Scared and Embaressed

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2007
Scared and Embaressed
36
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 9:46am

Hi Everyone,


I have been diabetic type 2 now for about 7yrs. With that being said, I am very afraid and embaressed to be here on this board. Not so much for what I think you folks will think of me, but more for the fact that by being here means that I have hopefully made the decision to finally do something about trying to get my bs under control. The embaressement comes from the fact that I haven't done anything to get it under control.


I am 49yrs old, this is harder to write than I thought. It really is embarassing. I have read a lot of your post before I decided to start a discussion, and feel very silly, ackward, and childish. The good ole river denial. Okay, when I woke up this morning my fasting bs was 323, I know. After one cup of coffee it was 413. Yesterday, same as today, in the mid 300's, and after my coffee it was 437. With that said, I have had the diabetes under control before during the 7yrs. since I was diagnosed. I had in under control about 2yrs. ago, and than my mom passed away 21mos. ago, and frankly I just didn't care. I was taking Lantus, injectable insulin, 32units at bedtime, and some type of fast acting 12units in the morning before I ate. My bs #'s were a lot lower than. Oh plus I was taking 5mgs. of Glipizide. I am allergic to medformin, or as some call it glucaphoge. By the way my spell checker doesn't work, so please fogive the spelling. Anyway ah ha, forgot to mention that I also weigh 215lbs, I am 5'8" and very sedatary. I have had a right eye lens replacement, because I was in the hospital about 5yrs. ago, because my A1C was 11.7, one morning I woke up(this is while I was in the hospital) and everything was extremely foggy. Like gray. That fast too. The night before I saw fine, than the next morning it was like that. So I called the nurse, they had me start fasting right away, and a couple of days later, they did a right eye lens replacement. A few days after that my sight came back just fine. During that time I would get celluiotist(sp) in my lower legs all the time, well I did get serious about controling the diabetes for a while there, and the celluiatist has never come back. At this point I have neuropathy so bad in both feet, that I hate it. So anyway after my mom passed away, I just quit using the Lantus, and the fast acting insulin. I kept taking the Glipzide, but that wasn't enough to help, so in April of this year I moved from No. Ca. to So. Ca. within a couple of weeks of being here, everytime I would give myself my insulin I would get very red welts that would itch like crazy on the injection site. Within like about 5-10mins. of giving myself the Lantus. Anyway went to see a new doctor(at the time I lived with my sister down here) he told me that it was odd to be on insulin for over a year and than get an allergic reaction to it. But, he put me Avandia, and Medformin. I told him I got sick, like I vomitted when I took medformin, but he said he was putting me on a real sm dose so that it was okay. I got so sick. I stayed on that cocktail for 2mos.(also he took me off of the glipizide), and finally after that amount of time he did another A1C(btw, the one he took when I first saw him was 10. something) and it was 9.6. I was getting really bad cramps in my upper stomach, had to go to the ER. and had to have my gall bladder removed. So off the meds I went again. Finally we moved into our own place on 9-1-07, and I finally went to see a primary care doc 3wks. ago, my blood work was terrible. My Cholesterol, both the good and bad was way up there, my tryglicirides(sp), my A1C was 8.1 so that was way better, and most of all the blood work she ordered was really not so hot. She increased my Glipizide to 10mgs a day, and it is a longer acting Glipizide than what I was on before. She had me start taking my bs's 3x's a day, fasting, before dinner, and at bedtime. The dietician contacted me, and after one week of doing this, I just quit checking my bs's because they were always so high, and when I get scared I just ignore stuff. Well I went to the eye doc. last week, only to find out that my right eye, behind the fake lens is all cloudy, and will need laser surgery, and the left eye has some optic nerve damage. I got referred to Ophthalmology, to see what needs to be done. I have to make an appt. next week. Or this week. So I started thinking about this board, my sight, my feet, my dh is also diabetic, uncontrolled, he by the way is not overweight, we have a 13yr. old ds who is not diabetic,(YET), and to be truthful all this comes down to I don't want to change, I love my pasta, I love my coffee with French Vinalla, and sugar, and I DON'T KNOW HOW TO COOK ANY DIFFERENT WAY THAN WHAT I NOW KNOW HOW TO DO! I don't even know where to start. My mom was from Germany, and my father from Al. So on that note, I learned at a young age to cook very rich and hearty meals. I am obese, I smoke, and I sedatary. I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression, and Panic Attacks,(which I do know that having such high bs's makes the Depression and P.A.'s much worse) The depression and panic attacks sometimes border on Agoraphobia. Our truck broke down about 2mos ago, so I just don't go out very much anymore. I have a 1yr old Shih Tzu dog that I used to walk for about 40mins 2 times a day. Now I really don't go out. I know that I am heading straight for heart dieases, stroke, and kidney diasese. The thing is like the foods that I eat. I was reading through one of the posts her about sweetners, and I don't care for equal, sweet and low, or splinda, but I remember once someone told me about those drops you can use(forget the name now) that are very strong, and taste a lot about suger. I of course don't like the suger free Coffee Mate French Vanilla creamer. Now that I have told you my whole pity party. I feel very overwhelmed about where to start, and how to start. I honestly don't know how to cook any differently than I do now. I can't go to classes, because of lack of transportation. I have really good health insurance, from being on SSI, but my husbands health insurance from work is terrible. So I worry about him, I worry about our son. Now I am finally worrying about myself as well. For some reason, the high bs's I just ignored, the gall bladder I ignored, but the problems with my eyes scared me enough to reach out to you folks. I told you all of this stuff for the very reason that I want you to understand me, and my lack of willingness to change. I am a recovering addict, I have almost 3yrs clean now. So I know I have it in me somewhere to change, or I wouldn't have been able to quit the pain pills. I am so tired of my feet hurting so much when I walk. My new doc. told me that they won't know the extint of the nerve damage to my feet until about 6mos after I get my bs's under control. I am so tired of being sick and tired. I sleep a lot(which I also know is due in part to my diabetes.) So yeah, I guess with even as scared I am to change, and embaressed about telling my story, I am reaching out to you folks, because I also have a 23yr old ds, and a 28yr old dd, with 2 young grandchildren, but mostly I want to be around to see my 13yr. old ds grow up. So here it is all laid out for you guys. The ugly truth about me not changing. Sorry this post is so so very long. I would so like any feedback I can get, hopefully not to harsh. Thanks I appreciate you all listening. Thanks,

