New here and so bad...........

Avatar for anprdp
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
New here and so bad...........
12
Tue, 01-27-2009 - 8:04pm
Okay, before I get the lectures lol I am an intelligent woman who has alot of medical knowledge and know right from wrong.  My problem?  I CANNOT HELP MYSELF SO HELP ME GOD!  For some reason for the last year I have not kept my type 2 diabetes in check.  I cannot seem to choose the right things over the wrong things.  I know better, seriously.  But, I keep doing wrong!  I had gestational diabetes with both my pregnancies and finally developed full blown at 29.  I did very good for months, until I had surgery and then I never came back to where I was supposed to be.  I hate meat and I want my carbs.  I am like a junkie!  Right now my blood sugar is sitting at 400 and I know this is so baddddddddd.  Honestly, these are the first testing strips I have bought in months.  And I am supposed to take actos/met 2 times a day and I am lucky to make the effort for one.  What is wrong with me?  I just don't seem to care?  Does anyone else feel this way?  I feel like a carb junkie.  I did better when I was pregnant, but now that I have no baby inside and will never have another I feel like free reign.  I know you girls cannot solve this for me.  But, I just need to vent since yelling at myself has done no good!



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Avatar for cl_maryfrances40
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 01-27-2009 - 9:44pm

Angelica,


What you have is denial and remember that is not a river in Egypt! No one on this board is going to yell at you. Believe me when I tell you this.


But we are going to help you little by little to get on the straight and narrow. We know what diabetes feels like. You are a young mother. Much to young to get the complications of diabetes and you have two gorgeous sons to live for and to do the right thing.


The management of diabetes is basically one hour at a time. You can not take back what you did or didn't do so just let it go. I can also tell you that you really don't feel well right now. It will take awhile before you will feel better as your system needs to get used to having normal blood sugars.


I don't know how long it has been since you have seen your physician. But you really need to see him or her now. Please make an appointment. You will have to own up to what you haven't been doing but it won't be the first time s/he has heard this story. Take your medication as it has been ordered while you await your appointment.


Taking charge of what is going on with you will make you feel better. You are not powerless to manage this disease.


Then pull up a chair and join our conversation. Remeber there are no saints around here! But we are here to celebrate successes, lament failures and we all have them and give gentle shoves when necessary. Consider yourself shoved!


A very gentle hug,


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2008
Tue, 01-27-2009 - 10:35pm

First of all, I think you need to forgive yourself!!!

twosweet02

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Wed, 01-28-2009 - 8:29am

I'm mostly vegetarian so I'm not big into meat either (some nice fresh fish, baked or grilled, once or twice a month maybe, is about it as far as meat goes) so yeah I know that it can be difficult to balance carbs. (the plus to not eating much if any meat is that it goes a long way to keeping cholesterol in check, and that's good for the cardiovascular side of things)

The big thing is to get as much bang for the carb buck as you can. Whole wheat, brown rice, whole/rolled oats, beans, etc are all carbs but they have more fiber and more protein (and a whole list of other nutrients) than the white versions. They're also more filling and satisfying so you can eat less of them and still feel good. Plus, carbs are necessary for living - that's the catch of diabetes, can't just eliminate all carbs, just control them. Testing is critical too - there are probably things that you CAN eat within a certain portion size but you can't know that until you start testing before and after meals. Some folks can actually eat a small portion of baked potato, others can eat a small portion of brown rice, some can eat Cheerios, others can't. But you don't know what works for you unless you test. My mantra is "everything is legal, not everything is profitable" - I can eat anything I want at any time BUT I choose what is my best choice at this given moment - and sometimes that's 8 grams of chocolate chips and other times it's a couple slices of cheese instead. I meet my chocolate cravings with either 85% cocoa dark chocolate (the higher the %age the less sugars are added so it's fairly low impact) OR by going to a local organic chocolate place near us and getting the sugar free (high grade maltitol instead of sugar or chemicals) chocolates.

