Insensitivity

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Insensitivity
14
Sun, 01-06-2008 - 1:37pm

 




Edited 4/1/2008 4:07 pm ET by tessmckenzie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2007
Sun, 01-06-2008 - 6:52pm

I know what you mean!

siggy#4
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Sun, 01-06-2008 - 11:17pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2007
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 11:56am

Hi, hubby and I have been trying during 2 holiday seasons so we've experienced this awful phenomenon twice. I truly believe that fertile people just don't see these things as insensitive. They just don't know what it's like to be missing such a fundamental part of your life. I'm sure no one means to hurt us with their children's pictures...but that doesn't mean they don't hurt all the same.

Last holiday season was very hard for us. We did all the usual holiday things (Christmas tree, several gatherings with family and friends, our own big holiday party, church) and had lots of tears, depression, etc. This year we prepared very well and got through it mostly unscathed (no tree or decorations, no Christmas music, minimal gatherings and reminders of the holiday season). For handling the holiday cards, we saved ALL the cards we got in the mail, unopened in a pile, and we opened them quickly on Christmas morning with gifts. If we saw a picture of kids, we just tossed it in the trash without even reading it.

My parents and other people who haven't gone through this thought we were crazy. They couldn't understand why we were being "Stooges" and "Grinches" and why we couldn't just enjoy the holiday season like everyone else. But we're slowly learning that we have to do what's best for us, even if it seems crazy to other people, to help us stay sane.

Reba


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Remembering o

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 3:41pm

I am sorry to hear your pain.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 4:05pm

Avatar for moondesert
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 9:12pm

I agree that it's hurtful to an infertile person, but people are proud of their children and you will be too when you have yours!! You'll be more sensitive about it, because you've had experience with infertility, but to somebody who hasn't, it may not even occur to them that someone on their Christmas list is struggling with infertility because it's not something they think about.

Unless of course they KNOW about your infertility struggles, in which case what I just said doesn't apply and it really is in poor taste.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2007
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 9:35pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 10:10am

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 12:51pm

Maybe you should tell people not to send you the pictures.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 2:32pm

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