Donna

Donna

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 1:21pm

Well, by some miracle(and I do put this blessing on my doxie angel(Twinkie). I lost her now just over 5 years ago(as I have been known to whine, she was ONLY 15 1/2 years old!!!), and I went to dr for physical to make sure it was ok to work out at the Y!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 1:56pm

On the subject of being hungry, having high blood sugar actually contributes to feeling hungrier than when it is controlled. Seems counter-intuitive since you'd think that when your blood sugar level went up, your body would say "Okay, enough food" and that -is- what happens for non-diabetics (as long as they are listening to their body and not the clock or their emotions). I know I've gotten in a couple of bad times in this last year when my sugar got high and instead of testing, I just ate because I felt "hungry" and boy did that go nuts because I'd head right for the wrong stuff.

As some have said, there are things that are acquired tastes. Maybe do one meal per week of "experimental" food - whole wheat pasta, quinoa pasta, spaghetti squash (which can be cooked and sauced just like spaghetti but it's a veggie), try some different veggies, etc. One biggie is to never overcook whole grain pasta (or any pasta really) - al dente is better tasting and better texture.

Meat has no carbs unless it's breaded or sauced with something that has carbs in it (like BBQ sauce that has sugar or honey or corn syrup). Most dairy foods are low in carbs. Nuts are also low/no carbs.

