Do I tell my boss?
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Do I tell my boss?
| Mon, 09-03-2007 - 6:43pm |
After suffering a miscarriage on Mother's Day I think I am finally ready to start treatment again. I recently started a new job 3 months ago. Can my boss refuse to allow me to go to these appointments and do I have to disclose what the appointments are for? My last employer had more flexibility but having been at this place for 3 months I am not sure how to approach my male boss. The dr. that I am seeing does not have too much flexibility with early morning appts and his office is a good hour away from my job. At my last job I used some of my personal and sick time but having just started at this place I have not accrued much time. I've contemplated not working for a month or 2 so I don't have to sneak around my boss but that may be more stress without my income coming in. Not sure what to do?! I am tired of putting my needs on hold for a job!

I'd just say you have a medical issue and leave it at that.
Hi,
I hear you on the stress. I have not told my boss. I work for a very micromanaged office and think of it as I have 3 male bosses. So they would never understand so I didn't mention it but I had to say something. I travel at least once a month and with having to be home for bw and u/s not saying something wasn't going to work. So I sat my boss down and said I have some medical things that I need to take care of and I do not plan on it interefering with my everyday responsibilities but most likely I could not travel for about 6 weeks (to not feel the pressure of having to be away). Since then I have found myself divulging slightly more details b/c now they ask ... how was the dr.s appt - which is awkward. So I clarified to one boss stating I'm having tests, every other day before work so they are going as smoothly as they could possibly go. They haven't asked me again.
It's really a call, if you feel comfortable enough saying it and whether or not you think they'd understand. I posed a similar question to the board "Balancing work and Fertility" on the IUI site. There were some people who offered their feedback and their choices on there that you may reference.
I hope this helps and good luck. Keep us posted on the outcome!
Celeste
I'm so sorry about your miscarriage.
This definitely depends on your relationship with your boss -- I did tell my boss and he was very supportive -- he was new 1.5 years ago but I actually feel more comfortable with him then my previous boss -- He actually thanked me for telling him and also stated that I didn't have too -- He didn't want to know all the details on 'everything' I was going thru just as long as he knew when my appts would be -- I know he will not speak to anyone else in the office about it either -- he is someone who likes his personal stuff private just like me -- he did suggest that I do mention it to my HR Manager as well just to help qard off any co-workers from asking/complaining about my vacation usage and starting a fuss (plus I could also stress to HR how not having IF coverage sucks!!)
I work in a very gossip oriented office so my boss even vowed to deter any questions/comments he overhears -- Its not that I don't what my co-workers/friends to know but I don't know what the next step in medical help will be yet and just don't need the added stress/pressure or the unwelcomed out of the blue questions from people who just what the info to gossip about not to truly show support for me -- i think some would actually compete with each other to see you could start the gossip first!
Court
TTC#1 since May 2003
~^~ 5/12/05
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/48158
Hello and Welcome,
I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss.
Debra-TTC after VR Sept 2006 ( VR failed )
1st IVF Cycle : Nov 2007 - BFN
2nd IVF Cycle : April 2008
<Hi Debra,
I would definitely wait until after this IVF cycle to start a new job, if you have any control over when you start.
Remembering o