New and Freaking Out
Find a Conversation
New and Freaking Out
| Tue, 03-11-2008 - 6:28pm |
I'm having a hard time getting pregnant. My obgyn has me scheduled for a hysterosalpingogram next week, then blood work, then postcoital test, and then hopefully I will get Clomid. I feel so depressed and ashamed. I've been wanting a baby for three years but postponed trying because I was in graduate school full time and my husband and I couldn't afford to have one on one salary (we live in NYC). I just need to hear from other women because I feel so so so bad right now. I never in a million years thought I'd have this problem, and people keep asking me when I'm having a baby already, all the f'ing time and I'm sick of it. Please someone help.

HI wifeofalex. I think everyone here knows exactly how you are feeling. My husband and I have been TTC for over three years. We did IUI five times with no success. It's easy to be depressed, but please don't feel ashamed. There are so many women out there (great ones on this board) that are going through the same thing, you are not alone! It's great that you are getting some tests done to find out what the problem might be. Make sure your husband gets tested as well. Like I said, there are some great ladies on this board that offer wonderful support. I just joined in January and they have been a great help. Feel free to ask any questions you may have.
Good luck to you. Let me know how your tests go!
Sam
The best thing anyone has ever said to me was on this board when I expressed something similar. It went something like: We have a medical condition. There is no more shame or culpability in having to deal with infertility than there is in dealing with arthritis, or cancer, or any other chronic medical condition. And just like any other chronic condition, there is a great deal of pain and depression that can go along with it, because our bodies are not doing what we want them to! It is most frustrating. But it is absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed of. It's not your fault anymore than it would be your fault if you developed arthritis.
I have often thought of that in my head when I'm having a particularly hard time. And it's true. It also makes it easier for me to talk to others when they're putting pressure on me. I can explain to them I'm dealing with infertility, that I'm currently undergoing treatment, and as it's very personal and difficult to talk about I would prefer they not ask me and let me tell them when there is a change. I have found that others are overwhelmingly reasonable when I put it like that, and the nosy nellies find their kind inner selves!
I am sorry you're dealing with this, as are we all. It really, really sucks. Make sure that your husband is tested as well, because it does no good to treat you if there are any issues with him! It can also be very stressful on a relationship, so make sure the two of you have time to talk and work through all of this together. And this forum can be a great place to vent on those bad days when no one else seems to get it.
Wishing you the best,
kris
Hi and Welcome.
Ashley