And, as has already been said, watch the portion sizes. Yes, the size of a pack of playing cards is one serving of meats (which means a SMALL burger, not even a quarter pounder because the serving size is 3 oz and a quarter pounder is 4 oz). Get out the measuring cups to measure cereal servings, for instance. Over time, you'll get better at eyeball measuring but to start, measure *everything* right down to the condiments (ketchup has corn syrup and sugar in most of the commercial brands). Oh, and canned stuff is okay BUT most canned goods are way high in sodium, which you do not need. Frozen veggies are better than canned, if fresh isn't available. Or, look for low sodium canned products. READ every package - all packaged foods are legally required to list nutritional info AND ingredients - again, check out what portion size they are listing. For instance, they might say "Low carb" on a package - and it is, IF you usually eat only 1 teaspoonful of whatever it is (and sometimes they deliberately will 'adjust' their serving size so that the numbers look good - full well knowing that MOST people are not going to eat that tiny a portion). Look for items that, if they have sugar at all, have it listed way way down the bottom, not in the top 3 or 4 ingredients.

Check the recipes below as well as roam around the web for recipes of all sorts - there are some really good tasting options. In your situation, really the whole family at home (you, your spouse, your son) needs to eat low carb/low sugar, watch calories, etc. So, you don't need to make separate meals. What might help if you feel hungry a lot is to split the carbs - instead of 30/30/45 as was mentioned (which is a good rule of thumb), divide it into 20/10/20/10/30/15 so that you are eating a little bit *A LITTLE BIT* every 2 or 3 hours through the day. So, a 1/2 cup of Cheerios with low fat milk and maybe 1/2 a banana for breakfast then some whole grain crackers with peanut butter (figure out how many crackers = 10 grams of carbs). Then a low carb whole grain tortilla wrapped around some cold cuts for lunch (the low carb tortillas we get are < 20 grams of carbs per 1 tortilla). Then 10 carb grams of a snack. Then dinner of 3 oz of baked or broiled meat (NOT fried if you can avoid it), don't do gravy (flour thickener is a carb), steam some broccoli and carrots or something (taste and texture is better steamed than boiled) - evne some okra if you want it as long as it's not breaded and fried (since you mentioned Southern roots) - or have some greens. Then have a small snack later in the evening of a baked apple (heat it with cinnamon and no sugar - I've found that mixing splenda with cinnamon covers a lot of the artificial taste. I can't use nutrasweet or any sugar alcohols like sorbitol because of physical reactions to them and I had a weird reaction to stevia as well so they're all out).

Good luck
--Deb

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2007
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 8:23pm

Deb,


WOW! Jeez Louisa, what a lot of info. Thank you. You know this morning when I had the Stevia in my coffee, I got a really bad panic attack, which I don't understand if it is all suppose to be natural, but oh well, so my dh is going to bring some packets of spenda home from work, and I will try that tomorrow. I have to honestly say that most of the foods you mention to me, are at this point a big YUCKY! I can't believe I have to change that much. I was just talking to my dd, she is the one with the M.S., and she was saying hey mom, you know it's the build up of all the junk you have eaten in the last 7yrs, plus prior to that. And darn if she's not right. And I know it as well. So this eating healthy is going to be quite a bit of a change. My attitude was always that "these" people are missing out on life, because they are so health food guru's. Well the joke is on me. So now at 49, I really don't have a choice but to become a health guru, lol, or I will die, so will my husband, and my ds will probably become a diabetic. So time to dive in. But yeah very overwhelming, all of you are being ever so supportive, and I so appreiciate it. Just a lot to do, when I was pregnant with my 13yr. old ds, I developed gestational diabetes, and I still remember that the obgyn told me to look at labels with sugar having to be at least four down on the list. I remember looking and finding that so many of the foods I ate had sugar listed as 1,2,or 3. I was like well what am I suppose to eat? A shocker than a shocker now as I am beginning to look at labels again.(sigh)


I didn't know that if your bs is high that it makes you more hungry, I would have thought the same as what you said, that I would just get more full, and not feel those hunger pains. So I will have to watch for that as well. I have also heard that eating 6sm. meals a day can help, just didn't know that I would have to watch the carbs. I was talking to my dd as I just said, and she says that it is the sugar that is hurting me so much, although I don't directly use a lot of straight sugar, not the carbs. So how exacty do carbs. hurt diabetics so much?


