Psychological Effects of Diabetes
Find a Conversation
Psychological Effects of Diabetes
| Thu, 07-10-2008 - 8:01pm |
I have a problem. I've been diabetic for 19.5 years of my 20 years. I never got used to it, I hate it, I despise it, and I don't want it anymore. I find myself thinking that it's not fair, why did it happen to me, and I get depressed. These are not healthy thoughts. I get angry at people with type 2 diabetes, my mother for example, was diagnosed with it, and for whatever reason is still able to drink regular soda, never check her blood, et.c. and keeps her A1C at, like, 5-6, while I have to struggle to keep it below 9 or 10. And the real crappy part is that sometimes my insulin doesn't work, or my hormones get out of wack, or it's stress, or something, but no one believes me. I'll do everything normal, and I use syringes and needles (so it isn't a technical problem), and I'll wake up and my blood sugar will be 500-600, for no reason! With numbers like that, I'm afraid I'm going to wake up blind. I mean, I'm able to get them under control relativly quickly, but I don't know what to do. I mean, the doctors tell me to eat less, but I've I'm not going to eat too little and starve, I mean, I don't eat much as it is, and normally I have a cup and a half of skim milk for my bedtime snack. I just want to be normal, just for fricken week, a day, and hour even.I just get upset because I was diagnosed so young I don't know what it's like to be normal. I don't know, I just wanted to rant.



It is good to rant about things from time to time.....it lets off steam to say the least.
I get angry at people with type 2 diabetes, my mother for example, was diagnosed with it, and for whatever reason is still able to drink regular soda, never check her blood, et.c. and keeps her A1C at, like, 5-6, while I have to struggle to keep it below 9 or 10.
Please believe me, your mother is going to pay the price for this bad behavior. It will ultimately destroy her health and that isn't a pretty sight. Remember denial isn't a river in Egypt.
I noticed something you said to my sister (cl-thebuglady2 is my twin sister and also a type 2 diabetic). I wonder why you haven't been started on carb counting and taking insulin based upon the amount of carbs you are eating. I was started on carb counting when I couldn't keep from having severe hypoglycemia after starting on insulin and I was amazed at how liberating it was. I still make some insulin and so I am not on short acting insulin like you are but I still have problems with having low blood sugar. Let me tell you it isn't fun to drive your car with a 52 blood sugar.
Diabetes for you is normal. Your normal is different from most other people. Some of us are special in other ways also. You have done really well in living a normal life and at time all of us lament our diabetes. I think I asked you this before, but why don't you consider getting a pump? It really would make your life easier once you got settled with it.
I'm iffy on the pump because I'm iffy on the whole technology thing. I was on the Lantus pump for a while and several times, with two different ones, they would feel like it was working, but it malfunctioned. It's horrible to go through that, for me, I mean, physically horrible. So, what happens when my pump stops working? Although, I am warming up to them, and as I have recently moved, once I get refered to a new endo, I'm going to discuss them.
I know that a lot of my frustration is because I've (even after 19 years) have never been taught anything about taking care of myself except that I can eat this and not that, and take this much insulin now. Obviously I can adjust to make it work everyday, but because I was so, so young at my diagnosis, my parents were told everything, because how can you explain things like that to a 10 month old? And now as an adult I've got so many unanswered questions (What about pregnancy, how do I educate my boyfriend who I live with now, when it start effecting my body?), and I only now realized that this is the reason I get so angry. So, I will be talking to a doctor once I find out my new work schedule (asI said, I just moved, so things need to settle down and fall into place).
Thanks for listening you guys, it helps a lot to just mindlessly rant.
When you see the new doctor ask for a referral to a diabetes education center. There have been lots of changes on how we manage diabetes. It will tune up your knowledge and perhaps teach you new things. You might be surprised at how much you really know and it certainly would help you be able to better explain to your boyfriend what is happening with you.
I just suggested the pump because it could make your life more normal and better control your diabetes.
When you decide that it is time to have children, you will need to be cared for by an endocrinologist and a high risk Ob-Gyn doc. Type 1 diabetics are successful parents, it is just more work. But the same thing can be said of type 2 diabetics because they have to go on insulin for their pregnancies also. We have a number of members on this board who have had successful pregnancies while being diabetic. It is much more common now than in the past in as much as 8% of the population has diabetes.
Come here for support as you would like and it is great that you share with the other members.