FWIW it's possible to get burned out on the constant vigilance needed to manage diabetes. Giving yourself small bits of leeway is a good thing - my indulgence, as noted, is chocolate. But, PLAN those things into your day so they don't throw off everything else. It's also necessary to go through some level of grieving once you're diagnosed - the denial, anger, etc Grieving the loss of the freedom you once had, grieving for the future that is now so different, etc. Allow that.

And, as others have said, you've got small kids. A glucose reading of 400 could cause you to lose consciousness or have other problems. Do you want to risk that with the kids around, perhaps when you're driving, or cooking, or whatever? I know you don't. That's one of the things that is a driving force for me - I've got a 10 yr old right now. I am the main source of income for the family. I *need* to be healthy for at least 8 more years. So, I control things. For right now, do it for them. In the long term, though, you need to do it for you. But, doing it for them right now will help you get back on track - kind of the 'fake it til you make it' idea.

When I was first diagnosed two years ago, I got really ANGRY. It felt like a betrayal by my body. I was dead set on "proving" to the endocrinologist that diagnosed it that I could deal with it and not need all the meds she suggested right off (statins, metformin, etc). I researched with a vengeance, changed my eating and exercise habits, tracked my eating (carbs, calories, protein, sodium, potassium) and for that first year I kept my A1C below 6.0. I've also brought my LDL down under 100 without meds and I've lost 30some pounds since then. But my A1C is at 6.3 now - down from 6.4 but still above 6.0 And I know why - I got tired plain and simple. Tired of watching every mouthful, tired of saying no thanks to pumpkin pie and ice cream and hot cocoa and all my favorite foods. So, I consciously and deliberately set out to recreate my favorites with less impact on my glucose levels. Pumpkin pie made with Splenda in a pecan crust is delicious and very low carb. I found a low carb (Splenda based) hot cocoa mix - and also fell in love with Bengal Spice tea which has no carbs at all, no caffeine either. We got a grain grinder so we can make our own fresh whole wheat flour - the fresh flour has a different protein/carb ratio so it's got less glycemic impact (still have to watch it) plus the whole grain has fiber - more protein, good fiber, slower digestion so it drips into the blood stream instead of gushes. Agave syrup is less of a glycemic hit than any other non-artificial sweetener so we use that instead of sugar for some recipes (like the small bit of sweetener needed for yeast breads). It's totally possible to not eat meat and still control diabetes (I get my protein from cheeses, beans, whole grains - I can't eat eggs at all, nasty gastro reaction).

And, as others have said, each hour, each minute, is a choice - missing one choice does not mean that all the rest of the choices, the moments, of today are useless. EVERY moment is a choice and EVERY moment is a new chance to make a good choice.

Oh, and keep in mind that while you're bringing your glucose numbers down to a better range, you are likely to feel weird, like you've gone too low, at times. Those are times when you particularly NEED to test - you might indeed be low, you might not be. If you're not actually clinically low, that's when you it can be helpful to have a *moderate* something, like 5 to 10 grams of carbs (a couple of whole grain crackers with cheese or a handful of nuts), just to steady yourself so you don't start bingeing and send things skyrocketing again. Be prepared for that weird feeling - know in your head exactly what you plan to do in that situation so it is second-nature. The less thinking involved the better sometimes. Have tasty, nutritious, healthy, appropriate level of carb snacks on hand. (BTW enlist hubby in helping if you can - way off blood sugars can affect your moods and your shall we say 'receptiveness' and all like that. My hubby knows when I've had more carbs than I should because I fall asleep instead of being awake and ready for a bit of nookie at bed time )

--Deb

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2009
Wed, 01-28-2009 - 12:59pm

I'm new too, I just wanted to say best of luck.


I have no clue yet, but hope to learn from the vets on this board.

