IBS and moving in with the boy...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2005
IBS and moving in with the boy...
5
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 1:57am

Hi Ladies!! So luckily I found this board and share in this awful problem with y'all! So I have a question for IBS suffers...

I am moving in with my boyfriend in a few months and I suffer from IBS (reaaaaallllly bad). I haven't and won't tell him; but how do I 'hide' it from him when my 'problem' acts up. I really do not want him seeing me like this, but I'm afraid that I just won't be able to avoid it. Any tips/suggestions/etc...

You guys are really great, thanks for being there! (((hugs)))

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 5:13am
I don't know if you'll be able to hunny, my 2& half year old son tells all I spend half my life in the bathroom!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 8:41am

This isn't the advice you want to hear - but I think that you have to tell him. I know it's embarassing and certainly not easy - but he's going to figure something is up and it will be frustrating for the both of you when you try to make up stories.

Perhaps I'm speaking from my own experience of hiding my lupus from co-workers, friends and family for the first 10 years of being diagnosed. It is very mentally and physically draining pretending everything is all right and it's not. And those close to you know when you aren't up to par and when you respond 'oh I'm fine' - then they can start to feel shut out of your life.

It doesn't have to be a big deal - and when I started to tell people about my illness - and even my current health condition - I was amazed that even those close to me didn't want the details I thought they'd expect.

Even now I have to watch what I eat (post Gall Bladder surgery) and sometimes end up with somach issues. If I vanish to the bathroom for 1/2 an hour and come out white as a ghost I just explain that I have stomach problems that sometimes flare up - this was one & I'll be fine. And to be quite honest -now that I think about it most people don't ask if you vanish to the bathroom for a long while - but I can see living with someone that would happen. I think the only people who ask for details about 'stomach problems' are snoopy old aunts and they ask just so they can tell you what they think you should be doing or chime in with their own stories - most people really *don't* want to hear details!

Hang in there,
Jo

 

Community Leader
Registered: 10-01-2002
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 11:08am

Hi and Welcome to iVillage,


I have to agree

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 12:42pm

I also agree with the previous posters ---- it is best to get it out in the open --- you don't have to be elaborate - just be upfront.

You are making a commitment to someone who should love you know matter what --- unconditionally, and you can't hide this.

I know it is not the answer you are looking for, but believe me it will take a "load" off your mind and you won't have to be going through and thinking up all different ways to hide this.

Good luck and post as to what you decide to do.

Ellen

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 11:13am

I have to agree that you need to tell him.