What is quinoa pasta? You also mention al dente what does that mean. I have heard that brown pasta, or whole wheat pasta is really really an aquired taste, that in fact it tastes horrible. But I don't really know that for a fact since

Donna

Avatar for cl_maryfrances40
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 1:25am

Donna,


I am so glad to read that you have a doctor's appointment scheduled. Since you have Medicare as part of your SSI, please ask your doctor for a referral to a dietitian for meal planning help. It is part of Medicare benefits. Even though your husband has less adequate health insurance he can follow what the dietitian recommends for you. Just tell the dietitian that both of you are diabetics. (Both my hubby and I are diabetics and this was part of the discussion that I had with the dietitian.)


I was almost 50 pounds heavier than I am now and I still need to lose more weight. I am slowly losing a pound here and there.


Yes, I know about Byetta. Because I am on insulin and another injectable diabetic drug when my doctor wants to start me on Byetta I asked to take the oral version instead. I already take 4 shots per day and I didn't want to add two more. So I take Januvia and it seems to work just fine for me. There are several people on the board that take Byetta.


I still eat pasta once in a while. But I measure the amount and never have more than 1/3 cup which is the portion size. I carb count which is the recommended way of managing diabetic eating now. I am allowed up to 45 grams of carbs for dinner. If I want to eat all of them in pasta, while it is not really recommended, I can do that. I used to use the exchange system and I was amazed at how liberating counting carbs was. There really isn't much that I can't have.


I was amazed also when I started eating in a diabetic style that I wasn't hungry. I do eat foods that have more fiber in them. When I start craving something sweet it is because I haven't been eating my fruits. I usually have fruit at least twice per day. Today I had a homemade chocolate pudding instead but tomorrow I will be back on fruits.


Sugar is allowed for diabetics in the amount of 1 tsp. per serving. I do use splenda some but I usually cut the recommended amount in half because it tastes too sweet to me. I can't use Stevia because it has no taste for me. That really disappointed me. Try adding in a tsp of cinnamon to your coffee as cinnamon also helps lower blood sugar. My sister ( also an RN and diabetic) was telling me that nutmeg also helps lower blood sugar.


I look forward to reading what your doctor suggests when you see her. If you are motivated, she will be more motivated to help you.


I am going to stop now as it is getting late. I look forward to hearing from you again.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2005
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 7:33am

You previously wrote:


 

Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 1:17pm

Your body operates on one thing: glucose. ALL carbohydrates are converted to glucose when they get digested. Some things digest slowly so the carbs drip into your system slowly (whole grains for instance, because the fiber slows things down digestively). Other things get digested really fast so they hit your blood stream fast (like mashed potatoes - they're basically equivalent to eating a spoonful of plain sugar as far as your body is concerned). Your body doesn't know that what you just ate was a baked potato - all it sees is an easily digested sugar versus a less easily digested whole grain slice of bread.

Also, if you're using mostly store bought packaged foods, you have to look for ALL the various names of sugar: there's sugar of course (sucrose), then there's fructose, lactose, corn syrup, high fructose corn syrup, ... catching the trend there - anything ending in -ose is likely a sugar. Pretty much anything ending in -itol (sorbitol, maltitol, etc) is a sugar alcohol - which is a better alternative as far as carb watching but it is known to sometimes cause intestinal upset (I can't eat that stuff without problems).

Al dente is the traditional italian way to serve any pasta "to the tooth" which means not mushy and overcooked. Done just enough. Check package directions and cook for the lowest time, give or take a minute. For instance, if it says 8-10 minutes, aim for 8 minutes. Take a small piece out and cut it in half. If there's no dry white center, it's done. The longer it cooks, the more starch is "loosened up" which makes it easier to digest, thus hitting your bloodstream quicker.

Quinoa is "the mother grain" it's a grain that has been cultivated as far back as people have cultivated grain. It's quite tasty and slightly less carby than plain wheat. It also tastes pretty much like wheat as well. Of the two, I prefer quinoa pasta to whole wheat "brown" pasta. Many chain groceries are now carrying it in their "natural" foods section - I know that the grocery store we shop at has a section in just about every aisle for organic and "all natural" type foods.