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Avatar for anprdp
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
Wed, 01-28-2009 - 1:37pm
Thanks ladies for your input.



iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Wed, 01-28-2009 - 3:08pm

FWIW (and I'm not a medical person and I don't play one on TV) sounds like there might (possibly) be a bit of depression involved. Multiple medical issues (diabetes is a prime risk factor for depression BTW) plus small kids (post partum depression can *start* up to two years after giving birth; sleep deprived mommies are also at risk for depression) sounds like that (depression) might be something to discuss with your health care provider.

You made some better choices so far today. Great. Keep going. Take each moment as it comes - each moment is a chance to choose the better option.

--Deb

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
Wed, 01-28-2009 - 9:53pm
One thing that might or might not help some is remembering that if you are eating the simple carbs, the kinds that spike your blood sugar and then let it nose dive..... often give you really really nasty urges to find more and more carbs, sweets, etc to eat!
Avatar for cl_maryfrances40
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 01-28-2009 - 10:11pm

Hi and welcome to the board.


Please pull up a chair and join our conversation. We are here to support you as much as we are able.


A bug welcoming hug,


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Thu, 01-29-2009 - 9:18am

I've also noticed that high blood sugar will trigger binges in me - I just want more and more even though my sugar level hasn't had time to drop off. Gets to be a nasty vicious cycle.

I was pondering what tips or hints I've found really helpful and making habits kept coming up. I have a standard habitual breakfast that is the right portion/combination for my mornings, no thinking involved. I have a habit of checking the time I finish eating so that I'll know when to test. I have a habit of packing leftovers into single serving portions so I can't take more than is appropriate for me (without extra effort). I have a habit of turning to certain things when I need a snack - things that I know right off how much is a portion (for instance, 15 of the All Bran multigrain crackers is right about 15 grams of carb, plus fiber and such - paired with some cheese and I'm good to go).

The other thing that goes hand in hand with habit is planning. I know when my most likely to lose it times are and I *plan* for those times. For instance, I know that if I get home from work and dinner still has 20 minutes to cook, I'm likely to reach for something to munch. So, I try to have things like nuts on hand that I can just grab a small handful and be satisfied without messing up dinner/carbs. Or, I'll nibble on slices of mozzarella when we're making pizza. I also know that mid afternoon is a 'snackish' time for me, so I'll divide my carbs a little and have a snack (current fav is an apple, quartered and cored, spread with peanut butter and sprinkled with cinnamon). I deliberately reduce lunch and dinner by a couple carb grams and build a snack into my eating. Yes, you can't 'save' carbs (skip lunch and have a 90 gram dinner) but dividing them into smaller amounts more frequently is okay (as usual, YMMV). If I know we're going to be eating at a restaurant for some occasion, I'll hit the web and see if I can find nutrition info online for that restaurant. I can pre-plan my meal so that when I get to the restaurant, I know what I'm going to choose without having to look over all those tasty, tempting, carb and fat laden meals. It's particularly "fun" trying to find a reasonably low carb vegetarian meal at a restaurant but it can be done (sometimes it requires choosing baked fish but that's okay with me - I'm not that strict a total vegetarian lol). When going to a family gathering or a potluck social event, I make sure to bring a low carb snack, side dish or entree (depending on what I've been asked to contribute). Particularly if I know there's going to be lots of snacking on chips and such around the event, I'll make a 'safe' snack that I can nibble on - for instance, I often bring roll ups (multi grain low carb tortilla rolled around various fillings such as ham, cream cheese and dill pickle or roasted red pepper, avocado and cream cheese then sliced into bite size pieces - I can eat 6-8 pieces depending on how big I slice them for <10 grams of carb plus some fiber and protein - not bad at all). Or, hubby will make his homemade guacamole dip and some homemade sesame flax seed whole wheat crackers. I can have a small handful of the crackers with dip without a huge carb hit.

So, to sum up my meanderings: plan eating and develop helpful habits

--Deb

Avatar for coellis
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-29-2009 - 11:57pm
Angelica,

 

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