mistakes.
So pick yourself up and give yourself a pat on the back for as well you are doing. You really are being successful.
A very gentle hug,
Mary Frances
cl-maryfrances40
Co-CL Diabetes Board
Thanks MaryFrances - I guess I am just feeling blah-ed out by it all. Funny how it is almost a year to the date of my diagnosis and I am feeling this way. The mind works in mysterious ways. I guess it is setting in that this is forever thing; plus I am prone to bouts of depression this time of year.....
...hey guess what just got a call from the front desk at work and I GOT FLOWERS from a friend of mine....perfect timing!
Thanks for always being a gentle ear.
Michelle S.
Come by and learn more about me
www.lifeandthensome.com
dwell in possibility" ~ emily dickinson
Smoochdog (aka Michelle)
Would guess the oncoming winter might have a bit to do with it. I'm one to talk, but exercise would truly help you...30 minutes of walking a day is a good start...or so I've been told.
I've found that keeping to my 8 carb units (that's 15 per unit) daily does help with my blood sugars and I dropped quite a bit of weight between 1-23-04, and 6/04. Have gone up about 4 pounds since my last visit to the endo. I really need to exercise, but my hip pain is sometimes just to much for me. Now that I'm off the Vioxx, and reluctantly taking Bextra the pain is somewhat manageable, but not for hard walking. Am going to go back to the pool walking now that the temps here have lowered.
Good luck and I sure know how frustrating it can be!
Get lots of Vitamin D - aka sunshine, or buy one of those lights. They do work for depressive episodes.