What you want as far as blood sugar is gentle ripples on a pond on a calm day. You don't want tsunami waves with big surges and withdrawals. So, eating foods that digest slowly over time not only helps you stay feeling a bit more full, less hungry, but it also controls how your blood sugar rises and falls.

We rarely eat meat anymore so that makes it easier. We also sometimes just make our own BBQ sauce so we can control the ingredients and limit sweeteners to small quantities and/or low glycemic sweeteners (things like agave syrup which is a sugar but is more of a drip rather than a gush digestion-wise). Or, we'll use an alternative to traditional BBQ sauces and use something like salsa (which is usually pretty low carb) - it depends on what it is we're cooking what we'll do with it. Broiled or baked (or grilled) meats really need very little if they are nice cuts. I don't use anything on them at all; hubby will put stuff like hot sauce on his (he's got a favorite Caribbean hot sauce from St. Croix that uses habanero peppers and curry! It's got a mule kick to it) - I don't eat spicy hot stuff but if I did, that'd work because it's basically no carbs, just seasonings and vinegar (and vinegar can be a diabetic's friend). if you like to BBQ, try using dry rubs and marinades (check labels of course) rather than slathering heavily sweetened sauces on it - and check the sauces as well, you might find something that is low carb/low sugar IF you use just a small amount (like a tablespoon rather than 1/4 cup).

One thing I do is add 1/4 cup crumbled pecans on top of my cereal in the morning - it adds protein and fiber which slows the digestion of the cereal without adding carbs and it makes the bowl look fuller and fills me up a bit more. Also, quantity depends on the cereal too - some cereals might be 3/4 cup or even 1 cup for you. I know that for me, I need to keep under 25 grams of carbs every time I eat (I do 3 meals and 2 snacks per day) or my blood sugar goes up - if I have 30-45 grams of carbs at one sitting, I *know* my sugar goes up higher than it should so I don't do that.

Plus, you *can* have things like ham and eggs for breakfast if you choose - neither has any carbs really (as long as it's not honey baked ham or anything like that with added sugar on it), so it's not just cereal or nothing. A cheese omelette, even, is fine. I can't do that because I have a nasty intestinal reaction to eggs.

As far as the pasta, we do the same things with the quinoa or whole wheat pasta that we do with "plain" pasta - sometimes tomato sauce (low sugar sauce), sometimes just some canned diced (peeled) tomatoes, sometimes an alfredo type sauce, sometimes just buttered noodles, whatever. Sometimes we add in cooked frozen mixed veggies and cheese to make it sort of like pasta primavera at a restaurant.

We haven't purchased bread in about a year or so - we make whole wheat bread at home in the bread machine whenever we want some. Not only does it cut down on the sugar added (we use agave nectar mostly, as it's low glycemically, and we're thinking about experimenting with the Splenda for Baking as well) but it allows us to be sure that there's real whole wheat and/or other grains in it. Plus we tend to not just have loaves of bread sitting around - we make it when we want it and when it's gone we don't have any more until we make more. For instance, we made a loaf the other day to go with some homemade vegetable soup (yum!). We've still got about half a loaf left. We just don't eat as much bread as we used to in general. We also use Tumaro's brand low carb multi grain tortillas to make wraps (one tortilla/wrap is 13 grams of carbs vs over 20 for most regular flour tortillas or two slices of bread). Sometimes my hubby will make homemade whole wheat flour tortillas if he's got time and wants to do that for something specific (like if he's making fajitas for dinner). My dad found a really low carb Arnold bread at the grocery store the other day, so you might look for that - two slices of that were equivalent in grams of carbs to one slice of regular bread.

Grits are carbs - plain grits runs 30-40 grams of carbs per cup, check the package for the specifics of what you're using. Likely you'll need to only have 1/2 cup or so of grits, less if you add honey or other sweetener. Butter has little to no carbs - it's just fat. Personally, we use Smart Balance spread for various reasons - I only use real butter when baking certain things that really need butter for flavor and texture (and usually those things are heading out to parties or potlucks, not just staying home with us).

You might also check out the "atkins" section at the grocery store - that's where they have all the stuff for the Atkins low carb diet. I'm not an Atkins person and even some of the Atkins stuff is not great for diabetics BUT it is one easy place to look for low carb items. Just check the label as usual. You might also find diabetic-targeted items nearby in that section (stuff like Glucerna products).

You've also already gotten some good links to online resources for information and recipes. The best way to take control is to really take control - start (slowly) to make some of your own stuff rather than buying pre-made stuff. That way you can make SURE that sugar is way down the list of ingredients because you're in charge of how much of what goes in.

Basically, look at what you eat and find ways to continue eating most of what you love and find substitutes for what has to go. For instance, I'm a real chocolate lover (the darker the better in my book - 60%-70% cocoa is my favorite). To not ever have chocolate again would really bother me. So, how to have chocolate without throwing myself into a bad situation? (a) I found a low carb hot cocoa mix that I can have sometimes (b) I put 1 teaspoon (that's TEAspoon) of semi sweet chips on my cereal some days (okay most days) - but even with that, I've also got the fiber and protein from the pecans and the fiber in the cereal and the total (cereal, nuts, chocolate chips and unsweetened almond milk - we haven't bought animal milk for our own use in months) is less than 25 grams of carbs. If I really want potato, we'll get sweet potatoes and bake them/roast them - it's still potato but slightly less impact than white potatoes - I just don't eat a huge amount of it.

There are tons of low carb cookbooks out now (thanks to the Atkins folks among others who created a demand) and it might be worthwhile to get your hands on some, or at least check out "low carb recipes" online - there's a lot there.

As far as "all natural", foxglove is "natural", it's a plant BUT it's also the basis for digitalis which is a heart medicine - eating foxglove can stop your heart. So, "all natural" doesn't necessarily mean "safe for everyone to use as much as they want". I don't use stevia because it makes me feel odd. I don't use soy much because it gives me PMS-like symptoms. I don't use sorbitol et al because it messes with my digestion. I don't eat eggs because of the aforementioned digestive problems - they're "natural" too but I can't eat them. Splenda is the only artificial sweetener that doesn't cause digestive upsets or migraines for me. So, I either use that or just cut my portions way down of sugared-items. Oh, and sometimes things labelled "low sugar" or "sugar free" arem't necessarily great for diabetics - a friend made an apple pie and used Splenda in the filling. That was great and thoughtful BUT the crust was still made with white flour and the apples themselves have a carb value (though the fiber helps in that respect). So, I just had a really SMALL piece of that pie (1/16 rather than the usual 1/8 wedge).

If you referred to okra and greens and such as "yucky" that's fine - I didn't know if that was part of your Southern heritage or not. I don't particularly like either of them. You might instead look to other areas of your heritage, seasonings and rubs and such - most spices are no carb, salsa and hot sauces often are no carb (who wants sugar in something designed to burn your tastebuds out of your mouth lol) and so on. The ubiquitous white sausage gravy (we lived in OK for 5 years and it was everywhere!) for example, is basically fat and white flour - not a good choice, so that'll need replacing. But, a good Caribbean spice mix or a tex-mex salsa is great.

Maybe it would help if you give us some ideas of your absolute "can't live without it" favorites and we can all chip in ideas on how to fit that in.

--Deb

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 7:58pm

JUST one caution here especially since Deb mentioned Atkins!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 10:31am

I'm not a big fan of most Atkins products because they often do use sugar alcohols to get around the carbs and even a small amount is a problem for me (like one hard candy, as you mentioned). I'd much rather use something like agave syrup or molasses or mashed fruit than use artificial sweeteners. We make a peanut butter oatmeal whole wheat cookie using mashed banana and non-fat yogurt instead of any sugar or butter. It comes out more like mini muffins than flat cookies but when we add in a bit of dried fruit like raisins and a dash of cinnamon it's really wonderful - lots of fiber and some protein. I don't have the carb count handy but it comes out pretty good and it only takes one or two little cookie balls to feel satisfied because of the fiber and flavor. (and yeah sometimes we put a dollop of semi sweet chocolate bits in there too).

--Deb

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2005
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 4:33pm

In regard to:

 

Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2005
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 4:41pm

You previously wrote:


 

Amy